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I am a firm-believer in everything happening for a reason. That doesn’t mean that you sit around waiting for things to happen to you, it means that all your energy, effort and work can lead you to meet particular people at particular moments or that if you didn’t land that ‘dream job’, it’s because it might not have been so dreamy after all.
Everything is working to support us. Whether you want to live a lifestyle that is healthy, full of love and gratitude; or, want to live a life that lacks health, love and gratitude, The Universe will support your decision. Because what we reap, we sow. Not applying to everything! But, in most scenarios, the seeds that you plant today will begin to grow and manifest in your life.
Looking back on certain things in my life, I am so grateful that everything has turned out the way that it has because life is good. I do believe that things continue to conspire for my good; however, these are the 4 best things that I am glad never worked out:
1. My love life.
The ‘post-breakup’ me would not be happy to admit this but I am glad that every relationship that I have had didn’t work out because I believe that my soulmate is alive, healthy and is open to the idea of a loving and healthy relationship. I am forever an optimist and I believe wholeheartedly that love is real. I believe that every heartbreak I have been through had a purpose. All of my romantic partners have taught me something. Whether it was how to let go, to embrace darkness, to be patient or to genuinely love, all of my former partners helped carve who I am today and I am grateful because when I meet my soulmate, I can share the best things that I have learnt in love with him. All of that couldn’t have happened without them.
2. A baby.
I have been very vocal about having a miscarriage two years ago. Even though it was painful, it was necessary. This is how I see it: she (the baby) came into my life to teach me something and I believe it was how to stand up for myself and those that I loved. Before this happened, I had difficulty being strong and making firm-decisions. However, after I told my partner that I was pregnant and he disappeared, I decided to keep her and fight for love without caring about the consequences. I took a real stand for the first time in my life and, although I lost her, it felt great to stand firm in what is right and follow through. I made a promise to God that no matter what, I would always take a stand and do what was right- no matter what backlash I might face or what I might lose as a result.
3. My ‘dream’ job.
Almost three years ago, I was promoted to General Manager of a restaurant in New York. I had been a manager beforehand and, although it wasn’t my ideal job, it came with the chance to network with influential people and work in an affluent neighbourhood. However, I had three problems: The Owner that I worked for was inexperienced and had a bad temper, my Co-Worker mistreated me and undermined me (as a woman) and the pay fell extremely short. One day, I was in a yoga class and The Yoga Teacher said, ‘If you asked for something that you thought you wanted and you don’t want it anymore, you can always send it back’ and a lightbulb went off in my head. I could send back that job. So, I gave my resignation and decided to teach more yoga and wait on tables for a living. One of the best decisions that I have ever made.
4. Having my dad around my entire childhood.
I am proud today to say that I can see The Divine reason as to why my Father disappeared when I was 15. I spent many years taking his disappearing personally and hating him, only to realize that hating him was ridding me of living a full life that could belong to me if I chose to forgive. After the first time that I almost got married, I knew that I had some serious healing to do and it was more than anything to do with my romantic relationship, I had feelings of resentment towards men that I needed (and still need) to heal. After a therapy session, I wrote my Dad a forgiveness letter and I realized that I was meant to be raised exactly the way that I was. My Dad was well off and him leaving meant that a lot of the money went too. But, truthfully, I am glad that I didn’t grow up with a lot of money. Money is not bad if you are solidified in yourself, which I was not. Not having a lot of money growing up gave me drive and work ethic because I know that it is possible to achiever goals and that, if I want it, it can be mine no matter where I come from or what I look like.