We are in the prime time of sensationalism. We live in a time when those who get negative attention are paid more airtime than those who are positive.

So, naturally, that has shaped people who want to get other’s attention to be inclined to spew negativity over positivity. Unfortunately, this is all aspects of careers, platforms and industries.

Gone are the days when what people sell speaks more volumes than the attention that it receives. These days, if you make a negative statement, it draws traction. Which brings me to what I would like to address in this article, the 3 reason why I don’t follow or trust dating coaches:

1. They often speak from a place of jadedness.

Have you ever noticed how most dating coaches are still single? That is a huge red flag! Yes, I am currently single but I don’t have a career off of telling people how to attract a soulmate or partner when I, myself, have not perfected it.

I used to watch a famous dating coach who gave me insight into how men think when I needed to hear it. And although I am grateful for that, he started to speak about women in a negative light and not constructive light. I admit wholeheartedly that I have had my moments of feeling entitled as a woman; however, I have dated men who have behaved similarly.

People are different. When we start to say ‘men behave like this...’ or, ‘women behave like that’, we are not leaving space for individuality. You could miss out on that special person because you wrote them off based on past negative experiences.

2. If we date based on stereotypes, we will stay single.

It’s easy to put people into boxes so that we try to avoid heartbreak again. I have heard a lot of these dating coaches speak from a place of hurt and a ‘never again’ mentality. To piggyback off of my last statement, men are not the same and neither are women.

I was listening to another dating coach talk about Jennifer Lopez’s break-up and said Alex Rodriguez left her because she ‘looked 20-something but felt 50 inside’. I shook my head in disappointment. While obviously that is his opinion, I saw that statement as superficial.

There has been a rise on both male and female’s side of dating coaches who promote their own gender as the better one and that the other sucks or needs to do better. Again, it boils down to individuality. And until we heal from our past hurt, we will keep ourselves from finding this out.

3. Now is the time to heal and unite.

There is only so much someone else can do for us but our happiness, healing and lives are in our own hands. It’s easy to watch an over-the-top video of someone who targets your insecurities and traumas for likes and views, to receive advice from. They are designed to be that way.

However, are these videos genuinely helping us (women and men) to move forward and heal. After recently seeing a well-known dating coach and influencer having been found out to have cheated on his wife, multiple times, I was not surprised. There is something very disingenuous about people who tell you what to do and what you would like to hear.

Healing requires us taking self-accountability and until we have healed from past trauma, we are not ready to be in a committed relationship because we will take that trauma into the relationship with us or attract others who embody the same energy.

As we enter the age of Aquarius, gone are the days when people can deceive followers or subscribers for a paycheck because the truth is easily exposable these days. There is no need, for me, to follow those who only speak for outrage or shock because sometimes honesty won’t get a thousand likes but needs to be said anyway.