I am not a victim. So, when I say that I have had a few stalkers (four of them in 2019), please do not feel sorry for me! I have learnt from these experiences and use them as a pathway to learn what I have had to.

In fact, as a former partner continues to slander my name, claim our eternal love and harass me, I am choosing the route of using this as a reminder that I left that situation for a reason. And, this is highlighted every time that he acts up towards me or I find out that he has done something to try and pull me back into the past. 

Being single at this time in my life is a blessing because I have used this time to heal from the past, date here-and-there and, stay true to the one person who has gotten me through so much throughout the years: myself. 

As I date, I am choosing to remember a few things that I have learnt all this time learning and here are 12 of them: 

1. Just because I have feelings for someone, doesn’t mean that we should be together. 

2. Not every man is going to hurt me and abuse me. 

3. If I close myself off and isolate myself from love, I am only working against myself. 

4. People are worth believing in until they show you otherwise. 

5. Until I love myself unconditionally, I cannot expect another to do the same. 

6. Sometimes people are best to love away from them. 

7. Love is not enough. 

8. In a relationship, someone’s actions are often more powerful than their words. 

9. Sometimes we use the term ‘Ride-or-Die’ to promote a relationship that breeds toxicity. 

10. Forgiveness is a choice that I will make when I am ready to do so. 

11. Sometimes the highest act of love is listening to someone’s problems instead of trying to fix them. 

12. The only kind of relationship that I want to be in is one where two people devote their time, energy and morality into making it work; not jeopardizing it.