The 4 Reasons why I am grateful for my haters.


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We all know at least one. They might be a friend, sibling, parent, colleague, boss or anyone else in our life who gets in their own way and thus, gets in the way of others.

These people are haters and they will never be happy if you are doing well or are at peace in your life.

When I was younger, I spent so much time focused on changing these people, forcing them to be different or trying to enlighten them. However, what I have learnt is that some people (no matter how many times you try) are drawn to the negative. They feel low and their mission is to bring you down to their level.

Here are the 4 reasons why I am grateful for these people in my life:

1. They help set boundaries.

It’s easy to set boundaries with someone who understands why you are setting them. However, the most challenging people to set boundaries with are haters because boundaries are usually their weak point. Being able to say, ‘I will not let your negativity destroy me, my day or my life’ is one of the most solid boundaries that you can set with someone. Because it reminds you of your worth and if you will let someone negative get in the way of what you believe about yourself.

2. They can help you with your drive.

Sometimes the best teachers are the worst kind of people. Sometimes it takes learning a lesson from someone who is mean and unkind to sink a message into our brains and memories. Sometimes it takes someone not believing in you for you to believe in yourself. Not everyone will be kind to you but will that stop you? Or, give you drive? That, is your choice.

3. They can help you get stronger.

I recently was reminded of this lesson. We can call ourselves strong until we are faced with a challenge that requires strength. In the midst of that challenge, are we strong? It’s easy to preach about strength as a teacher; however, my haters who I have literally heard call me evil in my presence prove to me how strong I am. Lowering our standards to meet those of our haters is weak. Strength means taking the high road when we want to give in the most.

4. They remind me where to focus my attention.

I taught a yoga class a few years ago and a practitioner, mid-way through class, called me a nasty name and left the studio. I was a twenty-five year-old wishy-washy young adult who was so bothered by what people thought of her, at that time. After she yelled at me, thirty people were left in class and I made a decision: I could either focus on the negative woman that left or focus on the people who have chosen to stay in my class. At that moment, I chose the thirty people who remained and promised myself to continue to do so in my life. I promised myself that I would always focus on the kind and positive people in my life and take power away from negative people because it’s my choice to keep them around, physically and mentally, or not.