Although I have spoken (through this blog) about the lessons that I have learned while I dated one of my famous exes, I have made a promise to never betray or extort what we had.
At this moment in time, an ex that is in the public light, is being ‘me too-ed’ and while my opinions of whether he is capable of being a monster or not is none of my business, I have chosen to stay quiet about what he has put me through.
Here are 3 reasons why I will never publicly expose or shame my famous ex:
1. I left with more than I came in with.
Even though things turned out the way that they did, I gained more than I lost. I admit that he put my through the emotional wringer but I chose what to receive from having him in my life.
I left the relationship with a deeper understanding of myself and that I will no longer be a ‘narcissistic supply’ to someone who has deeper issues than I am aware of. I can walk away having learned one of the most valuable lessons someone/ something has ever taught me. For that I am grateful.
2. Life is full of choices.
I have had my moments post this relationship and others, where I have wanted to tell everyone how my former partner hurt me and call them names. Sometimes I have succumb to this temptation; only to leave me feeling bitter and empty.
This chapter of my life is about healthy choices. Ones that lead to a successful life, that I can be proud of.
Publicly bashing my ex does not fit into my definition of the type of life that I want to live. I choose health, light and happiness; not bitterness and rehashing the past.
3. It all boils down to forgiveness.
One of the reoccurring themes of my life has been forgiveness. Can I forgive my Father for leaving us? Can I forgive my Mother for reminding me of my imperfections? Can i forgive my high school bully for leaving an imprint of insecurity on me?Can I forgive my ex-fiancé for cheating on me? Can I forgive myself for staying in relationships that weren’t healthy? Can I forgive my ex for putting me last?
The list goes on and on. But, what I do know is that, forgiveness starts with me. It’s easier said than done but the cycle of betrayal and hurt ends when I decide for it to end. I can remind myself and The World of how he promised to be there for me, cheated on me, lied to me, stalked me, wrote songs about me and wouldn’t let me go. But, that is a story of victim hood.
He is who he is and that is independent of me and my thinking. I can’t change him and so I let him be. I only want to focus on things that elevate my spirit and help me grow; none of that involves betraying someone that I once loved very deeply.