4 things that I have accepted not being okay with as a woman.


image by Getty images 


Although I do not 100% support the ‘Me too’ movement, I am a firm-believer in change. Change that was very much needed. Whether it affects your life or not, it is clear that women do not have the same privileges  as a man does because, in general, we get paid less, we are expected to look a certain way and our bodies never really belong to us. Our bodies are criticized, ogled over and stared at whether we like it or not.


Don’t get me wrong, I love being a woman; however, we have to deal with some injustices that men do not have to. And, that can translate into our relationships.

Here are 4 things that I have learnt that I don’t have to be okay with, as a woman:

1. Being played games with.

I’m not sure where this idea developed that the man that plays games with us is the one that wants us the most. Because, in games, there is always a loser. The reason why healthy relationships do not start off with game-playing is because healthy relationships require both people to be equal. We all want to be included. So this idea of ‘If I really like someone, I don’t show them’ is something that destructs a relationship because you haven’t given the other person a chance before it has even started. Being in a relationship requires honesty, trust, vulnerability and love. None of those come from playing games with the other.

2. Being disappeared on.

This could fall into ‘the games’ section; however, I think it deserves it’s own paragraph. When I was younger, I thought it was okay for someone that I was seeing to come in &out of my life as they please. However, now I know better. When we allow people to come and go as they please, every time that they leave, they take a part of us with them which is not fair to us. Yes, unconditional love is beautiful but sometimes the best kind of love is saying no. No, I won’t let you talk to me like that. No, you cannot come and go as you please. And no, I don’t feel comfortable doing that. Ultimately, you are allowed to have boundaries in a relationship because boundaries mean that you are loving yourself and you are more able to love your partner when you have started with yourself. 

3. Staring at someone else (who is attractive)in front of my presence.

A glance and a stare are two different things. I used to date a guy who would blatantly stare at other women when I was talking to him and, it hurt my feelings. I was labeled as insecure, which hurt my feelings even more. It hurt my feelings because he wasn’t paying attention to what I was saying and he was going out of his way to make feel second. As women, we are expected to go with the flow and when we don’t, we are labeled all kinds of names- which is not fair. Obviously, I wasn’t expecting him to stop looking at other attractive women completely; however, being in a committed relationship requires presence. Now that I’m older, I expect respect. Respectful people listen and look at the other person when someone is talking to them because we all want to feel and be heard.

4. Dating many people at once.

I’ve never really been a dater. However, one thing that I know for sure is that I am only interested in giving people my time who know that my time is irreplaceable. We all have different approaches of dating and being in relationships but I see so many women being okay with the fact that the person they are seeing is seeing someone else too just so that they can have someone else’s company. Which leads to them losing themselves. They are willing to say anything to a potential romantic partner to have them stick around. The truth is that, when you settle, you only devalue yourself and it’s harder to get back up after everything is done and you know that you settled for a person or circumstance that wasn’t worth it, just so that you wouldn’t be alone. If you are running away from yourself, chances are that you need to face yourself. Take yourself out, get to know yourself and learn to love yourself. Because before you know it, you’ll regret not having done that and the relationship we have with ourselves is number 1.