Cher W,

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Cher W,



Merci pour ce voyage que nous avons fait, ça a été coloré.



Avant toi, j'ai vu l'amour en noir et blanc. Maintenant, je le vois en couleur.



Vous m'avez appris à rester et à plonger dans l'océan d'amour et pour cela, je vous en suis reconnaissant à jamais.



Qui savait que je devais apprendre des choses sur l'amour? Et que ce soit toi qui m'apprends à rester quand mon ego me dit de partir.



En regardant en arrière, j’étais une fille et vous aimer a fait ressortir la femme en moi.



Merci d'avoir tenu le coup et je suis désolé de ne jamais l'avoir laissé. Je vois l'image plus grande maintenant.



La photo de vous, nos enfants, nos animaux et notre famille. Aussi heureux que nous pouvons être.



Merci pour ce voyage. C'est irremplaçable.

Votre sincèrement



Dear W,

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 Dear W,


Thank you for this journey that we have been on, it has been colourful.


Before you, I saw love in black and white. Now, I see it in colour.


You have taught me to stay and delve deep into the ocean of love and for that, I am forever grateful.


Who knew that I had to learn some things about love? And, that it would be you who teaches me to stay when my Ego tells me to go.


Looking back on my past relationships, I was a girl and loving you has brought out the woman in me.


Thank you for holding on and I am sorry for ever letting go. I see the bigger picture now.


The picture of you, our kids, our pets and family. As happy as we can be.


Thank you for this journey. It is irreplaceable.


Yours truly,

4 Things that I learnt from dating my stalker.

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Out of respect for my current relationship, I was going to keep this matter private as my loyalty lies with my current partner. However, I want to revisit the past for a moment to share what I learnt from dating my stalker sometime ago.


A little while ago, I ended up dating someone who (I came to find out) had been following me and calling me off of ‘no-number’ for 3 years. I broke up with him because I noticed that he had controlling and secretive ways so when the truth came out, I asked myself many questions. Mostly, how could this happen to me? The truth is that it can happen to anyone because the people hunt out their prey and, once they decide that you are the one to hunt down, that is that. They will become who they think you want them to be so that you will end up with them.
I hope that this story helps someone who is going through what I went through or is currently going through it.
This is what I learnt from dating my stalker:

1. Trust your intuition.
It pains me to say that there were tell-tale signs. People would say things like, ‘he is obsessive towards you’ and, ‘be careful around him’. One night, two years ago, we went on our first date and he walked me home, knowing exactly where I lived without me telling him. I questioned whether I had told him or not; only to remember that I hadn’t. You might ask, why didn’t she remember if she told him or not? Which strengthens my point. My intuition questioned how he knew; however, I brushed it off and thought, he would never follow me home. Everytime that I forget, I am reminded that intuition is the way that God/The Universe speaks to us. So, when a little voice in your head says, ‘hmmmm’ or ‘interesting?’ Pay attention! It could save your life.


2. If it’s too good to be true, it probably is.
When I dated my stalker, he would always say the right thing. I found it weird that he would always say exactly what I needed to hear. You might ask, what is wrong with that? The answer is that sometimes the right answer all the time is inauthentic. It got to the point where I felt as though he was only telling me what I wanted to hear so that I wouldn’t leave him. I also noticed that he was overly kind and considerate to me but not to others. Which, made me question his motives. If someone seems too nice to you but has difficulty being the same with others, it is something to be concerned about.


3. Don’t blame yourself.
When I found out that I had dated someone who had studied me, stalked me and had been calling me for three years, it was tough. The toughest part about it was how idiotic I felt. I looked back to the numerous amount of times that he showed who he really was but I chose to ignore it. Sometimes, it still stings when I remember little things that showed who he was. However, blaming myself won’t lead to progress. I decided to progress through forgiveness and understanding. Some lessons are tough ones so that we remember what we have to for the rest of our lives, or for until we forget after a long time.


4. Love is real.
The irony in me ending up in a relationship is quite humorous as, when I entered it I was madly in love with someone else. My intentions of entering the relationship were inauthentic. I always knew that ‘my stalker’ had liked me more than I liked him so I tried to convince myself to be with him. So, The Universe matched my inauthenticity with another’s. In no way, shape or form was it my fault; however, if I didn’t have the need to be adorned and pampered at a time when I was in love with someone else then, I might not have dated him. Thank God that I made it safe and sound. After all of this happened, I kept asking ‘How did he not try to kill me or attack me?’ I don’t know the answer to that question. One thing that I do know is that when being real and authentic is protection. It protects you from people who are fake and vibrations that are low. I choose and will always choose to be authentic about my feelings and who is in my life because needing people around who fuel the ego is dangerous as they probably want something from you. And, you might have no idea what that something is.

4 Things that my Twin-Flame connection has taught me.

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In my last article, I wrote about the journey that I have been on with my twin-flame, or what some people refer to as soulmate. Following this article, I have received many questions about my journey.


One of the main questions was, what is the point of this connection between two people? It is believed that the main reason for this connection is to elevate both people in this connection so that they elevate the level of consciousness in The World. Therefore, a lot of growth needs to happen within both people for them to re-unite otherwise it is destructive.
So, I only found it fitting that I write about the four main things that I have learnt about myself through this journey:


1. Insecurity begins from within.
After I met my twin-flame, he came into my workplace with another woman and I swore that I would never speak to him again. I blocked him on social media and asked myself how rude it is for someone who is interested in me to show up with another woman? Looking back, I was projecting my insecurities onto him. I never even asked who she was to him. I was so hurt by my past that I assumed what had happened to me would happen again. In the past, I have had relationships where the person that I was with felt insecure and projected that into me, by telling me that I wasn’t worthy or making me feel that way. So, when I saw my twin-flame asking for things for another woman, my old story came up. The story that says that I am not enough. I found myself resenting him for it until one day, I broke free of this story and freed myself of the need to carry baggage and insecurities from my past. I created a new story: I am love, I am light and I am enough, whether someone else thinks so or not.


2. Hate is attachment too.
During my angry phase with my twin-flame, I swore that I would never speak to him again. I received signs from The Universe: See his name on billboards, people would mention him around me and I would come into contact with people who knew him. I was running away from him and what he came with, only to be followed by messages of him. I woke up one day, crying as I asked myself why him? I had developed so much hate from him that it was affecting me. I would hope that I never saw him again and when I did, I would act like he didn’t exist or that I didn’t know him. After my fits of rage and upset out of disappointment, I had a realization that hate is attachment. The kind kind of attachment that breeds hostility and negativity. It was weighing me down. I decided to move forward towards forgiveness and love. I did so by meditating and accepting him for who he is while releasing any need for him to act and be the way that I want him to be.


3. Forgiveness is the foundation of any relationship.
As I mentioned in the last article, I had trouble accepting his past- sometimes I still do. You see, I have spent a lot of my adulthood, seeking peace and health. And, I had always thought that my twin-flame was somewhere on this Earth doing the same. So, when I found out that he was a producer in the music industry, I was disappointed because that industry comes from what I have spent my life running away from: drugs, exploitation of women and toxic people. I was on a bus in Colorado when it dawned on me that, his past has brought him to this point. Whatever has led him to this point, I need to be grateful for and through gratitude, I found forgiveness. Through forgiveness, I can appreciate him for who he is. He is a wonderful person with a past and I can’t hold my past against him because if I do, I block the love that we can give to each other whole-heartedly.


4. Let love in.
A part of me was afraid to love him because I was holding onto what has happened before. I found myself speaking (during a class that I was teaching) about being open and trusting love. The thought came to my mind, have I? Have I been open? The answer was no. Then I thought, why? Another thought came to me saying that the past might happen again. I began an inward battle of the devil vs. the angel. The devil being the one that wanted me to stay in resentment and hold onto the past and anger; the angel wanted me to progress, to forgive and to let my twin flame’s love in. From that moment on, I chose to let his love in. Everyday, I choose to let his love in because his love makes me feel safe, helps me break boundaries & limitations that I have placed on myself and, reminds me that we deserve love.

5 Things that I have learnt on my Twin-Flame/ soulmate journey.

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If you had asked me two years ago what a twin flame was, I would’ve shrugged my shoulders and quickly forgotten what the question was right after.


However, today, my understanding of it is very clear because I have been on this twin flame/soulmate journey (from what I can recall) for almost a decade.


*Twin flame is another person living of which you share the same vibration. Someone who is an extension of you but in an another form. It is not always romantic and some people refer to it as a soulmate connection.


Nine years ago, I was working as a bartender at a restaurant in SOHO, New York. One day, The Chef of the restaurant (where I worked) came up to and asked to read my palm. As he began to read my palm, he told me many things that were accurate at the time. Then, he began to tell me that I would come across my soulmate soon. He said that my soulmate is famous and that he would show up at my job and some other things too.
He then told me that my soulmate would send me a gift and I would be in awe. He said that once we were in a relationship, we would be very happy.


Truth be told, I had many many doubts about the story of my soulmate. So, I forgot about it. When he had told me the story, I was a 21 year old who had almost married someone who was very toxic for me and my life. Hence, me being apprehensive about the story or being with anyone who could make me happy.


Many years went by and random psychics would come up to me and tell me the same story. That I would marry someone famous in the music industry who is my soul mate/ twin flame. I had even gone to a tarot card reader about my career in 2014 and he mentioned that my soul mate and I would cross paths many times until one day, he would show up at my job.


I felt like I was running away from this story and it kept following me. Over the years, I would have dreams about a music producer whom I admired .I would dream that he was calling me. I never thought that the call was from my twin flame/ soulmate. I felt a deep connection to him and I wasn’t sure why. I felt like I had to know him and I had never felt like this about anyone, not even people that I had really loved. The feelings were never romantic but i had a deep need to be next to him. Although I had this deep feeling sometimes, I avoided doing any research about his personal life because I didn’t want to taint how I felt about him.


Fast forward a few years to 2018, I am 29 years old and living in Los Angeles working at a yoga studio as front desk one night. And, a random lady walks in to tell me that I am about to get married. I was shocked out of my mind because marriage was the last thing on my list and deep down, the whole idea of marriage scared me. She mentioned that he was in love with my country of origin, South Africa, he was in the music industry and that he was a kind person. Randomly, the name of the producer whom I admired  and felt a deep connection to, came to my head. I thought, could it be him?


I asked her how I would know that it was him and she said, ‘God will send you signs’. Truthfully, I don’t believe many people but I believed her with all of my heart because she seemed sincere and honest.


Two months later, my roommate (who didn’t know anything about the situation) came up to me and said that he had to read my tarot cards. I was in a rush and asked him if I could do it another day. He was forceful about it and so I gave in, I told him that he could. He told me that my soulmate would come into my life soon. That we had crossed paths many times but would meet very soon. He said that he would come to my yoga class in the next week. My intuition shouted the same music producer’s name into my head but I shrugged it off. I thought, of all the people that it could be, why him?


The following Wednesday, the music producer who I had admired showed up to take my yoga class. While I was teaching the class, I realized many things: that we had crossed paths many times in the yoga studio, that my intuition about being close to him was true and that he was my soulmate.


Today, we are still on the journey of separation, meaning that we are not together. Which will end at some point. Hopefully in this lifetime.


Throughout this journey, this is what I have learnt about the soulmate/ twin flame journey.


1. You cannot run away from it.

Since I found out who he truly was, persona-wise, I spent a lot of time running away from him and what came with him: the party lifestyle. I started telling some of my friends the story of how I was being told that I am meant to be with him and they told me that he was going to use me in a sexual way. They had seen his social media and seen women being portrayed in a sexual light. As a defense mechanism, I began to run away from him. He would talk to me or make eye contact with me and I would avoid him at all costs. Sometimes looking at the ceiling when he tried to speak to me. Only up until a week ago, did I realize that I have been the one running away from him, before I thought he was running away from me. Which was clear projection on my part. He has sent me signs and wrote a song that he is ready for this but I was too busy holding his past against him to see beyond judgement and fear. Out of fear, I ran into another relationship only to realize that fear is the opposite of growth. Fear stifles love. So, I am choosing now to love him, completely.


2. Forgiveness is key.

A year ago, I was ready to take the leap with him until I would see images of women dancing on his Instagram page that made me feel uneasy. To add icing to the cake, I had heard that he got into a public argument on Twitter with another DJ/Producer and the person he was arguing with said that he had a long negative history with women. After reading this, internally, I exploded with judgement and anger. I was saddened and disappointed that he, the twin flame/ soulmate, could be so irresponsible with his responsibility as a public figure. I also became jealous that he was spending time with other women and not me. I asked myself, what was he waiting for to be with me? I held onto this anger, resentment and jealousy for months and months. So much so that, I would go onto his Instagram page, and judge him for being a womanizer and pray that I never ended up with him. I was angry and hurt by judgement and fear that I had created in my own head. It was eating me up. After being tortured for so long, I decided to release the anger because it was only bringing me down and doing the opposite of what I want to achieve in This World: to create peace and love. It has been a process, one that I am still on but the overall outcome feels better on my mind and my body.


3. Love is not cautious.

While I was running away from this man, I found myself in a relationship with someone else. Not only was I in the relationship but I was forcing to be with someone that I wasn’t mean to be with. I knew that it wasn’t meant to be because there wasn’t a day that went by that I didn’t think about the producer- even when I was in my new man’s arms. You see, twin flame connection makes you feel what the other person feels, emotionally and spiritually.  I could feel that my twin flame knew that I was in a relationship and he was sad about it. I’m not sure how he found out but I could feel his pain in my heart when I thought about him and it made me sad. Last week, I had the biggest epiphany that I had been playing safe with my twin flame when, love is not safe. Love is great! But, love can be painful, hurtful, upsetting, heartbreaking, disappointing and emotional. But, love is powerful and love always wins. Loving with caution is not true love. So, I broke up with the new guy and have decided to be with my twin flame- whenever that day is.


4. The Universe has a plan.

After my twin flame took my yoga class, I received a lot of signs from The Universe. One of them is that when I was watching an interview with him, he said that he had a tattoo of his favourite animal on a specific part of his body. Kid you not, my mouth fell on the floor as my phone fell out of my hand. I was in such shock because I have a tattoo of my favourite animal on the same part of my body. My mind was blown at how this could’ve happened. Within the next week, everywhere that I went, I would hear his music. I would meet people who had met him or know him and would mention his name in passing until one day, I saw a billboard of his face outside of Trader Joe’sand almost fell on the floor. Even though I received all these signs, it took me some time to realize that it was out of my control. I have always been able to control men, situations and the path of my destiny. So, it was daunting to admit that I couldn’t this time. Only recently have I released complete control over this because I know that The Universe has a plan bigger than I can imagine and I am grateful to be in caring and supportive hands.


5. This kind of relationship is meant for spiritual growth.

In this life, I have suffered a lot of emotional pain from unavailable men. 3 years ago, I was in a steady relationship with someone who I thought that I was going to marry, I became pregnant and had a miscarriage. Following the miscarriage, I ended the relationship because my boyfriend (at the time) was not there for me, emotionally or spiritually. Since then, I have had my guard up in the biggest way. I developed this mentality that I would need to protect myself because I felt like I had been to blame for my miscarriage and the sucky position that I had been in. So, I promised to ignore men that I thought would cause me harm. When I met my twin flame, I felt like he was kind and loving towards me but I became tainted by what I had heard about him and seen on his Instagram. I began to ignore him to protect myself, forgetting that The Universe has my back. Sure, we go through experiences for a reason and we shouldn’t learn the same thing more than once. However, I have learnt that if The Universe has sent me so many signs that this relationship is meant to be, I am only fighting what is in my cards. Today, here I am. With an open mind and an open heart. Deeply curious of what might come if we were together. I have let go of the need to be safe, strong and secure because a lot of life is releasing and admitting that safety is a figment of imagination. I am open to the unknown and open to what this story is. I trust the signs and believe in my twin flame/soulmate connection.

Dear God, did I give up too soon?

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Dear God,


Please guide me. I need your direction.


You gave me all these signs and lead me to someone who seems so broken and in pain. And, we all know about people who are broken and in pain, they replicate it onto others. I have dealt out my share of pain onto others and received a fair hand enough to know that that is the foundation of a healthy relationship.


I have done too much work on myself to be lead backwards. I only want to move forward. God, guide me to light. I’m tired of being on the journey of light alone. You promised me a partner.


A partner who is kind, loving and supportive. I can do it alone but I would prefer this journey to be with another and with the person that you lead me to. However, his actions have shown me that he is not prepared for the light. He chases light but once he has it, sabotages it. I don’t have the energy or time to hold someone accountable for their own guidance to light, that has to come from him. Because I will only become more resentful if I stay and he continues to behave like this.

 

I am worth respect, kindness, compassion and a healthy form of love. God, a part of me is afraid that if I walk from this man then I will never be with my soulmate. The one who you told me was my true love. So, I am not sure what to do. I choose to be with someone who puts me first and will not settle for anything else.


God, please guide me? You know what is best. You’ve shown me before, please show me again? I want to stand up for myself and what I believe in and also be with my soulmate. Is this possible? I am done with my Ego. I am done with facades; I just want to be true. True in love, true in self, true in wealth and true in presence.


I know that this is possible, please guide me? I am patient. I trust you. You have never let me down.


Sincerely,

Les 4 façons dont j'ai appliqué les 12 lois du karma à une récente rupture.

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Honnêtement, je n'ai jamais pensé que j'aurais mis fin à ma dernière relation jusqu'à ce que cela devienne trop difficile. Je pensais qu'il était mon âme soeur et, peut-être qu'il l'est? Cependant, pour sa conservation et sa restauration, une séparation entre lui et moi est nécessaire.




On m'a toujours dit que l'amour est gentil. Donc, il m'est difficile de rester avec quelqu'un qui continue à me faire quelque chose de méchant après que je lui ai dit à quel point cela me contrarie.




Cela n’a pas été facile. Est-ce toujours facile? Cependant, j'applique certaines des lois du karma à cette rupture. Ce que j'ai trouvé utile et, voici comment:




1. Je dois être la personne avec qui je veux être.

J'étais dans un cours de yoga lorsque le professeur a lu les lois du karma, j'ai commencé à pleurer. J'ai pleuré parce que j'avais promis de haïr mon ex et de lui faire mal comme il m'avait fait mal. J'allais me venger, même si cela voulait dire voler ma paix et une partie de mon temps. Elle a lu La loi de la création, quand nous nous changeons nous-mêmes; nos vies changent aussi.


Au fur et à mesure que les larmes coulaient, j'imaginais ce qu'il se passerait si je me vengeais et que j'avais affaire à un groupe d'hommes, ce qu'il fait avec des femmes. J'ai pleuré parce que je savais et comprenais vraiment que je suis meilleur que ce comportement. Si j'en ai vraiment fini avec lui, je dois élever mon comportement. Ce qui signifie qu’on dépasse ce qui m’a été fait.



2. Si je le laisse partir, je dois vraiment le dire.

Il a été difficile de le lâcher car plusieurs médiums différents m'ont dit que c'était mon âme soeur. Je ne sais pas pourquoi et peut-être que je ne le saurai jamais. Alors, je le laisse continuer et je le retourne parce qu’une partie de moi veut croire ce que j’ai dit.




Lorsque le professeur de yoga a lu La loi de l'humilité, j'ai eu un moment d'ampoule: je dois accepter que son comportement est toxique envers moi pour pouvoir avancer. Son comportement est toxique parce qu'il crée un comportement en moi qui veut se venger, être méchant et jaloux, quand il n'y a jamais besoin de cela.



Donc, j’accepte que cette relation est toxique pour pouvoir me libérer du fardeau de devoir mentir lorsque quelque chose me pèse.




3. Soyez ici maintenant.

Après avoir pris la décision de ne plus être avec lui, je me suis demandé si je ne suis jamais avec mon âme soeur. Et je suis devenu triste. Vous voyez, depuis que je suis gamin, j'ai soif de mon âme soeur. Je savais et comprenais profondément que quelqu'un vivant était une autre personne que je comprenais au-delà du physique. Et, quand nous nous serions rencontrés, nous comprendrions.



Je pensais que cela s'était passé avec cet homme. C'est pourquoi je suis resté et c'est pourquoi j'ai habité.



Cependant, j'écoutais une vidéo de motivation ce matin, qui parlait de nos meilleurs jours sont à venir. Ce qui m'amène à la loi d'ici et maintenant, le progrès ne se produit qu'en ce moment. Je ne peux pas regarder vers le passé et regarder vers le futur pour être heureux et content. Je peux seulement être ici maintenant.




4. La responsabilité se manifeste à travers des actions.

Comme je l'ai mentionné plus tôt, je préparais la guerre avec lui parce que je savais que je pouvais le rejoindre. Le mal que je voulais lui faire mal. Lorsque le professeur de yoga a lu The Law of Resposibility, il m’a rappelé que je devais assumer la responsabilité de la façon dont je me retrouvais dans cette situation et la responsabilité que je prendrais à l’avenir.



Cet homme et moi avons une histoire dans laquelle il nous poursuit et que je le fuis. Ainsi, cela a créé l’atmosphère que nous nous montrons l’amour à travers lui après moi et que je ne sois pas vraiment présent. Honnêtement, une partie de moi-même avait peur d’être vraiment présente parce que j’avais peur qu’une fois la poursuite terminée, nous aussi.



La personne avec qui je veux être ne devrait pas avoir à me chasser pendant quelques mois, car je verrai leur vrai cœur, leurs actions bienveillantes et leur aura rayonnante. Je n’ai pas constamment peur de lui et je cours. Je n’ai pas besoin d’être convaincu d’être avec quelqu'un parce que cela crée un terrain fertile pour les comportements malsains. Et qu'est-ce que l'amour, si nous ne pouvons pas l'exprimer par de bonnes actions?

4 More ways that I have applied The Laws of Karma to a recent break-up.

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If you are not up to speed with the latest article that I wrote before this, please check it out? It will enlighten you about what I am about to elaborate on.


I recently went through a break-up and I have found The 12 Laws of Karma really helpful.


Here are 4 more ways that I have applied these laws to what I am going through:


1. I participated, too.

Since hearing these twelve laws again, I have become obsessed with them as we can apply them to everything in life. When I first read over them after hearing them in that yoga class, I landed on The Law of Creation- Life doesn’t just happen. It requires our participation.


As I mentioned beforehand, my Ex courted me by chasing me for a few months. During those months, I made myself out to be the victim as though there was nowhere to run but into his arms. Being reminded that I have participated in this, is empowering. I can/ will say no moving forward, no matter what gift he sends me, billboard he puts up or song he writes for me.



2. It’s time to practice what I’ve been preaching.

I had a lightbulb moment during a SoulCycle class: I am a beautiful, strong and kind women; I deserve to be treated accordingly. Then I read The Law of Giving and Hospitality- If you believe something to be true, then sometime in your life you will be called to demonstrate it.


If I truly believe that I am worthy of genuine respect and kindness. Then, now is the time to practice it. Not when someone is treating me well but when I have to walk away from someone who has treated me the opposite of how I should be treated. Standing firm in how I think I should be treated is demonstrating that I deserve to be treated like a strong and beautiful woman.


3. Forgiveness is the ultimate peace.

As I mentioned in the last article, when I was hurt by his actions, I declared war. I swore that I would prove to him that he was wrong and I wanted to get even. I started plotting and scheming, feeling like the opposite of a Yogi. I had developed so much hate that nothing else but revenge would suffice.


Forgiveness seemed like a fallacy until I was in that same yoga class and the teacher read The Great Law- As you sow, so shall you reap. I began to envision how much hate I could inflict on him and realized that all that hate would hurt me more than him because I would have to think of the revenge, inflict it and then remember what I had done. Is life worth putting out all that negative energy? After this thought, I decided to choose forgiveness. Forgiveness so that I can clearly cut the chord between him and I.


4. It takes enough times that it takes to move forward.

I’m not sure why I feel such a strong connection to him but one day, I will understand. However, a connection to a relationship that is toxic is a negative one.


Reading The Law of Change- history repeats itself until we learn the lessons that we need to change, reminded me that I may not have been able to successfully keep a distance from him before. But, hopefully I will be able to now. Otherwise I will keep experiencing the pain that I felt in that relationship. Being in this relationship has been a major lesson of my life and I had to learn these lessons so that I could see the change that I needed to make before I moved on. Lessons that I am still learning and reflecting on.