Healing is a process and a lifelong journey. I’m not here to tell you that I know it all and I am better than you. I am human and, just like you, I have had my ups-and-downs. That is life and I question anyone who thinks otherwise about this.

This past year has been one of the most revealing and healing times of my life because I have been uncovering abusive patterns in relationships, families and work situations. With that decision to heal comes the point when I had to be honest with myself about everything, my past, the present and what I want for the future.

Here are 9 things that I had to admit to myself when I decided to heal:

1. You might find yourself alone a lot of the time but you are not alone. God is with you.

2. Some people may become jealous and think you are better but that is their projection.

3. You will experience a great deal of regret from the past of how you dealt with some things, forgive yourself.

4. You might not want to do the work but it always pays off.

5. Intention is not enough. Our actions have to match our intent, too.

6. You might lose some friends and family members for different reasons. Not everyone is meant to come with you to where you are going. It is okay.

7. Growth is not for the faint-hearted and irrational.

8. People who want to silence you, do not deserve you.

9. Breathe and forgive. Forgive yourself, others and anything else that is shackling you. You deserve freedom and that comes once you have been honest with yourself.