3 Ways that we can heal as a collective.

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It is very clear that as a whole, we need to raise the vibration of the collective consciousness. You might have heard this before and wonder what it means. In simple terms, we resonate energetically through vibrations and the lower or higher they are, have an impact on our moods, bodies and general well-being.

It has been scientifically and spiritually-proven that the higher our vibrations are, the more positive we feel and are able to heal mentally & physically.

I used to think that it was about healing as many people as I could but over time, I have learned that I am the only that I can heal. I am responsible for my life and what I choose to put out into The World. And, of course, it’s not always to think like this but we must always try. For no one else but ourselves.

Here are 3 ways that we can heal the collective consciousness:

1. Self-forgiveness.

When I learned the power of forgiveness, it changed my life. I finally got to understand that we don’t have to keep re-creating the past in our heads. That we have the power to set ourselves free from the shackles of guilt and the past.

Although forgiveness is rewarding, we often forget that the most beneficial form is self- forgiveness. Letting go of the hurt we have cause ourselves and others to make space for healing and serenity is a huge prize that many of us have not experienced.

A great teacher of mine, Dr. Wayne Dyer used to say, ‘Feeling guilt will not do anything’. That is why we need to forgive ourselves because, as another phenomenal teacher of mine said, ‘Once we know better, we do better.’

2. By eating mindfully.

Although I was once a self-righteous vegan, I understand that it doesn’t suit my body and something like that cannot be forced. So now, instead of forcing myself to be healthy defined by a label; I do so by listening to the response my body gives me.

Health is not only about exercise and movement but also what is going into our bodies. There is a huge difference in the kind of energy we receive from different foods and this plays a role in the energy we contribute to the collective.

While it is important to notice how we receive our energy, it is also equally significant to not judge ourselves in order to ‘get it right’ because that is negative energy, too.

3. By forgiving others.

None of us are perfect and as the world becomes more divided, I see a lot of judgement, lack of understanding and condescending attitudes openly being expressed to one another.

It is vital to remember that we are human and in this experience, we are not meant to get it all right. So, we must make space for others to make mistakes and learn.

It’s time for us to drop the need to hold others to an unattainable goal with our harsh judgments and expectations through forgiveness or distancing ourselves from those who may be harmful.

3 of the hardest things to accept once we decide to align ourselves with wellness.

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When I began my journey to wellness, I thought that my life would become easy. Yes, my health and moods have become more manageable; however, there is an array of issues that come once we decide to either change our diets, take on meditation or enter the wellness industry as a professional.

Life is about learning and I believe some of these challenges to be necessary.

Here are 3 of the hardest things to accept once we decide to align ourselves with wellness:

1. We can still make mistakes.

I see a lot of perfectionism in the wellness community and almost a sense of god-like behavior from those in it. And, I suffered from it, too. I had to humble myself immensely so that I could speak to people and teach others from a place of understanding and non-judgment.

Once we accept that we can and probably will make mistakes once we decide to change our lives for the better, it eases judgement from ourselves and prevents us from placing it on others.

We are supposed to make mistakes in life, they can be some of our best lessons.

2. That self-forgiveness is important.

When I decided to stop drinking in 2013 for an inevitable amount of time to work on myself, I felt a lot of memories of my past resurface. They were often very painful and some of them how I had hurt others.

Sometimes, the pain was so overwhelming that it would leave me in tears lying on the floor of a yoga studio. I had to learn self-forgiveness and have the same compassion I was trying to have for others with myself.

In the beginning, it seems selfish. Questions like, ‘Who am I to be forgiven?’ And to that I answer, ‘Who am I not to be forgiven?’ We all deserve a second chance, a clean slate and a renewal of our hearts are in the right place.

3. That I am not the ultimate end-all and be-all for my clients and those around me.

When I began my health journey, I came across as a ‘know-it-all’. Even though I didn’t feel like it, I would speak to people in certain ways that was condescending and patronizing. The opposite agenda of my intent.

Like I mentioned before, I had to humble myself and speak to others from compassion. I understood and accepted that how I convey a message is just as important as what I am trying to say. I also learned that if someone doesn’t want to be healthy or follow my recommendations, I am not the one to punish them for it.

3 Things that I have recently accepted about myself.

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I believe that healing is a journey. One that we never stop doing because life is always in motion. And as we continue to grow and love, we often get hurt and that pain needs to be healed.

I have been very vocal about the childhood healing that I have gone through and I am open about it because that is the kind of work that we should be promoting. Because the best type of self-love is that of healing from the past.

So, as I heal, I would like to invite you to do the same so that we can leave our generational curses behind.

Through this continuous journey, I have accepted 3 things about myself:

1. I am lovable.

We can all say that we love ourselves but acting in a way that supports that is another story. It’s only until the last year do I feel like I have had relationships in my life that fully support me.

I feel like, in a weird and twisted way, the lockdowns forced me to stop putting on a face and deal with healing on a cellular level. I went from thinking that most of the people that I had in my life were supportive of me to realizing that that wasn’t true. Or if they were, it was in a way to primarily service them and use it against me.

I let go of a lot of friends, family and relationships that labeled me as ‘crazy, problematic or unlovable’ when I spoke from a place of truth. Labels that I have become too comfortable wearing because of my childhood trauma and as I have healed from my past, I see with clear eyes that I attracted people who made me feel unlovable because a part of me still felt that way.

2. I am worthy.

I have heard these three words in my daily affirmation meditation but as with the words above, it is only recently that it sunk in.

One of the biggest red flags about this was that I would overcompensate for relationships with people who wouldn’t show up the same way that I did. I can’t tell you how many times I have been love-bombed and then ghosted. As I have previously mentioned I believe that it is because I was raised in a narcissistic family household; however, I now see that this upbringing fundamentally stripped me of feeling worthy and feeling as though healthy relationships were unattainable.

When you spend your life in a constant state of cognitive dissonance around people who have known you your whole life, it is hard to feel and know that you are worthy- as I did. I struggled to feel worthy because I was surrounded by people who treated me like I wasn’t.

If you might be asking where my accountability in this is, I took it by releasing relationships with people who made me feel like I am not worthy because I am.

3. I don’t have to overcompensate anymore.

This has been one of the biggest realizations of my whole life. Truthfully, the lockdowns helped me see this. I grew up with an astounding pressure on me as I went to a private school and was constantly reminded that it was a sacrifice made for me.

The sacrifices that my parents had to go through to put me through private school, instilled a serious guilt in me because I hated school and I, myself, didn’t want to go there. It only recently dawned on me that it wasn’t done for me- it was for them. I did reap some benefits from it but being put through a harsh school system where I was constantly bullied and told that I wasn’t worthy is torture that no child should be subject to.

I used to feel like if I mentioned this that I was being ungrateful. I used to also think that if I told people how unhappy I was as a child that I was not a good person so this led to me overcompensating. I did as much as I could to run away from the fact that I wasn’t happy with how I was raised because in my culture, what your parents do for you should be enough.

As I free myself of any guilt, I accept that both can be true. I acknowledge that I was raised in abusive system that made me feel guilty about merely existing and I also accept that the people who held up this system were victims of it themselves.

I don’t have to do more for others out of guilt about anything anymore. I free myself of that feeling that I am less than or owe anyone anything. Life is a blessing and I choose to treat it as such. No more guilt, punishment or societal pressure- only alignment with God, healing and supportive people.

3 Ways that I healed my childhood trauma.

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It is no secret that I grew up in a household with what seemed like, to me, a narcissistic parent. When I was 5 years-old, my parents began the process of divorce and that is when looking back, I have memories of me being a happy and fun child to not anymore.

This article is not intended to blame anyone. It is to acknowledge what me and so many children who are raised by narcissistic Mothers go through. It can be a deep pain that, once we admit, can free us up of hurt that can run through the very fabric of who we are.
I grew up in a household of secrets, expcetations, gaslighting and un-necessary guilt all at the hands of my Mother. Who claimed it was for my betterment but it did the opposite.

As I write this, I am obviously emotional but I can guarantee you that I am in a much better place than I have ever been and this has been a long time coming but is imperative to let all children who have gone through emotional, physical or mental abuse that you are not alone.
Here are 3 ways that I healed my childhood trauma:

1. Honesty.

The first time that I went to therapy as an adult was when I had just left an abusive romantic relationship with a man my senior. I have always been attracted to older men.

When I stepped into my counsellors office, I felt broken, worn down and empty inside. Over the months of our sessions, I began to uncover that a lot of my pain regarding that relationship was barely about him and more of my upbringing. I had memories of my Mother calling me fat, ugly and saying that I was just like my Dad. Who she believed to be evil and had very little kind things to say about.

After uncovering this, I hadn’t fully grasped how much this damaged me and left an imprint on my self-esteem but I did start to understand that a lot of my partnership problems stemmed from the emotional abuse that I had endured from my Mother. I knew I had work to do about this but I was afraid of facing the truth.

After some time, the truth became too apparent to deny as I remembered flashbacks of her insulting me and degrading me. All of which I had labeled as punishment for being a ‘bad’ child. However, I came to realize that my acting out was a result of being insulted by, who I believed, should’ve been the person who believed in me and cheered me on the most- my Mother.

2. Boundaries

I have said in a previous article that my narcissistic relationships, as an adult, helped me create and mantain boundaries.

The older that I got, I noticed that My Mother had a problem with these boundaries that I had set. She would always find a way to impose on my life, insult me or ask me for money that she felt entitled to. Because, as she would repeat, she was the one who stayed to raise us when my Father left us. Therefore, she was immune to criticism and being held accountable.

Just like clockwork, every time I would hold her accountable for her actions or not give into her narcissistic web of deception, I was met with the victimization story. Phrases like, ‘I could have left just like your Dad did’, ‘The doctors told me to abort you but I didn’t’ or, ‘I gave you your name and put you through private school’.

This is how, I believe, narcissists may avoid all responsibility for how they treat you because at the end of the day, they convince you that they are worse off victims than you are. So when you start to hold them accountable, you are met with stories about how bad of a person you are for expecting more from them. It can be very damaging to a person’s mental health to expect respect from a narcissist because you will never get it.

As I have gone through a ton of healing, I only have space for people who are willing to be held accountable for their actions, as I am for mine. I am done dealing with people who make you feel guilty for asking for genuine respect and kindness. It is not something I will chase after someone for. Either it is given or not.

3. I developed my own voice.

Because I grew up afraid to speak up for my health and well-being, I would let people close to me treat me however they wanted to. Being raised by (in my opinion) a narcissistic Mother, I had difficulty speaking up for myself and sticking with my convictions because I was used as a prop to make her feel better about herself.

In public, she was the concerned parent, dressed to the nines and showed up for most events. However, behind closed doors, there was a lot of verbal and emotional abuse. It confused me and broke my spirit as a child living under that household.

She would have a habit of bringing up something I had done when I was a kid that was a mistake or when I was naughty to have leverage over me and to make me feel like a fundamentally bad person when what I needed was guidance. In addition, the shaming would be in front of a group of other family members so that she maintained her power. Narcissists‘ currency is power and having leverage over others so that they project how they feel onto you, empty inside.

Because I was raised by someone who literally tried to strip me of my inner voice and played mental gymnastics with me to just speak up for myself, once I did it felt unnatural and almost like someone was going to tell me that I have been misbehaving for some reason. When all that I have been is me.

Through yoga, therapy, meditation, forgiveness and God’s Grace, I have found true healing. I no longer speak to my Mother and have no plan of doing so. In fact, cutting her off was the best thing that I have ever done in my life.
If you have ever suffered emotional, physical or mental abuse from anyone- particularly a family member, I encourage you to take a step back from them for your wellbeing and seek the healing that you need.
It is time for us to heal, as a collective, and to lay generational curses to rest. Once and for all.

3 Nourishing ways to heal as a Capricorn.

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Life is a healing journey. There is no such thing as a person who is completely healed and run from anyone who tells you that they have nothing to work on. Because as we grow, we learn and those who feel like they are done growing, are not willing to be humble.

With that being said, astrology can be a great tool to help us heal. I recommend you knowing your full chart that you can get by having your birthday and time that you were born.

As someone who has benefited from astrological healing, I encourage you to find out your full birth chart and if you have Capricorn in your Sun, Moon, Rising and Jupiter, apply these healing techniques to your life.

Here are 3 Nourishing ways that a Capricorn can heal:

1. Surrender to The Divine.

As someone who has a lot of Capricorn in my chart, I do not struggle with discipline. However, I have issues with releasing and allowing God (The Divine) to take over my life. Meditation and Yoga have come handy.

However, whatever allows you to simply release once you have done your part. Capricorn is ruled by Saturn, the planet of action. So sometimes those with this earth placement in their chart predominantly or in the areas I previously mentioned can look at life a mission rather than just living it.

Allow God to guide you. There is only so much control that you have and are supposed to have.

2. Stop overworking yourself.

Most Capricorns that I know lose themselves in their work. As I mentioned before, Capricorn’s ruler is Saturn- the planet of hard work. So, it is only natural to feel fulfilled by work.

However, life is not about work. Having drive and feeling accomplished is an admirable trait but not when it takes over your life. If you are consumed with your job or obligations, I ask you to take a step back and add some self-care to your daily routine so that you don’t neglect yourself for the sake of needing to feel accomplished.

3. Let people be.

Every Zodiac Sign has it’s light and shadow side. Light is when we are vibrating in our higher selves; shadow side is when we are in our low vibration.

An aspect of shadow side with Capricorns is the need to control other people. In fact, a lot of the time this energy can come across manipulating and controlling because of the need to have things a certain way.

The most loving thing that we can do for someone is to let them be. Yes, let them know if they are doing something wrong but people are drawn to others who are accepting and kind. When we learn to love from a place of liberation, we raise our vibration and welcome more love because we become love as opposed to see it as an object or something to obtain.

As one of my forever teachers, Maya Angelou says, ‘Love liberates!’ Release the need the need to control others and just be.

For some tools to heal, click here.