I have made no secret about how I was raised. Being brought up in a narcissist family household held up by The Matriarch in my family scarred me internally. It was only when I was an adult that I decided to take responsibility for my life, seek out help and heal.

Upon healing, I discovered many things mostly that I had a skewed idea of Love. I had a belief that love was tit-for-tat and that I had to do something or prove myself to be loved.

This belief-system had an effect on my self-esteem but allowed me to attract narcissistic personalities into my life because I would do anything to be loved.

As I have broken this cycle and healed from it, I am embracing health now in all forms. Particularly when it comes to friendships, romantic relationships and relatives. I have no room for selfish people and self-centered relationships with people who are around to take and not give back.

Here are 3 forms of love that I am embracing in my life:

1. Healthy boundaries.

Having been raised in a family where the adults were usually the ones who broke boundaries under the guise of it being for my best interest, I had an unhealthy idea of boundaries. It could be for many reasons but I can clearly tell you that my former fear of losing people that I love if I spoke up for myself, was very real.

In fact, I would avoid being honest about what I was comfortable and not comfortable with because I had a need to be loved and accepted. These days, however, I am focused on speaking up for myself and once I do, if I receive backlash, hate or called names, I know that it is from a place of selfishness from who I am asking it of.

People who love me in a healthy way will acknowledge when I feel a boundary has been broken and if not, I would rather they are not in my life.

2. Not needing to prove my love.

Love is all around and all of us are worthy of it. One of the biggest lies that I used to believe is that love requires hurdles, obstacles and me changing who I am to be loved. Believing this has caused me a lot of un-necessary pain.

What a different world it would be if children knew that no matter how they did in school, they would still be loved. Instead of their parents’ love being held hostage by school marks, what career they have chosen or whether they live life how they want them to or not.

We can guide one another and put up boundaries to protect ourselves but love is for everyone and we don’t need to go through challenges and pain to receive it.

3. Living in alignment.

Have you ever seen the numbers 444 after questioning whether you would be okay or not? I have. An example of this is when I had just moved from New York to Los Angeles and was in a lot of debt. I had saved up every cent I had and had a bunch of back payments on my credit cards to move. I had to get out of New York City.

Once I arrived, I would see Angel numbers everywhere and they guided me. Seeing them allowed me to trust the biggest source of love: God. And, surrendering to this Higher Power helped me understand the power of love. It can heal, liberate, encourage, support and motivate. That is what I want to focus on.