4 more things that I learnt about haters

Image from unSplash

Image from unSplash

Whether we would like to admit it or not, there will always be someone hateful in our lives. It might be a friend, a family member, a roommate, a romantic partner, a business partner or even you.

Recently, I learnt a few more things about haters that I would like to share with you:

1. Hurt people hurt people

I found myself recently being a hater towards a Musician/DJ/Producer who would frequent a yoga studio that I used to teach at in Los Angeles. All of the hate that I had accumulated towards men, I had placed on him because it was easy. It was easy to hate a man who publicly isn’t the kindest to woman because he was the biggest target. He has a platform and millions of followers on Instagram. The hateful part of me was jealous that he could spread the message of tearing women down. I found myself saying nasty things about his character until one day, I realized that I didn’t even know him so how can I be so hateful towards him? I was so harsh on him and being harsh leads to hate. Hate is a burden that I don’t want to carry. So, I sent him an apology letter and wish him the best. I needed to look within myself to see what wasn’t healed. He is not responsible for something that other men have done to me. He doesn’t deserve to be the recipient of hate.

2. Not everyone will celebrate you.

Lately, I have come to terms with the fact that not everyone will be happy for my achievements because they don’t have to be. They don’t have to be happy for me. In addition, I have learnt that people who have nothing to celebrate in their own lives are more likely not to celebrate yours. People are dealing with themselves and their own lives, and usually how they feel about you has nothing to do with you. It is an extension of how they feel about themselves.

3. Not everyone wants the best for you.

In an ideal world, everyone is rooting for each other but that is not reality. The world we live in is full of love and light; however, there is hatred and darkness too. All of us make a daily choice of what we will choose to embrace each day and some people choose darkness and hatred. With darkness comes negativity, being mean, lies and wrongdoing. We cannot expect everyone to be at their best or to be rooting for us, we can only expect the best from ourselves. How other people choose to behave is how they have chosen to behave. If they see the light, great! If they don’t, great too! Life goes on.

4. It’s not personally.

Like I said before, people are dealing with themselves and not everyone knows how to overcome incompetence, Ego, self-hatred, betrayal and negativity. Most people will unleash it right onto someone else after it has happened to them. Even some of the most ‘personal’ attacks of hatred are an extension of where that person is at mentally, physically and emotionally, don’t take it personally. Everyone is at a different place in their lives and some are not inclined to be better people. Love them from a distance and let them go, they are not your problem to deal with or you will find yourself taking on someone else’s negativity, hurt and pain.

15 reasons to forgive

Image by Getty Images

Image by Getty Images

Every three months, I take a yoga challenge. I practice hot yoga for thirty consecutive days and I also give myself thirty reasons to forgive.


Here are fifteen of my favourite from my last challenge:


1. I forgive because holding onto judgements about myself and others only shackles my mind and soul to negativity.


2. I forgive because I want to remember more than what has been done wrong to me.


3. I forgive because we are all humans. Counting what is wrong with others will only bring me down, how long can I keep fighting for?


4. I forgive because I am not a victim. Anything that has been done to me was not under my control.


5. I forgive because I will not allow negative people and negative situations to have a hold over my life.


6. I forgive because today is too beautiful to be spent judging and scrutinizing people around me.


7. I forgive because if I don't move past offense, I will drive myself crazy.


8. I forgive because I don't expect people to be kind, I merely appreciate those who are. The only way that I can appreciate those who are kind, is by forgiving those who are unkind.


9. I forgive because what has happened, has happened. It is time to let it go.


10. I forgive because in this imperfect human body I am in no state to hold anything against anyone.


11. I forgive because I can't expect others to live by my expectations.


12. I forgive because I can't re-write the past and I don't want to.


13. I forgive because my sense of peace is not worth sacrificing over something that happened in the past.


14. I forgive because I want to wish others well- including those who have hurt me.


15. I forgive because I want to have hope. Hope is not obtained by holding onto what has gone wrong