This past Summer was a time when I grew as a person and decided to let some people go from my life.There is/was nothing wrong with them; however, I chose to stand in self-love, truth and maturity. And, those who didn’t support this growth or were threatened by it, I decided to love and let go.

I have no hard feelings about it; however, every now and then, I come across someone who I no longer want to be a part of circle of trustees. Some are at peace with my decision and others have found it difficult to accept. It may sound outrageous to not be angry at some people that I have decided to release from my life. But, something that I am practicing everyday is forgiveness and taking responsibility for the dynamics of relationships as much as I can because I played a part, too.

There is one person, in particular, who is trying to bring out the nastiness in me. What she doesn’t know is that it won’t happen. I am practicing speaking from a place of love and compassion- I might not always get it right. But, that is the overall goal.

This woman, my former friend, is teaching me so much. Here are 4 things that I am learning from her negative behaviour towards me:

1. Haters are teachers, too.

If we lived a life where everyone loved us, that wouldn’t be living. We need people who oppose and dislike us because it makes us stronger. Of course, there are extreme circumstances and I am not speaking of any violence or extreme bullying. However, some negative people come into our lives merely to make us stronger and help us grow into our authentic selves. We can learn many things from haters, one of them can be how to become stronger when people do not like us.

2. People are like projectors, what they think about is what they project onto others.

When I was friends with her, she would speak negatively of others. I found myself tired by continually having to lighten up the mood or help her see a different perspective of someone else or herself. Ultimately, I gave up! She taught me a lesson that I keep learning over-and-over: people who are negative and upset with themselves and their lives project that onto others. There is only so much that one can do with a person who perceives things in a negative light, they are the way they are and you can influence them but if they want to change, it has to come from them.

3. They show up when you are either at your worst or your best.

I have recently noticed a trend of this former friend and others who I have let go of in my life. When I was at my worst, they would show up and they would also show up when I was at my best. You might ask, is that not friends are for? I would answer, ‘Yes’; however, the energy that they bring negates their intention. This particular friend would show up after I had gone through a break-up and tell me that I should’ve known better than to date who I had dated. She would also show up when I was doing well, like booking a new yoga-teaching gig, so that she could get something out of it: free classes and merchandise.

Interestingly, when I was just okay and working on myself and my business, she would disappear. I understood clearly that her intentions were not to be a friend but to use me to feel better about herself by taking what she could or using her words to harm me.

4. They help you to learn how to stand up for yourself.

Every time that I see this same former friend, she makes a snide comment about me or someone that I know (in front of me). It is clearly to get a reaction out of me; however, I am at the point in my life where I am done with drama and lowering my self-worth to the level of another. Dealing with her is teaching me that I can choose the path of drama and negativity. Or, I can choose to elevate my actions and choose the path of self-reflection and betterment. Fighting people and getting into arguments is a choice; one that I am done making with people- particularly people who I have chosen not to have in my life anymore.