As hard as it is to admit this about life, a lot of it comes with vultures. People who take from others and are incapable of thinking of anyone else but themselves. All of us have aspects of this within- that is how we survive. However, there are some who lack the ability to look within, apologize and decide to give to someone without using it against that person in the future.

These are vultures and they exist in all realms of life: family, friends, romantic relationships and work life. I’m not a psychologist or have studied psychology. However, I am a certified health coach and a spiritual guide. I have had many experiences with this behaviour, with others and even with myself. Until I chose to better myself, I was a vulture, too.

Here are a few things that I have learnt about vultures:

1. They give and love with conditions.

Unfortunately, most of us are raised in a very selfish way of thinking. Many of us were taught and conditioned to believe that if I give to you, you owe me or I can use it against you in the future to make myself feel like a better person. I used to think this way. I have given and loved with conditions, tit-for-tat. This kind of conditioning is exhausting. I saw that when I expected others to give to me, it tired me because I was waiting on a day that night never come to me.

Once, I learnt to give from a place of abundance, I released the need to get back. There is a difference between always giving and never receiving in return and, giving with the sole purpose to receive. The former is allowing ourselves to be used and the latter comes from a self-centered place. Vultures feel entitled to receive, so giving from abundance is not worthy of them doing.

2. They can never really be happy.

Have you ever been in the presence of someone who always has something negative to say about others? Sometimes I notice myself being that person and ask myself to focus on gratitude. I’m not sure why this is the case but, as a whole, we have a tendency to look to the negative. There have been studies that suggest we derive this from our biological nature to survive and need to be critical so that we can understand what we are up against in order to evolve as a species.

However, I have learnt and am still learning that only pointing out the negative aspect of people is exhausting- not for them; for me. A long time ago, a friend asked me, ‘Are you ever happy with a situation?’ And, I had to be honest with myself, the answer was no. I had been conditioned and had a tendency to look to the negative. That’s when I started to meditate and consciously focus on the things are positive. There is a difference between complaining about something and acting on it to make it better vs. perpetually seeing the wrong in situations and not doing anything about it.

3. They are just around to use you.

This has been a constant theme in my life and I’m sure it’s a common theme in most people’s lives. I am not perfect- I don’t want to be. But, something that I take pride in is that I like to live in positivity. I believe in betterment and progression through self and hard work. Not everyone thinks like this and they don’t have to. However, when you think like this, vultures want a piece.

You see, vultures want a piece of what you have created and what you will create at any cost because they lack the capability to do it for themselves and have a sense of jealousy towards others. If you notice there is someone who is in your life who tells you what you want to hear, disappears when you need them and is never really happy for you, you might have a vulture in your life. Notice how they respond to boundaries because they don’t take well to them and will intrude on perimeters you have set because their purpose is not to bring anything valuable into your life but to take as much as they can.