What I wish I knew before my first break-up

Image by Getty images  

Image by Getty images  

During my first breakup, I remember feeling like I'd failed. Feeling confused by the fact that I loved someone so much but nothing good had come out of us being together for a while. I felt exhausted by drama and heartache.

I don't think I would have resisted the change that was inevitable if I had heard the following before my first breakup:

1. You'll be OK.

In the midst of heartache, it is very easy to think that life without the person you love is not worth living but that is completely untrue. You were alive before you met that person, and you'll be alive after that person leaves your life. Sometimes the emotions that love can put you through seem overwhelming, but they do pass, and one day they'll be a memory.

2. There are too many people alive to be stuck with someone that isn't on the same page.

Once you've given someone a lot of effort and love, it seems hard to walk away. It may feel like all of that time was all a waste. However, what is a true waste is giving someone your love and effort that doesn't want it. There's someone, out of billions of people alive, who wants and who will accept your love.

3. If it's meant to be, it will be.

Forcing things to work won't make them. Fighting and denying the truth around you only exhausts you and leaves you feeling disappointed. You'll be more content if you accept things for what they are. Working against the forces of reality won't help you achieve anything progressive.

4. The other person has a say too.

Two people make up a relationship, not one! If your partner wants out, he wants out. You can't change his decision. Sometimes it may hurt your ego when someone decides to leave or break up with you, but there are only so many times you can convince someone to love without you looking crazy.

5. "Behind rejection is God's protection."

This is one of my favorite sayings because it is so true! The sooner someone tells you that you aren't what he wants, the quicker you can move on and find someone who will tell you that you are.

6. The drama only goes on for as long as you allow it to go on.

Yes, breakups can be messy and dramatic, but only if you allow them to be that way. You're the only one who can leave the petty drama behind if you want to leave it behind. If you want the drama, stay in it! If you don't, let it go! It may seem hard to let it go, but what's harder is being run down by unnecessary drama that doesn't lead to anything positive.