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As a strong woman, I have learnt many things about being in relationships. One of the most obvious ones is patience. However, I have learnt many other things, too.
These are the five things that I believe that all strong women need to hear about relationships:
1. Be patient.
Sometimes it is not easy dealing with people, in fact dealing with some people can be frustrating and annoying. Most of us live busy lives and the last thing that we want to do is give someone another chance sometimes. But, who knows where that other chance can take you? It could be the one chance that brings you closer to someone. You will never know unless you try.
2. Boundaries are tools; not weapons.
When a lot of us think of boundaries, we think of being mean and harsh. However, without boundaries, how will you know anyone’s intentions? Boundaries don’t have to be expressed with profanity and once you have had enough. In fact, they can be mentioned as a part of who you are. What you are willing to accept and what you can handle is a part of who you are. It’s okay to express it.
3. Listen to someone else.
Honestly speaking, this is not my strong point. So, I am learning this with you. Listening requires more of being present and hearing someone out; without needing to say something back to that person. As strong women, we are so ready to fire back with an answer. However, sometimes strength means being open. Being vulnerable enough to open ourselves up to something that is different than we thought. In relationships, I have previously spent a lot of my time cutting men off who appeared to try and hurt me. Now, I am learning to not assume. To ask what someone’s intentions are. Intentions will show you where that person and relationship is headed.
4. Stay open.
The older that I get, the harder it becomes for me to stay open. It’s a daily practice. One that requires un-doing. Learning from the past and un-doing it. Un-doing the hurt, pain and the loss that makes us stronger but also makes us jaded. As strong women, sometimes we confuse strength with being closed off and guarded. However, I have to keep reminding myself that strength is about not letting the past wear you down: in your mind, in your body and in your spirit. Staying open requires strength but strength that will leave you feeling happier and more at peace towards yourself and others.
5. Love is everything.
There are many types of love: messy-love, destructive-love, tough-love, peaceful-love, respectful-love, irreplaceable love, puppy-love, baby-love, sexy-love... the list goes on-and-on.
In all of these types of love; not one is more important than the other. Every type of love has a purpose. Sometimes that every relationship will experience the broader picture of love. Love is not always roses and sunshine. Roses and sunshine is great; however, going through difficulty can prove to each other how strong your love is for one another. Obviously, there is a difference between an unhealthy relationship and a healthy one; however, healthy relationships sometimes go through trials. Trials don’t always mean giving up on a relationship. Sometimes trials mean coming out stronger than you did on the other side together.