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I honestly never thought that I would have ended my last relationship until it became too difficult to be in. I thought that he was my soulmate and, maybe he is? However, for self- preservation and restoration, separation between him and I is necessary.
I was always told that love is kind. So, it is hard for me to stay with someone who continues to do something unkind to me after I have told him how it upsets me.
It hasn’t been easy. Is it ever easy? However, I am applying some of the laws of karma to this break-up. Which I have found helpful and, this is how:
1. I need to be the person who I want to be with.
I was in a yoga class when the teacher read out the laws of karma, I started crying. I cried because I promised to hate my ex and hurt him how he had hurt me. I was going to get even, even if it meant stealing my peace and some of my time. She read out The Law of Creation, when we change ourselves; our lives change too.
As the tears poured, I imagined what would happen if I got revenge and had a bunch of men around as validation, as he does with women. I cried because I knew and truly understood that I am better than that behaviour. If I am truly done with him, I need to elevate my behaviour. Which means rising above what has been done to me.
2. If I let him go, I have to truly mean it.
It’s been difficult to let go of him because I have been told by a few different psychics that he is my soulmate. I’m not sure why and maybe I will never know. So, I keep letting him go and going back to him because a part of me wants to believe what I have been told.
When the yoga teacher read out The Law of Humility, I had a lightbulb moment: I need to accept that his behaviour is toxic towards me so that I can move forward. His behaviour is toxic because it creates behaviour in me that wants to get revenge, be spiteful and jealous- when there is never a need for any of that.
So, I accept that this relationship is toxic so that I can release the burden of needing to lie when something is weighing me down.
3. Be here now.
After I made the decision to no longer be with him, I asked myself, what if I’m never with my soulmate? And, I became sad. You see, since I was a kid, I have longed for my soulmate. I had a deep knowing and understanding that someone living was another person who I understood beyond the physical. And, when we met, we would understand.
I thought that this happened with this man. That is why I stayed and that is why I dwelled.
However, I was listening to a motivational video this morning, it spoke of our better days are on our way. Which brings me to The Law of Here and Now, progress only happens in this moment. I can’t look to the past and look to the future to be happy and content. I can only be here now.
4. Responsibility manifests through actions.
As I mentioned earlier, I was planning war with him because I know that I could get to him. The hurt me wanted to hurt him. When the yoga teacher read The Law of Resposibility, it reminded me that I need to take responsibility for how I ended up in this circumstance and the responsibility that I will take moving forward.
This man and I have a history of him chasing me and me running away from him. So, it created the atmosphere that we show each other love through him chasing me and by me not being truly present. Honestly, a part of me was afraid to be truly present because I was afraid that once the chase was done, so would we.
The person that I want to be with shouldn’t have to chase me for a few months because I will see their true heart, kind actions and glowing aura. I won’t be continuously afraid of him and run. I won’t need to be convinced to be with someone because that creates a breeding ground for unhealthy behaviour. And, what is love, if we can’t express it through kind actions?