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Heartbreak sucks. And, it’s easy to get stuck in the monotony of life after each time it happens. However, getting stuck in this mode can set you back for life because the course of our romantic relationships can affect our mental and physical wellbeing.

If you have found yourself stuck after each heartbreak and not learning from each experience, this could be why:

1. You need to be single right now.

Iyanla Vanzant says, ‘If you can’t be with you, how can anyone be with you?’

Meaning, if you are not able to deal with yourself and all your problems, how can you expect someone else to? Unlike other people, if we don’t like ourselves, we can’t just leave. Time alone can empower you and help you grow, use it wisely!

2. You’re not connected.

Connection to The Higher Consciousness is important so that you understand the ability to surrender your pain, suffering and problems to the divine. Whether you call it God, Allah, The Universe, Jehovah or The Divine, knowing that there is something greater than you that wants the best for you helps you release and trust in the fact that you are being taken care of and then, you begin to understand that things like heartbreak happen for a reason.

3. You need boundaries.

I would love to walk around saying yes to everyone but it’s not possible. We are human and as much as there are kind and loving humans, there are humans who who are unkind and mean. If you do not have clear boundaries, people will walk all over you. Like my mom used to tell me growing up, ‘Every doormat says Welcome’. There is only so much that we can blame the person who has mis-treated us if we allowed them to do so in the first place.