Written by Hali Tsotetsi. Image from Unsplash.
As a child of divorce, my inner-child will always remember the years that my parents got divorced and when my father decided to leave and never return. It is a deep wound. But, the great thing about life is that we are constantly healing.
We may have triggers but having tools and techniques to cope with those wounds can help us overcome and deal with our inner demons.
Although, I sometimes feel triggered by fear of being abandoned. I use these tools to choose a healthier way of life:
1. Affirmations.
Every morning, I listen to affirmations. I have done this practice for the past ten years. When I started, I didn’t believe that I was worthy and capable of having a healthy life. I didn’t know a life of self-belief.
Over time, that has drastically changed. While I still have remnants of that inner-child who feels the need to be validated by others. I remind myself that validation comes from me. That is only something that I can give to myself. Yes, it feels good to receive compliments from others but that is icing on the cake.
What I believe about myself is the foundation.
2. By tapping.
One of my triggers is being ignored by people that I care about. It is a symptom of being neglected and left by the two people that were meant to be there for me when I was a child and needed them.
Sometimes I will catch myself in relationships and friendships expecting the other person to communicate the way that I do and if they don’t, I feel my inner-child draw up scenarios of being left again and, it can feel horrifying.
That’s when I sit still and practice my tapping where you tap on different pressure points in the body whilst repeating healing affirmations. It reminds me to be present and validates my feelings.
3. Different methods of therapy.
While I believe tapping is a method of healing, there are many other forms of therapy. The traditional therapist/ patient type of therapy has become popularized in western society. However, there are many other forms of esoteric practices.
Reiki, tarot, spiritual guidance, physical activity and yoga have all helped me validate my self-worth and support me in my healing process.
You don’t have to see a traditional therapist to develop awareness, embark upon your healing process and step into your true worthiness. Sometimes it can start with journaling or with a run in the park surrounded by nature.
I continue to heal my inner child through different modes of healing and some days I hear her pull me back to a little girl who craves her parent’s attention. Which is when I ground myself, remind her that she doesn’t need to live in fear, is worthy of health and, can let go of the past.