In the past year, I have had the fortune to heal immensely and I am so grateful. I used to think that healing was about what I was going through at that time until I met my most recent partner, who had narcissistic tendencies. I spent some time blaming him until I had to understand how I had allowed it and what had led me to that point.

As I started to delve deep into healing from that relationship, many things rushed to the surface and so my healing began.

We are always in the process of healing; however, we can acknowledge the how we have healed up until now.

Here are 4 generational traumas that I am healing from:

1. Thinking that femininity is weak.

We place a lot of emphasis on male toxicity and it can be detrimental to society. However, we make it seem as though women or feminine energy is weak and incapable of destruction- this is not true. Divine feminine is very powerful and once we heal ourselves, we can tap into that energy that is one of surrendering, trusting and being led.

I am proud to say that a lot of my energy is that of surrendering and allowing. I want a divine masculine energy to enter my life and take on a leadership role. So that we can create magic together, the divine feminine and the divine masculine.

2. Leaving the female cult.

I went to an All Girls’ School for most of my life and it was one of the worst experiences I have been through. I was bullied to think like others, told I was fat and when I behaved differently, I would be ridiculed. Going to this School introduced me to societal female cult that many of us promote without us acknowledging.

I, too, have been a bully and been an example of how a toxic feminine energy embodies herself and it was only until I accepted that I was a destructive force that I was able to change my ways.

I have left the group thinking that women need to always stick together or that a woman can do no wrong because it allowed me to act harmfully and accept harmful behavior.

3. Thinking that Mother’s are God’s gift to earth.

If you had told me a year ago that I would choose to not have my Mother in my life, I would’ve asked you what is wrong with you. It’s interesting that my healing has led me to forgiving my parents and deciding to no longer have my Mother in my life.

It seems like a harsh decision; however, there comes a time in our lives when we have to decide what is good for us and when we are done fighting and putting up with emotional abuse from others.

As a society, we focus on the screw-ups of our Fathers but, are too afraid to admit the harsh truths of Mothers. Most are manipulative, unkind and are trying to have their children be how they want them to be and not how God wants them to be. The meanest things that anyone has ever said to me have come from my Mother’s mouth and that is why she has tried to keep me silent by manipulating me and portraying me as a bad person. However, I am so at peace with who I am and the decisions that I have made that I have forgiven, told my truth and I let it go.

If we are really at peace with ourselves, we don’t need to force someone else to think a certain way. We love how we think and we love how others think. That is true love.

4. Loving without conditions.

I’ve briefly touched on this in former articles. I grew up in a culture that was raised to think that just because you go to a good school, are fed and dressed that you are loved. This is not true. A parents job is to do those things that I mentioned and I am sincerely grateful for it but using what we give to someone against them is not love; it is manipulation and guilt.

I have had some great examples of love from other adults and from my Father. However, as an adult, I have had to re-learn love without conditions and have decided to shed the idea that forcing someone to think and act the way that I want them to is love. Love is patient and kind- not controlling. I am glad that I have been able to see this and can embody acceptance, kindness and truth as love.

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*This is a memoir-style and is not based on facts.