If you had told me when I was 25 years old that one day I would be 31 years of age with no kids, I would laugh at you because I used to be so set on being married with kids.

Even though I had an extreme desire, I never went through with it. I almost got married twice and ultimately, couldn’t commit my life to those people because when things started settle in, I couldn’t foresee myself being with them for the rest of this lifetime.

I have stuck to being traditional in my views of marriage, that it is not something to be taken lightly- not saying that is why people get divorced. However, I think if we asked ourselves honest questions and held ourselves accountable before we got married, there would be less divorce.

As a child of divorce, I do not want to put my kids through that. It might happen but that is not my intention. I intend to be married for the rest of my life when I decide to finally do it.

It is not my job to impose this idea on you as it is your own life. However, if you do take marriage seriously and plan to commit for a long time, here are a few questions you might want to ask yourself:

1. If my partner never changed, would I still be happy with them?

2. Do I feel comfortable being in this relationship for a long time?

3. Am I comfortable not dating or being with anyone else ever again?

4. Am I okay with not always having the last word in an argument?

5. Am I willing to compromise sometimes?

6. Is my relationship a stable foundation for myself and my (future) children?

7. Do I communicate to my significant other from a place of compassion, love and understanding?

8. Do I feel heard, loved and understood in my relationship?

9. Do I respect myself and my significant other equally?