I have hope that I will find true love and respect- August

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I have hope that I will find true love and respect
He honors the role of Divine Feminine and Divine Masculine.

I have hope that I will find true love and respect.

He is transparent.

I have hope that I will find true love and respect.

He has let his guard down.

I have hope that I will find true love and respect.

I won’t have to fight to be in his life.

I have hope that I will find true love and respect.

He embraces unconditional love.

I have hope that I will find true love and resect.

We inspire one another to grow.

Why do I want to forgive him? Forgiving a former ex.

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Why do I want to forgive him?

I forgive him because we weren’t meant to be together. We learned from one another and grew. I am grateful.

I forgive him for withholding love from me because it helped heal my abandonment issues.

I forgive him for never fully embracing our relationship and for assuming that because I was younger than he, that I was meant to learn from him.

I forgive him for everything that happened between us because I was responsible, too. I could sit here and blame him for everything but there always two sides to a story.

I forgive him for trying to push marriage on me and using guilt and manipulation about something that isn’t to be taken lightly.

I forgive him for the past because as I do so, I relieve my future of holding onto this anymore.

I am worthy of a healthy and good life. That is ultimately why I forgive him.

Dear God, it’s in your hands.

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Dear God,

Ever since I was a kid, I have been on my mission to find my Soulmate. My search has led me (sometimes) into places of desperation and relationships that I should’ve left way before I did and some that I left too early.

I have always heard the phrase that I will know when I meet him that I am meant to be with him. And when I thought that I did, things went South.

Sometimes I wish I had a husband and a partner who is aligned with God and who is available to be with me. But, I am done thinking too much about it.

It is up to you, God! I am done over-calculating, waiting, sensing, manifesting, over-thinking and wishing. I surrender my hopes of a husband completely to you.

If I am meant to have one, that is up to you. You know what kind of man who is meant to be in my life and lead the family that I hope to deliver into this World.

I am letting go of any manifestations, hopes, wishes and forces of being with anyone. I trust that you know who I am meant to be with and with your blessing, we will be together forever.

Love,

3 Reasons why I am done looking for a partner.

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I am thirty-two years-old and single. Yes, I have almost been married. Yes, I have almost had a kid. Yes, I have been through relationship wringers but I still believe in a divine partnership. And, I know that it is on the way.

They say that as you get older, the more content you become with yourself. Which, I have found to be true about myself. I have also let go of the need to be in a relationship for the sake of it and have lovingly let go of people as a result.

The last time that I recently let go of someone who I saw a future with, I did so with no hate and only love because anger no longer serves a higher purpose in my life-especially when it comes to relationships. So, maybe what they say is correct because I have no space in my life for drama, hurt and un-necessary pain.

So, I am content with being single even though I believe in the value of partnerships and know that God will bless me with it one day.

Here are 3 reasons that I am done looking for a partner:

1. I am at peace with my life right now.

It has taken me a long time to get here but I am at peace with my life and who I am. The paradox of valuing relationships and divinity lies in the fact that one day, I would love to relinquish my singlehood to a relationship that allows me to maintain the peace that I have created.

I know that God has a partner for me who is kind, loyal, a family-man and considerate. So there is no need to force it. I fully trust that he is on the way.

2. Nothing is ever worth forcing in life.

I have had my fair share of relationships where I forced the outcome and created my own suffering by forcing men to be there for me when they didn’t want to be or who weren’t ready. There is a value in learning the hard way, sometimes. Because I now know that I will never do it again.

I am done forcing anything. Relationships are work, yes but equally from both parties. I will never ever force someone to see the value in being with me, in understanding me or in choosing what we have over him choosing what he has with someone else. I have been severely hurt by situations where I was the only one fighting for our relationship and that pain taught me one of the best lessons: that force and effort are two different things.

No relationship is worth being in if you have to coerce the other person to see the benefit of it. I have been there and won’t do it again. I know (now) that there is a bigger picture and I am not meant to control it but flow with it. Learn what I need to and move forward where I am not wanted.

3. Being present is the best gift we can ever have.

I woke up today and heard the birds chirping with glee. Before I started being concerned about an exam that I have been studying for, I closed my eyes, took a deep-breath and listened to the music that the birds were creating. All of a sudden, my worries dissipated and I aligned myself with the vibration of gratitude.

I remembered that I have a healthy body, two legs, two arms, a healthy mind, my heart is beating, I have enough food, I have enough money and I have been blessed with another day. What could be better?

Sometimes I have to pause when I get asked when I will have kids, get married or the same boring questions that circulate amongst materialistic people. I take a step-back and remember that I could’ve had that life a few times but I chose the one that aligns with high vibrations and being present. I want to enjoy everyday to the fullest and let go of the need to have things just because someone else says that I should.

When my future partner arrives, I want to present enough to appreciate the time with him like I am meant to. I am done rushing anything and life is too precious to throw away for what-ifs and lack of gratitude. All is coming because all is already here.

9 qualities that I would like The Father of my children to embody.

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I hope that one day, I am blessed to have a healthy family of my own. By health, I mean a home filled with unconditional love, support and emotional well-being.

I have been very vocal and literal about the healing that I had to do as an adult because of being raised in an emotionally unhealthy household. I have also been put through the wringer in romantic relationships and I played a part in those.

So, when I have the chance to create my own family, I want to get it as right as possible and foster an environment built on respect, kindness and genuine love. Although I have been asked to be married a few times and have been in relationships that were headed that direction, it never felt tangible. However, the more that I heal, the more that I would like to have a family of my own. Who I choose to have it with is very important and when the time comes, I will look for distinct characteristics .

Here are 9 qualities that I would like The Father of my children to embody:

1. Humility.

2. Kindness.

3. Health.

4. Someone who practices unconditional love.

5. Someone who is constantly growing and learning.

6. Someone who can take responsibility and be held accountable.

7. Someone genuine.

8. Someone who is down-to-earth.

9. Someone who is aligned with God and divinity.

Dear Soulmate,

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Dear Soulmate,

I have never loved anyone like you. It’s the kind of love that makes me want to love you no matter what. Whether we end up together or not is not my mission for the first time in a relationship, I just want you to be okay.

I have had my fair share of immature, jealous and emotional love so I know the difference. Loving you has taught me unconditional love. The kind of love that I hear about in spiritual texts that helps one evolve and brings one to ultimate light.

I am sorry for doubting what we had in the beginning and writing you off as people that I have been in relationships with, in the past. You are different, I can see God in you. Your smile, your stature, your grace, your manliness and your endurance- I am in awe of you.

I have let go of the need to control anyone, particularly you because I understand that you are not mine. We may be of each other but can learn so much from one another.

Between us, there is no force, no ultimatums, no needs, no upsets, no past, no future. We are here with love. Although I feel destined to be with you, please know that you are free to do what you wish. I will never hold you down. I will never stop you from growing. I will never judge you. I will never hurt you. I will never underestimate you. I will never question your character.

I will love you no matter what, whether I am beside you or far away. Love doesn’t mean I get what I want; it means I honor, respect and hold true to who you are.

Yours truly,

3 Lessons that I have learned from my former relationship with Narcissists.

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There are different types of Narcissists, in psychological terminology. To me, Narcissism is a spirit and energy where a person makes everything about them and is completely self-absorbed.

We all have our moments of being narcissistic; however, with Narcissists, you feel used and constantly in the cycle that they manipulate you.

I have had my fair share of dealings with these kinds of people and, although I am not a victim, it left me feeling hurt and abused. These relationships have taught me so many lessons and I am forever grateful.

Some of these, I can retain and others, I can pass on.

Here are 3 lessons that I have learnt from Narcissists who used to be in my life:

1. It is not your fault.

I strongly believe in accountability and growth. However, sometimes when we are on the journey of continual healing, we try to make the progress that we make perfect. It is not meant to be so.

We do not control who we attract into our lives; however, we do have a say over how people treat us. Narcissists are brilliant at making you feel special so that they can get you to do what they want. The more that it happens to you, the more that you can recognize this selfish and self-entitled spirit. Like with most things, practice makes perfect so don’t blame yourself if you have left a relationship like this. Take accountability on how you can move forward to avoid and prevent people like this in your life but let go of the shame. We learn and grow.

2. Boundaries are important.

Boundaries to a narcissist are like a house door to a burglar, they will find a way to break them down. We all make mistakes but this is not what I mean when dealing with those who genuinely lack empathy. You will find yourself explaining these over and over again. Only to see that they pretend to care about them but don’t. With narcissists, you have to choose your boundaries or them. The two cannot co-exist.

And, I hope you choose your boundaries because we set them to protect ourselves from past hurts and issues happening to us again. We do not deserve to be broken down and made to feel less than.

3. They can help you know and understand yourself better.

Everyone is a teacher and some teach from leading examples, others from embodying the opposite. Not all of our teachers are going to be what we want to be like; some come to teach us how not to do it.

The same applies with relationships. All of them teach us something: either about ourselves or other people. You May have allowed narcissism in your life because you had to heal it in yourself or set up boundaries to protect yourself against hurtful people. Get to know yourself more and be truthful about how they ended up in your life. Did you receive anything from this relationship that you can give yourself? Or, is there a part of you that needs to be complimented or liked?

Dealing with narcissists can help us heal ourselves and the part of us that allows people who abuse and use us around us in the first place.

I have hope that I will find true love and respect. November 2020.

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I have hope that I will find true love and respect.

He is honest and sincere.

I have hope that I will find true love and respect.

He puts the family that we create first.

I have hope that I will find true love and respect.

He is in alignment with The Spirit of God.

I have hope that I will find true love and respect.

He says exactly what he means.

I have hope that I will find true love and respect.

He has enough emotional and physical time for me.

I have hope that I will find true love and respect.

He practices authentic compassion.

I have hope that I will find true love and respect.

He has no hidden agenda and reveals himself for who he really is.

9 Questions we should all ask ourselves before we get married and have kids.

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If you had told me when I was 25 years old that one day I would be 31 years of age with no kids, I would laugh at you because I used to be so set on being married with kids.

Even though I had an extreme desire, I never went through with it. I almost got married twice and ultimately, couldn’t commit my life to those people because when things started settle in, I couldn’t foresee myself being with them for the rest of this lifetime.

I have stuck to being traditional in my views of marriage, that it is not something to be taken lightly- not saying that is why people get divorced. However, I think if we asked ourselves honest questions and held ourselves accountable before we got married, there would be less divorce.

As a child of divorce, I do not want to put my kids through that. It might happen but that is not my intention. I intend to be married for the rest of my life when I decide to finally do it.

It is not my job to impose this idea on you as it is your own life. However, if you do take marriage seriously and plan to commit for a long time, here are a few questions you might want to ask yourself:

1. If my partner never changed, would I still be happy with them?

2. Do I feel comfortable being in this relationship for a long time?

3. Am I comfortable not dating or being with anyone else ever again?

4. Am I okay with not always having the last word in an argument?

5. Am I willing to compromise sometimes?

6. Is my relationship a stable foundation for myself and my (future) children?

7. Do I communicate to my significant other from a place of compassion, love and understanding?

8. Do I feel heard, loved and understood in my relationship?

9. Do I respect myself and my significant other equally?

Why do I want to forgive him? November 2020

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Why do I want to forgive him? 

Because I can’t hold onto an idea of him. 

I forgive him because I would be lying if I said that he hasn’t disappointed me. 

I forgive him because I’ve given this and us all that I can. And, now it’s time to move on.

I forgive him because I know that he did his best and although I want to hate him to make this easier, he is still lovable. 

I forgive him because anger hasn’t ever served anyone in the process of growth and change. 

I forgive him because in all the time that I have known him, I do not regret anything. 

I forgive him because a part of me wants to go back to the past but there is nothing to go back to. 

I forgive him because I have my non-negotiables in life and it is not personal. 

I forgive him because I am and always will be grateful. He has served his purpose and if it doesn’t happen today, I will make peace with our separation in time. 

I forgive him because ultimately, everything is exactly how it’s supposed to be. 

3 Reasons that I will never date an Entertainer again.

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There is something really cool and exciting about dating someone who’s music you admire or a person who has been in some of your favorite movies. It can sometimes feel surreal and as though you are the luckiest person in The World. 

I have had the fortune of this experience. But, along with it comes secrets, lack of privacy and other issues that can make you feel like it is not worth it. I know who I am and I have clear boundaries. I have tried dating entertainers and, although I don’t like to generalize, it is not for me. 

I am grateful for the blessings and I am most certainly even more so for the lessons. 

Here is why I will never date an entertainer again: 

1. It takes a level of trust like no other. 

As I mentioned prior, dating someone in the public eye who is known for being on the big screen in some shape or form can feel exciting and thrilling. However, after this dies out, if the relationship does not have trust, you can feel like you are going crazy. 

The level of heartbreak and shooting pain to your heart is inexplicable when you see the person who you consider having a future with on the cover of a tabloid magazine with someone else. I am not a victim so I take the lesson in that, I can choose to have this type of relationship pressure and scrutiny in my life or not. And, I choose the latter. 

One of my well-known ex-boyfriends recently had a child and before he could tell me, I woke up to an abrupt text from someone I knew who had read it in a tabloid. Receiving this news in the way that I had, brought my vibration to a low that is inexplicable. To me, it is not worth going through again. 

2. I can’t do fake. 

I don’t want to drag anyone who I have dated or been in a relationship with because I chose them in my life for a reason and I got so much. Way more than I expected to get. Even though I grew stronger and more learned in the situation, I am human and I have feelings. Because my previous relationships with people well-known have been in secret, I have had to process them in private. Sometimes feeling restricted in doing so.  

Although I am a private person, I have not been able to express my love for a particular person that I connected with because it was meant to be kept a secret- a lot would’ve been on the line if I spoke about this person. 

To the public, it may seem like most entertainers are truthful. But, this is not the case. Many of them are pressured into saying and doing the right thing based on how they are perceived. So, you might never know who you are really dating because they are so used to putting on a facade. 

3. I want stability and peace. 

Thankfully, I have never gone public with some of the well-known entertainers that I have dated. However, I have seen how being in the public eye has affected them. Although I am also a generally public person, I don’t have people prying into my personal life and those who do, I don’t respond to. 

I know exactly what I want for my family in the future and it is stability and peace. This contrasts with the lifestyle of an entertainer as most of them are away from home a lot and need publicity to reach a wider audience. The total opposite of how I picture my future. 

As the saying goes, ‘Never say never’. However, I have experienced it enough to know that it is not what I want for me or my future family. 

3 Reasons why I have stopped talking about my love life.

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I’ve been single for just over a year and I have had my moments where I freak out and want to date or be with someone just so that I have kids and settle down. However, I remind myself what happened in the past when I did that and all the chaos & drama I created when I dated from a fear-based place as opposed to abundance: knowing that the person I am meant to be with will be sent by God and divinely orchestrated.

As I have been on this path, I have received a lot of external commentary that has played into my fear so I have to cut that off and re-assure myself I am exactly where I am meant to be. 

I have learnt many lessons in my former relationships. One of the biggest one’s is to not let other people into your relationship. I have been guilty of it and it is a mistake that I will never repeat again. 

Here are 3 reasons why I have stopped talking about my love life: 

1. It’s none of anyone else’s business. 

I am grateful to have a strong friend support system. However when I didn’t in the past, I would trust almost anyone with what I was going through. This was exaggerated when I dated someone famous and noticed some people who would judge what I was going through or use it against me. I felt like what I was saying was being recorded or like I was on trial because some people felt that they knew my ex-boyfriend (more than I did) just because he was in the public-eye. 

Honestly, it was my fault, I shouldn’t have told them about it to begin with. So now to avoid external judgement and betrayal, I keep what I am going through in my love life to myself and ask the divine for answers so that my mind can stay clear and I can keep a positive perspective about all of my relationships. 

2. There should be no external forces in relationships. 

One of my exes had a habit of looking at other women in my presence and it would drive me insane. Not out of jealousy but because I felt like he was allowing external energy into our relationship that was meant between two people. I am not talking about any other relationship because those are not for me, I am a monogamous-type because I believe in unity. 

One night, while I was talking to a friend about what he did it dawned on me that I was doing what he had been doing in a different form. I had let external energy into our relationship by speaking about it to others and not him. We often think of cheating or betrayal as being sexual but dealing with intimacy is more than that, it can also be letting people know things about your partner that they shouldn’t know. 

3. Anything that I want to communicate to my partner, he should know from me. 

When I decided to shed myself of unhealthy habits, which is a continual journey, I realized something about myself and feminine culture. We have a tendency to speak about the person when they aren’t there but when they are around, we smile and act like everything is okay. That is one of the ultimate betrayals. 

I have always been a direct person but that doesn’t sit well with a lot of people, particularly in female culture. So, I found myself cowering to being fake and it was torture. I found myself surrounded by people who do the same and I didn’t like myself. So, I made a promise to myself to be honest- even if it aches but to do so from a place of love and resentment-free. 

Instead of internally boiling up and waiting to let out my frustrations towards others, I speak up in the moment so that I know and they know where I stand. There is no need for other people to know how I feel about my partner when he has no idea because that is not fair to our relationship or to either one of us.