3 Things that I have learnt about toxic masculinity.

Image from Unsplash

Image from Unsplash

Last week, I was practicing yoga at a local yoga studio and a man placed his mat right in front of mine, when there was a lot of space around me. This prevented me from seeing myself in the front mirrors- some yoga studios have mirrors in the front so that you can correct your own alignment during class. 

As this fellow practitioner began to practice, he kept looking at me throughout class so that I would notice him. At one point, I wanted to leave but then I remembered one of the biggest lessons that I am learning. That, too much masculinity within a person creates toxicity in their lives. He is merely suffering. 

When we think of masculine energy, we associate it with gender. However, all of us (energetically) are made of masculine and feminine. Having more of one creates imbalance in ourselves, life and The World. In eastern philosophy, they believe that balance is having equilibrium between masculine and feminine energy. 

So, this is not only for men. Women are included too. 

This is what I have recently learnt about toxic masculinity: 

1. It can be tiring. 

I recently went through a well-needed break-up. When we broke up, I blamed him and was angry at him for living in his toxic masculine energy. My continual blame towards him didn’t feel right because I have learnt and know that to move forward, I must work on myself. I questioned how I attracted someone like this into my life. At the time that I manifested him into my life, I was concerned with money. Making money, building my businesses and creating a future. Which, is valid. 

However, when we spend too much time on money, work and action, we live only in our masculine energy. Balance is created by taking time for ourselves. Otherwise, we will tire ourselves out. 

2. It creates self-sabotage.

Have you ever come across someone who is so stubborn & forceful, who wants to take on everything and has difficulty taking advice from others? If you have, you are not the only one. I recently let go of someone in my life who embodies these characteristics. 

My ultimate reason for ending our relationship was that, people who are headstrong, Ego-driven and have difficulties letting go, create problems in their own lives and other people’s lives because they are usually the person who is in their own way. Until they learn to let go, surrender, be compassionate and be at peace with themselves, there is nothing that you can do for them. It has taken me learning this lesson over and over but, I have finally learnt it. 

3. It ruins relationships

There are only so many times that you can be in a relationship with someone who is living primarily in their masculine energy until you start to feel run-over, run-down and as though you need protection because too much masculinity can create abusive behaviour in a partnership. 

In order to have a healthy connection with another, one must be willing to admit when they have caused someone pain. Which, if someone is living in their masculine, will find difficulty doing. An abundance of masculinity usually causes people to think that they know everything and that they are always right, which is impossible. Everyone is growing, learning and when we start to think otherwise is when we push people away with our negativity and selfish actions.