Last year was a very eventful year where I was called by God to learn a lot of different things. Mostly, that not everyone who is around me means well for me.
We collectively call them ‘haters’, the people who smile in your face but are glad to gossip about you or will not defend you when you need it. Those who cannot be happy for you because ultimately, they can’t be happy for themselves.
This year started off with me releasing more people like this. And, I am glad that I did. Although it was imperative for me to release them, some of these people I shouldn’t have entertained in the first place. Especially as friends. I am a very loyal friend and it can be exhausting having friends who do not reciprocate and give back.
Amongst that, I learned a few other things about haters. Here are 3 of them:
1. Sometimes they are in your family.
Last year, I learned one of the best things that I could have ever learned: just because someone is your family, doesn’t mean that they mean well for you. In fact, some of the most hurtful things that I have been done to me have been done by my own blood.
It is okay to distance ourselves from emotionally and verbally abusive people, no matter what role they have in our lives. If I have empathy and grace, the offer should be extended to me, too. If it isn’t, then I am willingly allowing abusive people in my life for no reason.
Sometimes the best way to love someone is to put up a boundary to protect yourself against their shadow side until they have healed it.
2. Sometimes they claim to be your fan.
Two years ago, I had a lady come take one of my yoga classes. She became a frequent in my class and would tell me that she wanted to be like me, word-for-word. It creeped me out so I distanced myself from her.
Come to find out, that over these couple of years, she has been plagiarizing and copying my work and style. She even named her oil products a similar name to mine. When I confronted her, she denied it and thus, I have sought legal justice against her.
When I discovered her ‘stalker’ ways, I was disappointed but then I remembered how far I have come as a person and realized that not everyone has evolved out of their insecurities. In fact, most don’t. Instead of being angry at her for being petty, immature and a copycat, I am choosing to release any animosity that I felt for her to God.
Yes, I will seek legal justice but it won’t consume me. She is who she is and it has nothing to do with me.
3. Sometimes they call themselves your friend.
I recently released a friend that I had for a few years. We met at a yoga studio that I worked at and although my intuition showed me that she was a disloyal friend, I kept her around because I wasn’t listening to my inner voice.
I would watch her gossip about friends and didn’t reprimand her because some of it, I thought I benefited from and other times, I didn’t want to judge her. I recently found out that she had betrayed me in an immense way and it upset me. I wanted to let her know how I felt.
But, as she began to disappear and not face up and own up to what she did, I realized something golden about her and other fake friends: they don’t mean well for others. I learned that someone can smile at you but be scheming against you behind your back.
After all of that, I got more than I lost. I wish her well and now I know for sure to always trust my intuition. It has saved me before and will save me again. It’s time to be led by that internal voice connected to God and The Divine.
