Granted, things might not fully be back to normal but we are is way more close to how things used to be than a year ago. I have previously mentioned how last year was the toughest year of my life. I’m sure that I am not the only one who feels this way. But, we made it and it was testimony (to me) that if we believe, we will always be okay.

Although it was a tough time, I think it was secretly a blessing because things happened for me that wouldn’t have if we didn’t go into lockdown. I am sorry that so many people lost their lives and for that I empathize.

However, personally, The World literally stopping taught me a few surprising things.

Here are 3 of them:

1) God has been there for me when people weren’t.

Last year, I saw a side to a lot of people who used to be in my life: family, friends and acquaintances who were around when things were going well but when I stood up for myself or thought for myself, I became the enemy.

I remember lying on my bedroom floor crying and wondering how I was going to pay my rent, if I would ever teach yoga again or, why so many people had turned on me because I was questioning the common narrative of how things were transpiring. I found myself uncontrollably crying when I put on the gospel song, ‘We fall down’ by Duane Wright.

I felt a sudden feeling of lightness and release as I understood that I would be alright. I remembered how far I had come and what I had survived which gave me the courage to have hope that I was going to be okay.

2) Going along to get along is not the option.

While I am easy to get along with, I won’t do it at the expense of who I am and what I believe in. On June 2nd of 2020, I saw a ton of people posting black squares on their social media in honor of Black Lives Matters. It was almost like robots were posting for people.

As I began to scroll through these black squares showing up on my feed, I noticed some people posting who I have heard say racist things from their own mouth and spoken down upon black people in their own lives , some I corrected and others I didn’t want to waste me time. I also noticed actors, musicians and public people who have never had a black person in anything they have worked in or done. I also suddenly noticed how some of these people brought their token black friends for photos as though they were props and not people.

I saw a lot of hypocrisy and it was very revealing. It appeared that the squares were more to get along and to appear virtuous than actually be so. There will always be phonies but it is disappointing when an idea is tainted by those who do it just to get along and play along than those who do it because it is really where their heart is.

3) I can’t be the only fighting for relationships.

I have previously spoken about how I was conditioned from my family dynamic to be the person who makes up for others in relationships. Whether it was family, partners or acquaintances, I was raised to be the one who appeases, to say sorry first and sometimes that took a piece of who I was and my own voice because it put a lot of pressure on me.

Especially in romantic relationships, I would overcompensate so that I would be the perfect partner and be lovable. Subconsciously so that they wouldn’t leave, like my Dad left when I was a child. My people- pleasing was to stop the cycle of abandonment from ever happening to me again.

Since I have released this pressure from myself of needing to be this perfect person for others, I am so much more at peace with who I am. I don’t have to be in relationships with people that I give more to, people who put me last, who never reply to my messages or don’t show me that they genuinely care. It has to be about reciprocity or there is no point in being in it.