3 Things that I have learnt about vultures.

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As hard as it is to admit this about life, a lot of it comes with vultures. People who take from others and are incapable of thinking of anyone else but themselves. All of us have aspects of this within- that is how we survive. However, there are some who lack the ability to look within, apologize and decide to give to someone without using it against that person in the future. 

These are vultures and they exist in all realms of life: family, friends, romantic relationships and work life. I’m not a psychologist or have studied psychology. However, I am a certified health coach and a spiritual guide. I have had many experiences with this behaviour, with others and even with myself. Until I chose to better myself, I was a vulture, too. 

Here are a few things that I have learnt about vultures: 

1. They give and love with conditions. 

Unfortunately, most of us are raised in a very selfish way of thinking. Many of us were taught and conditioned to believe that if I give to you, you owe me or I can use it against you in the future to make myself feel like a better person. I used to think this way. I have given and loved with conditions, tit-for-tat. This kind of conditioning is exhausting. I saw that when I expected others to give to me, it tired me because I was waiting on a day that night never come to me. 

Once, I learnt to give from a place of abundance, I released the need to get back. There is a difference between always giving and never receiving in return and, giving with the sole purpose to receive. The former is allowing ourselves to be used and the latter comes from a self-centered place. Vultures feel entitled to receive, so giving from abundance is not worthy of them doing. 

2. They can never really be happy. 

Have you ever been in the presence of someone who always has something negative to say about others? Sometimes I notice myself being that person and ask myself to focus on gratitude. I’m not sure why this is the case but, as a whole, we have a tendency to look to the negative. There have been studies that suggest we derive this from our biological nature to survive and need to be critical so that we can understand what we are up against in order to evolve as a species. 

However, I have learnt and am still learning that only pointing out the negative aspect of people is exhausting- not for them; for me. A long time ago, a friend asked me, ‘Are you ever happy with a situation?’ And, I had to be honest with myself, the answer was no. I had been conditioned and had a tendency to look to the negative. That’s when I started to meditate and consciously focus on the things are positive. There is a difference between complaining about something and acting on it to make it better vs. perpetually seeing the wrong in situations and not doing anything about it. 

3. They are just around to use you. 

This has been a constant theme in my life and I’m sure it’s a common theme in most people’s lives. I am not perfect- I don’t want to be. But, something that I take pride in is that I like to live in positivity. I believe in betterment and progression through self and hard work. Not everyone thinks like this and they don’t have to. However, when you think like this, vultures want a piece. 

You see, vultures want a piece of what you have created and what you will create at any cost because they lack the capability to do it for themselves and have a sense of jealousy towards others. If you notice there is someone who is in your life who tells you what you want to hear, disappears when you need them and is never really happy for you, you might have a vulture in your life. Notice how they respond to boundaries because they don’t take well to them and will intrude on perimeters you have set because their purpose is not to bring anything valuable into your life but to take as much as they can.

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9 Things that I am grateful for.

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In this time of uncertainty and tendency to focus on the negative, the practice of gratitude is important. 

Gratitude lifts our vibration and reminds us of all the good in our life. That doesn’t mean that we don’t work on our problems and get us out of a position but sometimes we need to remember positivity so that we can work towards it. 

Here are 9 things that I am grateful for right now: 

1. My body. 

2. My mind. 

3. The time to pause and reflect. 

4. Situations that I have let go of.

5. This time to grow. 

6. This time to forgiveness. 

7. The awakening taking place within me and others. 

8. People and things that I was not for, vice versa. 

9. God’s grace. 

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3 Reasons why I don’t look up to celebrities, Gurus or SuperYogis to be my saviour.

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I’ve lived in three different major cities where celebrities and well-known people reside: London, New York and (now) Los Angeles. Interestingly, each city approaches and deals with famous people differently. 

In London, the average person couldn’t be bothered. Similarly in New York. However, in Los Angels, there is a culture that is celebrity-focused and applauding. Might be because of Hollywood; however, it is apparent here that people of fame stature are treated above others. 

Although I have dated a few well-known people and am sometimes fascinated by the culture of people who believe that they are above others, I have rarely been influenced or aspired to be like a celebrity. 

Yes, I have (and still) admire what some people who have acquired success in their own field represent. But, that is not just in one industry; it is in all industries. 

Here are 3 reasons that I don’t look up to Celebrities, Gurus and SuperYogis to be my saviour: 

1. Most of them are out of touch. 

When I remember one of my family members, who was famous in South Africa, I have memories of how she had to run from people to feel like her true self. This left an impression on me for the rest of my life. You see, I have always loved to sing but detested what came with it. My family member showed me this: shady contracts, untrustworthy people and the need to always be number one. 

When I was in a relationship with a well-known Producer, I was given a taste of this again. He could never let his guard down because he had to keep up an image/persona that was contrary to who he was. His battle between who he perceived to be and is, created a struggle and (in my opinion) he lost touch of why he started making music in the first place. 

Although many famous people make themselves seem relatable; the average person shares very little with them. Which is okay. After meeting and dating some well-known people, I have learnt that I have almost nothing in common with them. I would rather look up to people that I can genuinely relate to and speak of their character from an authentic place; rather than an image that is portrayed to The World through campaigns and media. 

2. Hard work is often not rewarded through a paycheck. 

I have had the pleasure of meeting some of the most hardworking people in my life and most of them have not been recognized or well-known. This does not mean that famous people don’t work hard; it just means that sometimes we look past the average worker when they can be more inspiring than someone who is on the cover of a magazine. 

I have had the privilege of working many different jobs and meeting the person who cleans toilets, picks up after other people and manages a bunch of staff without the recognition that they deserve but with a big smile on their face are the people that I admire and look up to for hope. 

One of the most distinctive memories that I have of my junior school was greeting one of Our Gardeners who always had a smile on his face. Every morning, he would grace me with his white and pearly smile and it gave me hope and inspired me to always stay positive. It has left an imprint on my life and I will always remember him as an inspiration to me. 

3. I want a simple life. 

I have been very vocal and literary expressive about when I decided to leave the music industry. My experience was that I had to change to be able to do what I can do naturally, sing. I believe in evolution; however, I don’t believe in changing my authentic self to appease others. Which is a contradiction to what some Publicists and Producers told me would get me recognized for my work. I had one Producer tell me that most people who are famous can’t sing well, it is about image. It was then that I promised to remain authentic to myself and the people that I loved. 

I left the industry and began to do some serious soul-searching and healing. 8 years later, I am grateful to be exactly where I am. In society’s eyes, I may not be as worthy as someone like Kylie Jenner or another extremely rich person who is a young adult. But, I have my dignity, pride and I can walk in a park and get lost in my imagination without being recognized or noticed. I notice myself and love myself, that is what I value more than false recognition based off of an image, money and what I can do for others.

My life is simple and I like it this way. 

3 Things that I wish I had known before I started BiologiqueLife.

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In 2017, after I had written for a popular online international blog platform, I decided to start my own. Even though I had published articles for this website, I didn’t feel like it represented me in an authentic way because some of the articles were so editted that sometimes it didn’t sound like my own voice. 

At one point, I was their most popular and hated author. At times I did take it too personally. I would cry when I read negative comment after comment that was about words that were not my own. To avoid feeling bitter and resentful, I decided to no longer write for them and start my own, that aligned with authenticity and spirituality. A platform where I am not out to make money only and in a quick way with shocking headlines but because people resonate with the stories. 

When I started BiologiqueLife, I had just gone through a personal difficulty and wanted to create a platform to heal myself and others. I don’t regret any of the outcome and am grateful that I learnt all of this. However, if I was told anything about the process of BiologiqueLife, I would want to know the following: 

1. Not everyday is a day for creativity. 

I am a natural creative: I love writing, drawing, singing, colours and designing. However, when it comes to structure, money and taxes, I am knowledgeable about it but find myself putting it off till later.

In the past few years, I have had to be honest about what my strengths are and use them to counteract my weaknesses. For example, I have taken business courses and asked friends to help me with fine details because I believe in the success of it. There have been days when I would rather sleep in than do calculations. So, I reward myself with a treat after I have completed something that I don’t like doing. Bringing balance to myself and BiologiqueLife. 

2. You will understand the true meaning of a hater, how will you respond? 

I used to be afraid to do well for fear of people thinking that I thought that I was better than them. Growing up, people would constantly tell me that I was full of myself because I was and am confident. Sometimes this confidence was put on but I am a firm-believer in putting your best self out there to represent yourself as such. 

When I started BiologiqueLife, I knew that there/are negative people in the world but I didn’t see the full capacity of what others might be capable of when they can’t handle your success. For the most part, people have been supportive and loving- which is who I write for. However, I have had the few that are clearly not supportive of what I have created. And, it is okay, they don’t have to be. When they behave that way, I have made a decision to accept it and understand that I have something to learn. Sometimes it is to have thicker skin, to learn more or to ignore anything that is attempting to bring me down. Haters will always be around, they do not deserve my time or energy. 

3. Consistency and devotion is key. 

People ask me, where do you find the time to write? And, honestly, I am not sure because in my head, I don’t have to find time- it is already there. I just have to use it. My life without writing is not living. We all have something that brings us life and reminds us why we need to share it with others; however, most of us don’t share it or are not consistent with it because we might be fearful, procrastinating or think that it is not worthy. 

There have been days when I have had to convince myself of why I started BiologiqueLife and write almost everyday because anything that requires consistency can be challenging. However, the outcome is more rewarding. Nothing that is worthy of achieving in life comes without effort, consistency and devotion- otherwise, everyone else would be doing it. 

Through serving others, devotion and giving up our Ego, we serve a bigger and higher purpose. We learn that growth and transformation requires digging deep within but, is possible if we do it with consistency.

3 Things that I learnt attending a British School as a South African girl.

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I have only made peace with one of the schools that I went to recently and, it has taken me many years to do so. I did have some great teachers, yes! But, it didn’t stop me from sometimes feeling like an outcast as a minority in my school- for most of my secondary schooling years. 

I went to a British School in South Africa for most of my schooling. And, although it provided me with a lot, I felt confined and as though I was never enough. A lot of it had to do with my heritage. Although I am of mixed heritage, some being British, I identify fully with being South African. The two cultures are very different- as variety of cultures are.

I spent a lot of time being angry at British culture and needing to fit into a particular academic bracket or ‘keep up with The Joneses’, so I ran away from this part of my life after I left High School for a long time. When I moved to America, people would confuse my accent for being British and (at first), I would get angry but now I don’t care. 

I have forgiven the negative side of history that Britain has largely contributed to. Which, to me was manifested in what I was taught at School and part of my ancestry. 

Here are 3 things that I learnt while attending, and since have left, The British School that I attended: 

1. To speak up. 

Coming from a politically active family, I was raised to speak up for injustice. A lot of which I would see at This School. We had a teacher who, I believed to be racist and when we would confront The Headmistress (Principal) about it, we were met with phrases like, ‘How do you know?’, ‘Study harder’ or, ‘Give her a reason to like you.’ Although I didn’t agree with what she said, there was nothing else that I could do but listen to her and hope that she was right. What if it worked? What if I could push down that intuitive feeling of being singled out because of my culture and race? 

Of course, no matter how much I tried, I was still met with the feeling that I wasn’t good enough and my intuition knew why. I learnt from this experience that I can only speak up and from a place of intuition and truth, everything else is up to the other person. 

2. Discrimination is real. 

Unfortunately most of us have been raised to be threatened by other people, cultures and races because we fear that they will steal from us. This fear-based thinking creates prejudice against women, people of different races and religions. The thing about discrimination is that it is stifling. For the discriminator, it leaves negativity and for the person who is being discriminated against, it leaves negativity with them too. 

One of my most painful memories of being discriminated against was when I 15 and had a huge crush on this boy from our brother school in Johannesburg . He will remain nameless but I was smitten by him. I felt like we had a vibe. We would talk almost everyday and one night, he tried to kiss me but (typical me) my head was in the clouds and I didn’t get what he was trying to do. 

The next week, I was in class and after class I mentioned how he had tried to kiss me. One of the girls that I trusted told me that she asked him about me and he said that he would only do physical things to me but would never date me because he is not inclined to date or be seen with a black girl.I felt the biggest punch in my heart and started to feel tears warm my eyes. After that, I promised not to date a man from South Africa again. I was burnt. 

It took me a long time to date anyone again because I felt like I couldn’t date anyone or fit in with any demographic because of how I was raised and being from a mixed heritage. It is only until recently that I have healed from situations like this because I have acknowledged that not everyone is racist and those who are, are conditioned that way because of who they are and what they choose to believe in; it has nothing to do with me. 

3. Share your stories with those who care ONLY. 

I have been through a lot and when I was younger,I would share my stories with everyone because I trusted everyone. Although I kept the stories of experiencing prejudice at schools silent for a long time, years after I started to tell them and noticed who responded in a kind and compassionate way. Some people would ask me to see the positive when I was merely speaking from a place of truth and it infuriated me. I learnt that there are some people who care about our truths and those who don’t care.

Not everyone will care, they don’t have to. However, I choose to surround myself with people who I share a story of how I feel with and allow me to embrace my vulnerable side. People who don’t blame me for my past but trust me to be okay once this situation has passed. People who allow me to be angry at the injustices in The World but support me in transforming that emotion into healing, art, writing and seeing the silver-lining in every situation. 

There is a stereotype of an angry black woman and I was so afraid to be that portrayal. I have released this image that has been pushed onto us and know in my heart that all people feel anger, it is okay. As long as we do something about what we are angry about. Emotions have a purpose and so do actions.

12 Things that I would rather be called other than mean.

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We all have faced some harshness and unkindness in our lives. I used to believe that this was normal so I was unkind and accepted behaviour in my life that was not positive, affirming and reassuring. 

Who knows why I used to settle for less than I deserved but I see it all around- people accepting unkindness and mean-spiritedness when we shouldn’t. About 4 years ago, I went through a culmination of different events that changed my perception of how I approach people and what I wanted to project to the world. Ever since then, I made a promise to myself to practice kindness as much as possible. I don’t always get it right but that doesn’t mean that I stop trying. 

Here are 12 things that I would rather be as opposed to mean: 

1. Kind.

2. Understanding.

3. Compassionate. 

4. Mature. 

5. Fulfilled. 

6. Loving. 

7. Happy. 

8. Joyful. 

9. Playful. 

10. Honest. 

11. Aligned. 

12. Purposeful. 

6 Reasons to go back to school, by Diana Athena.

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Just like most people, I went to college right after I graduated high school. What I didn’t realize is that the universe had other plans for me and after two years of studying Hospitality & Hotel Management, I ended up moving to The United States. Adult life and freedom led me into the current of opportunities.

The ability to pay my bills by simply working at bars and restaurants seemed pretty tempting at first; however, the years were passing by and my first excitement has been replaced with questions like, “How much longer am I willing to do what I do?”, and ,“What will come after?”. I had been considering going back to school but was uncertain what I wanted to study. When you are older going back to school may seem a bit intimidating. It took me years (and some inspiration from close friends) to finally find the courage and take the first step by simply collecting information about the process of reinstatement. I went down the road from there, I’ve collected all the papers, applied and got accepted!

I can tell you, being a student in your 30’s is very different than being a student right after high school. But, it is still worth it! 

Being a freshman again made me realize a few things. This is what they are:

1. I have a better understanding of what I want.

I was 17 when I first went to college back in Russia and going to school was expected of me. At that age, i hadn’t yet understood who I wanted to be when I grew up. My interests were scattered between so many areas - I loved hospitality, theater, traveling ;but yet I also loved animals and wanted to be a veterinarian. Now when I am more settled, I can now better tell the difference between what I would like to pursue as a career and what would serve me better kept as a hobby. 

2. More confidence!

Now that I am a bit older, I have so much more confidence in myself. I no longer need to seek approval from peers or try to impress anyone. School is a place to work on my education, to get things done and to get better! 

3. Better time management.

Being a student while working a full time job (or 2 in my case) is not an easy task, but likely at this point of my life I have a better understanding of time management and self care, which helps me to keep a busy schedule and stay motivated.

4. I can choose classes based on what I already do to improve my performance.

Now when I am back at school, I have a clear idea of what I am drawn to. My past experiences serve as a strong foundation and relate to the knowledge that I am receiving at this moment. Having set opinions and believes helps to determine what exactly I would like to focus on in my education and my career.

5. New connections.

No matter how old you are it is important to keep expanding the circle of the people you know. Being back in school I have got to meet so many moving and inspiring people, who have changed my views and opinions and who I am continuing to learn from. 

6. The best investment of your time is investment into yourself!

There is always room for growth! Regardless of if it is getting another college degree, or taking some dance lessons because you have always loved salsa. Whatever it is for you, learning is a good way to stay ahead and to keep the everlasting energy of change flowing. 

The Playlist of Hope: 10 chansons pour vous élever.

Voici mes dix chansons pour vous aider à vous mettre de bonne humeur:

1. All night - Beyoncé.

2. Audio - Sia, Diplo et Labyrinth.

3. End of Time - Beyoncé.

4. Light It Up- Major Lazer.

5. Rise Again - Liquideep.

6. I Trust You-James Fortune.

7. Make it happen - Mariah Carey.

8. Say yes - Michelle Williams, Kelly Rowlands et Beyoncé

9. Onto The Next One - Jay-Z & Swiss Beatz.

10. Just Can’t Get Enough - Black Eyed Peas