In all the chaos and mayhem that is erupting in the world, it is becoming more difficult to hear, empathize and love one another. That’s because this is The Age of Aquarius and authenticity, freedom and, individuality is being birthed right in front of us.

It can be scary and sometimes can feel like a roller-coaster but once we allow ourselves to let go of the need to control and just ride with the tide, it is a magical shift that opens us up to authentic love.

If you had asked me in February 2020 when I was traveling the world that I would be stuck in my house for the next 15 months and hardly have any human contact, I would go crazy thinking about how I would survive. But, I have and in that, I learned so many lessons. Mostly about love.

Not the kind of love that I have been used to but a different one. The unconditional type that cannot be forced or enforced upon another but is one with others and the force of creation, God.

Here are 3 lessons that I have learned about love:

1. I don’t have to keep it for a special moment and special person.

In October 2019, a wonderful man came into my life. I had believed at the time that he was my soulmate and that will be revealed if that is the case. I had envisioned us to have a beautiful future together and would have been honored to take his last name.

Then, the universal separation happened during the lockdowns and I felt apart from him because of our personal circumstances. In the beginning, I was mad and wanted to blame him for feeling abandoned. I started to notice that I was behaving like a brat and wanting him to belong to me forgetting that no one belongs to me.

The very thing that I always preached about practicing, authentic love, I had been depriving him of. So, I set him free and although I doubt we will make our ways back to each other’s lives, I am grateful that he came into it and that we shared an authentic experience like that.

2. That love and control cannot coexist.

At the beginning of the lockdown, I found myself wanting to control him through my social media and dropping hints about how much better I am doing being apart from him and that he should be with me.

It felt exhausting so I stopped. It was almost like one day, I noticed myself doing it and playing this game where I made it impossible for him to hurt me because I had a feeling that he was about to. I was projecting my insecurities and abandonment issues onto him. After I noticed this, I decided to do a love meditation where I would send him love everyday.

I knew that he was going through a hard time and I had been making it all about myself, which was selfish of me. So, I made a promise to God to send him love everyday until he was better. A promise that I fulfilled until recently when I could tell he didn’t need it anymore.

I’m not sure what came over me to let go of the need to control him but I will tell you that it felt a lot better to love and accept him rather than hold him up to an unattainable goal.

3. That love is freedom.

I used to recite the poem by Maya Angelou that, ‘love liberates’. But, it was only this past year that I have come to truly know this meaning.

To me, it is when you would like to be with someone but would rather see them happy and be at their best than need them to be around you. I learned the very definition of this when I would miss him and hope to see him but couldn’t. My longing for him was sometimes painful but I knew that it was a pain that was of my Ego. Needing to have what I want and how I want it.

Now, when I notice the subtle voice that wants to blame him for not making more of an effort during the lockdowns, I make a promise to myself to choose lightness of body and mind. It’s heavy to hate, to calculate, to resent, to remember painful things and memories. I have always believed in traveling light.

So now when I think of him, I am grateful for him coming into my life and being a part of a beautiful story and I am forever grateful. It was mot wasted and after reflection &time, I can clearly see that he was placed into my life to help me love unconditionally. What could be better? So I send him love and whoever he ends up with will be a very lucky person; it doesn’t have to be me.