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There is something beautiful about you

And it makes me want to hide

You see, before there was ever a ‘you’

I had a lot of pride.

I promised myself that next time jealousy would not take over me

So when it arises, I run

And when I run, I leave you behind

I see you. I see you trying to pull me in.

But I don’t know what you are pulling me in to.

A healthy relationship or a game?

It’s hard to tell because I am not good at winning.

I’m used to giving my all and having it being taken from me.

Right under my feet.

I’m used to crying next to a bottle of wine

and wondering how any of it could’ve been.

So, I find myself questioning if this is different?

Could you be the one that they say you are?

It could all make sense until one day...

It doesn’t.

I’ve felt the jealousy, anger, betrayal, rage, passion and good sex.

Show me how we can rise above this time

So that you don’t become just another ex.

Show me that they were right about you.

And, that it was always meant to be you.

Because on my end I have no idea what to do.

Maybe I’ll keep running every time that we make eye contact, out of fear.

Or, maybe one day, I will pull you near.