4 Things that I learnt from dating my stalker.


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Out of respect for my current relationship, I was going to keep this matter private as my loyalty lies with my current partner. However, I want to revisit the past for a moment to share what I learnt from dating my stalker sometime ago.

A little while ago, I ended up dating someone who (I came to find out) had been following me and calling me off of ‘no-number’ for 3 years. I broke up with him because I noticed that he had controlling and secretive ways so when the truth came out, I asked myself many questions. Mostly, how could this happen to me? The truth is that it can happen to anyone because the people hunt out their prey and, once they decide that you are the one to hunt down, that is that. They will become who they think you want them to be so that you will end up with them.
I hope that this story helps someone who is going through what I went through or is currently going through it.
This is what I learnt from dating my stalker:

1. Trust your intuition.
It pains me to say that there were tell-tale signs. People would say things like, ‘he is obsessive towards you’ and, ‘be careful around him’. One night, two years ago, we went on our first date and he walked me home, knowing exactly where I lived without me telling him. I questioned whether I had told him or not; only to remember that I hadn’t. You might ask, why didn’t she remember if she told him or not? Which strengthens my point. My intuition questioned how he knew; however, I brushed it off and thought, he would never follow me home. Everytime that I forget, I am reminded that intuition is the way that God/The Universe speaks to us. So, when a little voice in your head says, ‘hmmmm’ or ‘interesting?’ Pay attention! It could save your life.

2. If it’s too good to be true, it probably is.
When I dated my stalker, he would always say the right thing. I found it weird that he would always say exactly what I needed to hear. You might ask, what is wrong with that? The answer is that sometimes the right answer all the time is inauthentic. It got to the point where I felt as though he was only telling me what I wanted to hear so that I wouldn’t leave him. I also noticed that he was overly kind and considerate to me but not to others. Which, made me question his motives. If someone seems too nice to you but has difficulty being the same with others, it is something to be concerned about.

3. Don’t blame yourself.
When I found out that I had dated someone who had studied me, stalked me and had been calling me for three years, it was tough. The toughest part about it was how idiotic I felt. I looked back to the numerous amount of times that he showed who he really was but I chose to ignore it. Sometimes, it still stings when I remember little things that showed who he was. However, blaming myself won’t lead to progress. I decided to progress through forgiveness and understanding. Some lessons are tough ones so that we remember what we have to for the rest of our lives, or for until we forget after a long time.

4. Love is real.
The irony in me ending up in a relationship is quite humorous as, when I entered it I was madly in love with someone else. My intentions of entering the relationship were inauthentic. I always knew that ‘my stalker’ had liked me more than I liked him so I tried to convince myself to be with him. So, The Universe matched my inauthenticity with another’s. In no way, shape or form was it my fault; however, if I didn’t have the need to be adorned and pampered at a time when I was in love with someone else then, I might not have dated him. Thank God that I made it safe and sound. After all of this happened, I kept asking ‘How did he not try to kill me or attack me?’ I don’t know the answer to that question. One thing that I do know is that when being real and authentic is protection. It protects you from people who are fake and vibrations that are low. I choose and will always choose to be authentic about my feelings and who is in my life because needing people around who fuel the ego is dangerous as they probably want something from you. And, you might have no idea what that something is.