This article is inspired by the advice that I have given myself and my clientele as a health coach and spiritual guide. I have had hundreds of clients and appreciate them all. But a common thread in myself and others that I can predominantly see is that the millennial age range is searching for Love but having difficulty finding it.

While I do have clientele and readers who are older, I want to focus on millennials as most of us that want to start a family and find the person to do it with.

I am combining my failed relationships with those that I have seen from my profession to highlight why Millenials are struggling in relationships and how we can change that.

Here are 3 Reasons Millenials are struggling relationships:

1. Our examples failed us.

As a child of divorce, I was shown that it is normal for parents to not get along even if they were divorced. It was only once I started to being the healing process of my childhood did I start to understand that fragmented relationships are not normal.

As a child, I had not seen two parents together and happy in my family. This shaped my relationships and how I approached them. I saw men as the enemy and attracted men proved my theory to be right.

We are the generation with the highest percentage of divorced parents and single parent homes. This is not to take away from the hard work that parents have done but when kids are raised by only one parent at a time, they don’t learn many things.

It was only recently did I learn the value of communicating issues to someone that I am in a relationship with and not just leaving, working through issues and, listening and being heard. Although our examples may have failed us, we can learn through therapy and holistic healing to heal our trauma and love from a genuine place.

2. With freedom comes responsibility.

We are the first generation to fully break the mold of traditional roles in relationships. And while I believe that some aspects of tradition are helpful, there are others that aren’t. As I have previously stated in former articles, I believe in the old aspect of feminism where we had to fight for rights to even have a bank account and own a house. But, we still valued and honored men as much as we did women.

Although I believe that feminism has become toxic, I still hold the belief of equality between men and women. Now that we do have more equality, it is something new. And, some women are struggling to embrace this freedom; while men might be having difficulty understanding this notion, too. In addition, I have experienced some women taking it too far and hating men for the past.

This is the era of freedom where we get to choose the kind of relationship that we want. However, liberty is not for those who want to shift blame, it is only for those who take responsibility and learn. So, while we create these new ways of partnerships, we must take accountability for situations and relationships that we are in. Not from a harsh judgemental place but from a compassionate way so that we can move forward with love.

3. Distractions lack substance.

This has been the longest time that I have been single since I was a preteen and the lockdowns have been such a blessing in disguise. When I wanted to run from my healing, I was forced to be with myself. During this time, I saw how distracting my life had become.

I would leave one relationship to be with myself and end up with another. But this time, it was different. I got the chance to fully heal from my previous trauma and close out past chapters completely. I had to look within myself and forgive myself and others for the hurt I caused others and the hurt that was done to me.

While on the professional front, I felt like a lot of time has been wasted, on a personal level I got to sit with myself through one of the toughest times of my life without distractions and the ability to run. Internal depth is something that is irreplaceable because it helps us understand why we behave the way we do and enlightens us to make a healthier choice next time.