Life is about growth. Learning, unlearning and then sometimes re-learning. In the last past year, I have had to break down a lot of emotional abuse I have endured growing up, saw how I enabled people who continued to abuse me and how I contributed to the bigger picture of those who took from me as opposed to had genuine reciprocal relationships.

It has been a journey that I didn’t ever know would take place but when I found myself in the same cycle of attracting narcissists, I had to look within. I had to start from the beginning regarding relationships. I had to re-learn what a healthy relationship is and create new habits so that I wasn’t falling into the same trap.

You see, I had always believed that if I had a good attitude and gave more than I got then I would be loved but that is a false statement that led to me attracting emotionally abusive people in my life.

The biggest lesson that I have learnt is about forgiveness. Self-forgiveness and then forgiveness for others. Here is what I have learnt about it:

1. Forgiveness is not a pass.

2. Forgiveness is freedom and a gateway to peace.

3. Forgiveness is not about anyone else but me.

4. Forgiveness sometimes means saying a firm, ‘no.’

5. Forgiveness is usually not easy and requires practice.

6. Forgiveness is worth working towards.

7. Forgiveness is about uplifting the vibration, little-by-little at a time.

8. Forgiveness is a form of a healthy boundary.

9. Forgiveness allows us to process and be present.