As we approach the end of the year, I am beyond grateful for every single that has happened to me. I have learnt that life happens for me so that I can grow, transform, understand and enhance my life and the love for myself, as well as those around me.

This year I have learnt what it truly means to live in abundance. Abundance is gratitude, love and happiness for the present moment so that we can create awareness and consciousness that helps us evolve.

Before this year, I used to think that abundance meant money. So, I went out looking for money, success and men who were successful because I thought abundance was an external force. However, this year, I have learnt that abundance is not about external satisfaction, it is about internal acceptance. Within that acceptance, we raise our vibration to a state of consciousness creating gratitude, love and elevation from within outward.

Here are 4 blockages that I have learnt to release so that I can stay in abundance:

1. I am a victim.

In the middle of July, I woke up to a stalker in my house. This man had been following me without my knowledge and had professed his love for me the night before. After his confession, I asked him to leave me alone; however, he refused and snuck his way into my premises. It happened so early in the morning that I didn’t put 2+2 together until after I had called the police and had him arrested. As I told people this story, there was shock, dismay and lots of questioning. The biggest question people asked was, ‘You have so many stalkers, what are you doing to attract them?’ This question infuriated me because it took me back to when I was a kid and a few men would to look at my body after which the blame would be placed on me if I spoke up against them looking at me. It made me feel like a victim. Yes, we are given life to live; however, I am learning to rephrase questions from blame and victimization to taking responsibility. Yes, things happen to us that might not be our fault; however, how do we take action and move forward, learn and grow from the situation? From this particular situation, I learnt that some inexplicable things happen to us and we might not know why they happen. But, it is our responsibility to stay as level-headed and aware as possible. I saw this opportunity as a chance for me to practice compassion and understanding towards someone with mental illness. I dropped the legal charges against him, I prayed for him and I released my anger towards men.

2. Low vibrational sayings.

We are all guilty of this. Using words like, ‘men suck’, ‘women are golddiggers’ or, ‘nothing good ever happens to me’. These sayings block us from elevating on a higher level. They literally hold anything good from coming because if you believe men or women are negative, how do you expect someone great, loving and kind to come into your life? And, when they do, how will you treat them if you can’t trust them? I used to have a belief that all men cheat or are incapable of being faithful so I kept attracting men who would cheat on me or disappear/show up when they pleased. The most dramatic version of this was my last relationship, where I was involved with a man who had little-to-no respect for women (as a whole) because he would parade around naked female bodies in his videos and feed into the idea of objectifying women. He has many other great qualities so I would allow this behaviour because my subconscious would repeat, will you find a man who won’t demean women in some manner or who can stay faithful towards you? These thoughts kept me in fear until one day, it got so bad. He was away and I was looking at his IG stories because I missed him and saw him with two women frolicking on a yacht, their behaviour I will not disclose but was very disconcerting. The pain of this memory is forever imprinted in my heart, which is sad but great! Because it is a reminder to keep my thoughts about men positive and to not align myself with men or people who are disrespectful towards me or others. There are great men out there who are faithful and considerate towards women or people, in general. Remembering this belief, is helping retrain my subconscious and protect me from toxic cycles like this happening again.

3. Disbelief

I have always been a positive-thinker because I know the power of what we tell ourselves. Both my Grandfathers were great men and one of them ( Martin) loved the saying, ‘Every cloud has a silver-lining.’ So, maybe it is in my DNA but one thing that I know is that it feels way better to laugh than to be sad and upset. Sometimes being sad is necessary; however, I want to focus on positivity as much as possible. Recently, I started one of the biggest ventures that I have ever began. At times, it is overwhelming but I keep reminding myself that negativity leads to lack. I want to believe in this project as much as I can because where I go is where I am meant to be. The Universe has a plan and I am stepping fully into the path of trust, acceptance and surrender. I want to work as hard as I can and then let go of what I can’t control. Because trying to control everything creates a habit of disbelief and lack. Everything is actually how it is meant to be and I want to accept and remember that.