I was never really into online dating but I had gone through an on-and-off again relationship with someone and felt depleted. I felt like having someone new in my life would add a lot of what I was missing, adventurous and fresh energy.

Although I had formerly attempted a popular dating website which ended with some random guy insisting to go out with me despite me declining, I decided to give it another go. I had heard great things about a dating app where the women reached out first.

I thought that this would be different. So, I gave it a shot. I loaded the app and began to reach out to men who I was matched with.

As always, I don’t regret anything because living is how we learn. But, these are 3 things I wish I had known before I had my first online dating experience:

1. Don’t force anything.

The first and only person I dated through this dating app, was a fairly decent guy. However, the difference between him and most (if not all) guys that I have dated, we had no friends or acquaintances in common. I am used to dating someone who shares friends so that I trust them more and we have more in common.

On paper, he seemed like a good match. However, I got the sense that he was hiding something. I kept waiting for him to drop a truth bomb on me and I would suddenly discover that he was not for me. So that I could blame him for being the reason why it wasn’t meant to be. When I noticed my thought process of doing this, I came to realize that I didn’t have that have excitement for him and was forcing it because I was concerned about not being alone.

After I ended it, I decided to date myself and took myself on amazing dates and focused my energy on becoming the love that I was asking someone else to give me.

2. Just because someone is a good match on paper; doesn’t make them a good match for life.

When the guy that I had online-dated told me that he went to the same school as my dad, I was overjoyed. I have always wanted to date someone who is in tech. Partially because of financial stability but mostly because I love how most people in Tech think. At heart, I am a nerd. I love comic books, superhero movies, mathematic equations, scientific theories, thinking outside of the box, conspiracy theories and playing video games.

So, I have always meshed well with people who choose Tech as their jobs because they think like me and how I was raised. I am always learning and I am not proud of how I handled every aspect of how I dealt with him. But, my biggest takeaway from this is that there was no electricity.

I had previously dated men that I had a lot of connection with and no future. So, I wanted to try something different. This situation reminded me that love is not logical and we can’t look at it from a practical point of view. The heart and head are at two different points of the body. Although they are separate, they need each other. They work together in the body and they should also work together in love.

3. A picture and profile can’t tell you how you will feel. Only intuition can.

After this learnéd encounter and after moving to Los Angeles, I re-loaded that app, just for fun and began chatting with an older European fitness professional. My intuition told me not to give him his number. But alas, I did because I thought, what’s the worst that could happen? I can always block him.

I can laugh about the following events now but at the time I was low-key scared. After I gave him my number, he sent me a video every 10-15 minutes of him working out. One night, I was in West Hollywood with my friend dancing and singing. When I picked up my phone after a few hours, I had a few missed calls from him and over two dozen videos. I knew then that my initial intuition was right about him so I blocked him and thought that that story was over. However, I would ‘bump‘ into him after yoga or cycling class and was angered that he appeared to be following me.

I confronted him and he ended up leaving me alone. But, I learnt (and am still learning) that my intuitive voice is a gift and it is up to me to listen to it for my safety, sanity and overall well-being.