Les 3 raisons pour lesquelles j'ai décidé d'abandonner ma flamme jumelle.

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Mon histoire Twin Flame a été une histoire de complexité et d'aventure. Si vous n’êtes pas au courant de mon parcours avec une flamme jumelle, veuillez vous reporter à l’article intitulé «5 choses que j’ai apprises au cours de mon voyage avec une flamme jumelle».




Récemment, j'ai décidé d'abandonner ma flamme jumelle. Ce n’est pas une décision facile à prendre, mais c’est la meilleure chose à faire à cause de ces 3 choses:




1. Je mérite d'être en paix.


Pour moi, rien ne devrait vous coûter la paix et, si c'est le cas, vous devez le laisser partir. La relation entre ma flamme jumelle et moi était devenue coûteuse pour ma paix. Vous voyez, dans mes espoirs et aspirations d'être avec lui, j'ai oublié une chose: cette vie se passe maintenant. La vie n’arrive pas demain, la semaine prochaine ou l’année prochaine. La vie se passe maintenant. Pendant que j'attendais ce que les médiums m'avaient annoncé, mon niveau d'anxiété a commencé à augmenter. J'ai commencé à être impatient et je me suis demandé pourquoi cela ne s'était pas encore produit. J’ai renoncé à une relation et au temps qui me séparait de lui et il n’a pas donné les résultats escomptés. Pourquoi?


En toute honnêteté, je ne sais pas pourquoi cela n’est pas arrivé, mais je sais une chose. Chaque jour est trop précieux pour que l’on s’inquiète pour une personne qui n’est pas dans ma vie. Alors, pour honorer la paix et le moment présent, j'ai choisi de le libérer de ma vie.






2. Je fais confiance à l'univers.


Chaque fois que j'oublie, on me rappelle que l'Univers est mon dos. L'Univers a tout notre dos, nous devons simplement permettre à l'Univers de prendre soin de nous. Je suis un partisan et j'aime que les choses soient en ordre; Cependant, avec l'ordre de l'Univers, mon sens du contrôle peut parfois me gêner. Il n'y a pas de meilleur chemin que celui que Dieu a pour moi et, quand les choses deviennent trop difficiles à gérer pour moi, je dois le libérer.




Je ne suis pas sûr de savoir pourquoi Dieu m'a envoyé tous ces signes concernant ma flamme jumelle et pourquoi je me sens toujours comme si lui et moi ne signifiaient rien pour chacun d'eux, mais je sais que je fais confiance à Dieu. Complètement et complètement. Alors, comme je respecte cette confiance, je le libère. Je le libère pour que je puisse sortir de mon propre chemin.






3. Le chemin sur lequel il se trouve est différent de celui sur lequel je veux être.


Comme je l'ai déjà mentionné, il est DJ / producteur et je dois me battre contre son style de vie. Ce mode de vie est celui dont je faisais partie quand j'étais plus jeune. Faire partie de ce style de vie m'a coûté beaucoup: ma paix, ma confiance en moi et ma vérité. Je ne sais pas pourquoi il continue de faire partie de ce style de vie, mais je sais que mon parcours est beaucoup plus sain que celui que j’étais auparavant.




Je vois ma flamme jumelle et moi sur deux chemins différents. L'un n'est pas meilleur que l'autre; Cependant, j'ai trop travaillé en interne pour revenir à ma vie passée. Il y a trois ans, j'ai prié pour que je veuille seulement être dans des relations qui me rapprochent de Dieu et de l'illumination. Cette relation entre lui et moi ne semble pas en être une. Par conséquent, il est temps de le libérer et de le libérer. C'est un homme merveilleux, bon au cœur, beau et gentil et je l'aime. Avec tout l'amour que j'ai pour lui, je lui pardonne et je le laisse partir. J'espère qu'il est aimé comme il mérite d'être aimé sans que je ne l'oblige à être différent ou à changer qui il est et comment il choisit de passer son temps.

The 3 reasons why I have chosen to let go of my Twin Flame.

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My Twin Flame story has been one of intricacy and adventure. If you are not up to speed with my twin flame journey, please refer to the article entitled, ‘5 things that I have learnt on my twin flame journey’.


Recently, I have decided to let go of my Twin Flame. It has not been an easy decision but it felt like the best thing to do because of these 3 things: 


1. I deserve to be in peace.


To me, nothing should ever cost you your peace and, if it does, you must let it go. The relationship between my Twin Flame and I had become costly of my peace. You see, in my hopes and aspirations of being with him, I forgot one thing: that life is happening now. Life doesn’t happen tomorrow, next week or next year. Life is happening now. While I was waiting for what psychics had told me would happen to occur, my anxiety levels started to rise. I started to become impatient and asked myself, how come it hasn’t happened yet? I gave up a relationship and time to be with him and it hasn’t turned out how I wanted it to. Why?

In all fair honesty, I am not sure why it hasn’t happened but I do know one thing. Each day is too precious to spend worrying about someone who isn’t in my life. So, to honour peace and the present moment, I have chosen to release him from my life.



2. I trust The Universe.


Every time that I forget, I am reminded that The Universe has my back. The Universe has all of our backs, we just have to allow The Universe to take care of us. I am a go-getter and I like things to be in order; however, with the order of The Universe, my sense of control can sometimes get in the way. There is no better path than the one that God has for me and, when things become too much for me to handle, I must release it.


I’m not sure why God sent me all these signs about my twin flame and why I still feel like he and I aren’t meant for each but, something that I do know is that I trust God. Fully and completely. So, as I honour this trust, I release him. I release him so that I can get out of my own way.



3. The path that he is on is one that is different to the one that I want to be on.


As I have mentioned before, he is a DJ/ Producer and I have an internal battle with his lifestyle. That lifestyle is one that I used to be a part of when I was younger. Being a part of that lifestyle cost me a lot: my peace, my self worth and my truth. I’m not sure why he continues to be a part of that lifestyle but, one thing that I do know is that the path that I am on now is a lot healthier than the one that I was on before.


I see my Twin Flame and I on two different paths. One is not better than the other; however, I have done too much internal work to go back to how I used to live. Three years ago, I prayed that I only want to be in relationships that bring me closer to God and enlightenment. This relationship between him and I doesn’t appear to be one that does so. Therefore, it is time to release him and it. He is a wonderful, kind-hearted, beautiful and kind man and I love him. With all the love that I have for him, I forgive him and I let him go. I hope that he is loved the way that he deserves to be loved without me forcing him to be different or change who he is and how he chooses to spend his time.

I have hope that I will find true love and respect- part 3

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I have hope that I will find true love and respect.

He will be in the form of someone kind, brave and considerate.


He will be in the form of someone who is gentle and kind. Loving and wise. Stable yet adventurous.


I have hope that I will find true love and respect.

He will be someone who puts ‘us’ first and reminds me that his attention and admiration is not for any other. I will trust that he will stay faithful and true.


He will be someone who falls in love with my mind and soul. As a result, will appreciate my body too.


I have hope that I will find true love and respect. He will be someone who is honest, who will live by his wise truth and remind me to live in mine.


He will stand firm in himself and doesn’t need praise or outside approval to complete him.


He will bring value to my life, and others, and this will make me want to choose him and only him to spend my life with.

Pourquoi est-ce que je veux le laisser partir?

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Pourquoi est-ce que je veux le laisser partir?


Parce que j’ai assez donné notre relation et que j’ai maintenant l’impression de ne plus pouvoir donner.



Je veux le laisser partir parce que je veux vivre dans le flux de la vie.


Je veux le laisser partir parce que ma paix ne vaut aucune relation ni aucune autre personne. Dernièrement, cela m’a coûté ma paix de traiter avec lui et la paix est la chose la plus importante pour moi.


Je veux le laisser partir car, même si on m'a dit qu'il était mon âme-sœur, je n'en suis pas sûr.


Je veux le laisser partir parce que j’ai fini de prouver que je suis digne de l’attention de quelqu'un d’autre et que j’ai le sentiment que je ne suis pas le seul à recevoir son attention.


Je veux le laisser partir parce que je ne suis pas sûr du résultat. Tout ce que je sais, c'est que je fais confiance à l'Univers et que la séparation me semble préférable en ce moment.


Je veux le laisser partir parce que je veux réserver mon énergie et mon temps aux gens et aux situations qui me permettent d'embrasser pleinement l'amour.


Je veux le laisser partir parce que c'est l'une des meilleures décisions que j'ai prises depuis un moment. Il est sur un chemin sur lequel je ne me vois pas et ça va.


Je l'aime, je lui pardonne et je le libère.

Why do I want to let him go?

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 Why do I want to let him go?

Because I have given our relationship enough and now I feel like I am at the point where I can’t give anymore.


I want to let him go because I want to live in the flow of life.


I want to let him go because my peace is not worth any relationship or other person. Lately, it has cost me my peace to deal with him and peace is the most important thing to me.


I want to let him go because although I was told that he is my soulmate, I am not sure.


I want to let him go because I am done proving that I am worthy of someone else’s attention and feeling as though I am not the only receiving his attention. 


I want to let him go because I am not sure of the outcome, all that I know is that I trust The Universe and separation feels best right now.


I want to let him go because I want to reserve my energy and time for people and situations that allow me to embrace love fully.


I want to let him go because it feels like one of the best decisions that I have made in a while. He is on a path that I don’t see myself on and it’s okay.


I love him, I forgive him and I release him.

4 raisons pour lesquelles je ne serai pas fâché contre ma récente rupture.

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Cest drôle de voir comment nous pensons être en relation avec celui-là jusqu’à ce que tout à coup nous ne le soyons plus. Je suis coupable de croire que la relation dans laquelle je suis est «la seule» parce que je suis romantique et que je crois que l’amour a une chance.


J'ai récemment mis fin à une relation amoureuse et même si c'était difficile à faire, je pense que c'était mieux. Quand j'étais plus jeune, je mettrais fin aux relations et me distancerais des gens s'ils m'avaient blessé. Ce qui, maintenant, n'est pas toujours le cas.


Parfois, deux personnes peuvent être merveilleuses mais avoir le mauvais timing ou des projets différents pour l’avenir. En vieillissant, je me rends compte que l'amour n'est pas suffisant pour faire durer une relation malgré les difficultés. Donc, maintenant, quand je traverse une rupture, je ne suis plus en colère contre elle.


Voici 4 raisons pour lesquelles je ne serai pas fâché de ma récente rupture:


1. C'est un bon gars.


Si je pouvais choisir un partenaire idéal, ce serait lui. Il est gentil, aimant, mature, compatissant et plein de sagesse. Je sais dans mon cœur qu’il rendra quelqu'un heureux, mais que ce ne sera pas forcément moi. L’expérience de la vie m’a appris que le fait que quelqu'un soit formidable ne signifie pas qu’il est formidable pour vous.


C’est un concept difficile à saisir parce que nous voulons conserver des choses qui nous sont bénéfiques et nous entourer de bonnes personnes. Cependant, deux bonnes personnes indépendantes ne correspondent pas toujours à un bon couple.



2. La colère peut être égarée.


Au cours de notre rupture, je me suis égaré perdre ma colère. Je commençais à être fâché de la façon dont d'autres hommes m'avaient traitée et j'ai commencé à me l'envoyer. Mon passé n’est pas son problème et, s’il n’a rien fait pour que je sois fâché contre lui, il ne mérite pas ma colère.



3. Nous avons de bons souvenirs.


Je pourrais passer mes journées à regarder le passé et à compter ce qu’il a mal fait, mais cela ne serait injuste pour aucun d’entre nous car nous avons tous ensemble de très bons souvenirs. Je choisis de me souvenir des bons souvenirs parce que nous en avons beaucoup plus que des souvenirs blessants. Les bons souvenirs me rappellent pourquoi j'ai choisi d'entrer dans la relation et je choisirai d'en entrer une autre à l'avenir.




4.Je referais tout si je pouvais


Même si c'est fini, je referais tout. Je m'ouvrirais de nouveau à lui, je parlerais au téléphone tous les jours, je lui tiendrais la main, je ris de nouveau avec lui, je le tenais de nouveau et lui envoyais de nouveau des notes d'amour. Parce qu'avec l'amour, il y a toujours une chance que ça finisse. Le fait que cela se termine ne signifie pas que nous cessons d’aimer et que nous devenions amers, mais que nous donnons à tous notre conscience du fait que nous sommes reconnaissants d’avoir quelque chose que tous ne possèdent pas.

4 Reasons why I will not be angry about my recent beak-up.

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It’s funny how we think we’re in a relationship with the one until, all of a sudden, we aren’t. I am guilty of believing that the relationship I am in is ‘the one’ because I am a romantic and I believe in love having a chance.


I recently ended a romantic relationship and although it was difficult to do, I feel that it was best. When I was younger, I would end relationships and distance myself from people if they had hurt me. Which, now, is not always the case.


Sometimes, two people can be wonderful but have the wrong timing or different plans for the future. As I grow older, I realize that love is not enough to make a relationship sustain through difficulty. So, now when I go through a break-up, I am no longer angry about it.


Here are 4 reasons why I won’t be angry about my recent break-up:


1. He is a great guy.


If I could pick a perfect partner, it would be him. He is kind, loving, mature, compassionate and full of wisdom. I know in my heart that he will make someone happy but that someone doesn’t have to be me. Life experience has taught me that just because someone is great, doesn’t mean that that someone is great for you.

It’s a difficult concept to grasp because we want to hold onto things that benefit us and surround ourselves with good people. However, two good people that are independent do not always equal a good couple.



2. Anger can be misplaced.


During our break-up, I noticed myself misplacing my anger. I started to feel angry about how other men had treated me and started placing it on me. My past is not his issue and, if he has not done anything for me to be angry at him for, then he does not deserve my anger.



3. We have great memories.


I could spend my days looking at the past and counting what he did wrong but that wouldn’t be fair to either of us because we have so many great memories together. I am choosing to remember the great memories because we have many more great memories than hurtful ones. The great memories remind me of why I chose to enter the relationship and I will choose to enter another in the future.



4. I would do it all again if I could.


Even though it has ended, I would do it all again. I would open myself up to him again, talk on the phone everyday, hold his hand again, laugh with him again, hold him again and send him love notes again. Because with love, there is always a chance that it will end. Just because it will end, doesn’t mean that we stop loving and become bitter, it means that we give our all knowing how grateful we are to have something that not everyone has.

Izinto ezingaphezulu ezingu-6 ngifisa sengathi ngingayazi ngaphambi kobudlelwano bami bokuqala.

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Isiko laseNtshonalanga liye labonisa umqondo wokubambisana. Kusukela lapho siyizingane, sikhuliswa ukuba sikholwe ukuthi impilo futhi asanele kuze kube yilapho sithola omunye umuntu.




Ngakho-ke, iningi lethu lithemba ukuthola umuntu ukuthi afane nemibono yethu yalokho lo mlingani. Ukuba nomlingani kuhle; Nokho, lesi siko sothando asikhulumi ngezinto eziningi ezibalulekile. Okuwukuthi okudingeka uvikeleke ngaphakathi kwakho ukuba ube nobuhlobo obuhle kuqala.




Nazi ezinye izinto eziyisithupha engifisa ukuthi ngizozifunda ngaphambi kobudlelwano bami bokuqala.




1. Impilo iza kuqala.

Ngichitha iminyaka eminingi ngicabanga ukuthi othandweni lobuhlobo luza kuqala. Yebo, uthando lubalulekile; Nokho, injabulo kuqala. Ngeshwa, ungamthanda umuntu owenza ungathokozi futhi uthande umuntu ongathokozi. Ubudlelwano bungaphezu kokuthandana: ukuhambisana, ukwethenjwa, ukwethembeka, inhlonipho nenjabulo nakho kubalulekile ebuhlotsheni. Abantu ababili abangajabuli ebuhlotsheni kuyinhlekelele futhi bayamelana ne-Universe; Kodwa-ke, abantu ababili abajabulayo basiza ukubuyisela nokuphakamisa amandla weThe Universe.



2. Gcwalisa wena.

Enye inganekwane yokuthi sithengiswa ebuhlotsheni yilelo, omunye umuntu angakuqedela. Iqiniso ukuthi nguwe kuphela ongaziqedela wena. Ngaphandle kokuthi ukholelwe ukuthi unelisekile, othile angakunxusa futhi ngeke uliqonde. Ukuze senze okuthile, sidinga ukuyiqonda ngokugcwele futhi okufanayo kuya kulokhu. Gcwalisa wena kuqala ngaphambi kokuzama ukuqedela omunye umuntu futhi ulindele ukuthi omunye umuntu akuqede.




3. Yenza okungaphezu kokushumayela kwakho.

Kwangithatha ubuhlobo obuncane ukuqonda ukuthi indlela oziphatha ngayo ebuhlotsheni kubaluleke kakhulu kunalokho okushoyo ukuthi uzoziphatha. Nginecala lokutshela lowo owayengumlingani wami ukuthi ngizobonisa futhi cha. Ebudlelwaneni bami bamanje, ngiye ngaphawula ukuthi uma ngibonisa futhi ngivulekile, kunjalo naye. Ngendlela efanayo. Izwi elithi, 'khombisa ngesibonelo' liphinde lisebenze ebuhlotsheni ngoba ubudlelwane buyisibonelo salokho okubekayo, ubuyela emuva.




4. Amageyimu afanele izingane; hhayi abantu abadala.

Ngichithe isikhathi esiningi ngidlala imidlalo ebuhlotsheni: ngizama ukuxhaphaza izimo ngokungafuni. Kuzo zonke izidakamizwa engake ngadala ngokudlala imidlalo, ngafunda ukuthi nginguye kuphela ohluphekayo. Uma ngingamanga futhi ngiphatha kabi, ngingahle ngiphile ngokuzisola uma izinto zingasebenzi. Futhi emidlalweni, isikhathi esiningi, ubuhlobo abusebenzi ngoba omunye uzama ukulawula omunye. Ngokuvamile azisebenzi ngenxa yokuthi inhlonipho yomunye umuntu iphuma efasiteleni. Ngezinye izikhathi lapho umlingani wami engaphenduli emilayezo yami, ingxenye yami iyangena futhi ithi, 'singamthola kanjani ukuba aphendule?' Kodwa-ke, ngikhulula isidingo sokumlawula ngoba lokho esinakho kubaluleke kakhulu kimi ukulahlekelwa ngaphezu komdlalo.




5. Ukunamathela komunye umuntu akuphilile.

Kuyinto evamile ukuthi uma uthola okuthile, ungase ufune ukubambelela kuwo futhi ungawushiyi. Nokho, lokhu kungabetha abantu. Abantu badinga indawo ukuze babe ngabanye futhi bakhule. Ukubamba komunye umuntu uhlobo lwe-codependency futhi ubudlelwano obuphilile abukwenziwe ngokusekelwe ku-codependency. Zakhiwa ngokusekelwe enhlonipho nasekuthandeni, hhayi ngokuphoqa umuntu ukuba abe nawe.




6. Yiba nesibindi futhi uze njengoba ukhona.

Kungaba umonakalo ekuqaleni kobudlelwane, uzibuze ukuthi unelungelo lomunye umuntu. Ikakhulu uma uthanda lo muntu okuningi. Kodwa-ke, uma othile ethanda noma ethanda ngombono wakho ngokuphambene nawe, akulungile kuwe noma omunye umuntu. Kungase kusabe ukuthembeka futhi ukuthi ungubani ngempela ngoba kudinga ukulimala. Kodwa, uma unganiki umuntu wakho weqiniso futhi awusebenzi, ungase uphendule futhi uzisole uma ubuqiniso. Kuzwakala i-clichéd ngoba kuyiqiniso: uma umuntu engakuthandi ngawe, bese ushiya isikhala somuntu owenza ngoba kukhona umuntu ngaphandle lapho owenzayo.

I have found true love and respect.

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I have found true love and respect. He is in the form of someone who believes in the order of life. He believes that everything happens for a reason, and that we have met for a reason.

His belief is shown through his behaviour towards life and me. He wakes up enthusiastic about life and what he has to offer life. Thus, appreciating what life has to offer him.


He believes in equality so for the first time in my romantic life, I am not the only one giving my time and energy this time around.

He sees the silver-lining in clouds during stormy times. When difficulties arise between one another he, just like I, will look to the light to make it out of stormy weather.

Because he believes in peace& love and he has no reason to belittle me, name-call me or disappear when things are not going his way.

He goes out of his way to appreciate the things in his life- including me.


I have found true love and respect.

6 more things I wish I had learnt before my first relationship.

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Western culture has romanticized the idea of partnership. From the time that we are kids, we are raised to believe that life and we are not enough until we find someone else.


So, many of us are desperate to find someone to match our ideas of what that partner is. Having a partner is great; however, this romantic culture does not mention many important things. One being that you need to be secure within yourself to be in a healthy relationship first.


Here are six more things that I wish I’d learnt before my first relationship.


1. Health comes first.

I spent many years thinking that in a relationship love comes first. Yes, love is important; however, happiness is first. Unfortunately, you can love someone who makes you unhappy and love someone who you make unhappy. Relationships are about more than love: compatibility, trust, loyalty, respect and happiness are also important in a relationship. Two unhappy people in a relationship is a disaster and a disservice to The Universe; however, two happy people help to restore and raise the energy of The Universe.


2. Complete yourself.

Another myth that we are sold in relationships is that, someone else can complete you. The truth is that only you can complete yourself. Unless you believe that you are enough, someone can yell it to you and you won’t understand it. In order to practice something, we need to fully understand it and the same goes for this. Complete yourself first before you attempt to complete someone else and expect someone else to complete you.


3. Practice more than you preach.

It took me a few relationships to understand that how you behave in a relationship is more important than how you say you will behave. I have been guilty of telling a former partner that I will show up and not. In my current relationship, I have noticed that if I show up and am open, so does he. Vice versa. The saying, ‘lead by example’ also applies to relationships because relationships are an example of what you put out, you get back.


4. Games are for kids; not adults.

I’ve spent a lot of time playing games in relationships: trying to manipulate situations by being insincere. In all the mess that I once created by playing games, I learnt that I’m the only one that suffers. If I am untrue and manipulative, I might have to live with regret when things don’t work out. And in games, most of the time, relationships do not work out because the one is trying to control the other. They usually don’t work out because respect of the other person goes out the window. Sometimes when my partner doesn’t reply to my messages, a part of me sneaks up and says, ‘how can we get him to reply?’ However, I then release the need to control him because what we have is too important to me to lose over a game.


5. Clinging to someone is not healthy.

It’s normal that when you find something, you might want to cling to it and never let it go. However, this can smother people. People need space to be themselves and to grow. Holding onto someone else is a form of codependency and healthy relationships are not formed based on codependency. They are formed based on respect and love, not forcing someone to be with you.


6. Be sincere and come as you are.

It can be overwhelming in the beginning of a relationship, wondering if you are enough for someone else. Especially when you like the person a lot. However, if someone likes or falls in love with an idea of you as opposed to you, it is not fair to you or the other person. It might be scary to be sincere and who you really are because it requires vulnerability. But, if you don’t give your true self and it doesn’t work out, you might question and regret if you were authentic. It sounds clichéd because it’s true: if someone doesn’t like you for you, then leave space for someone who does because there is someone out there who does.

Why do I want to forgive myself.

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 Why do I want to forgive myself?

Because holding grudges against myself is self-inflicted torture.


I want to forgive myself because now I know better than how I did before.


I want to forgive myself because forgiveness is true freedom.


I want to forgive myself because I fell into the trap of feeling less than and unworthy. I am out and I am grateful.


I want to forgive myself because even though I had to learn the lesson again, I have finally learnt that who a man is to the world and how much money he has, does not make him worthy of my love.


I want to forgive myself because freedom is a mental state. It is completely free; all that I have to do is change my mindset.


I want to forgive myself because my previous anger showed me what I needed heal and it might take a lifetime of healing.


I want to forgive myself because today is too precious to hold onto yesterday.


I want to forgive myself because only I can truly hold myself back from this present moment.

Qu'est-ce qu'il a fallu pour vous atteindre.

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Il m'a fallu me ramollir pour vous atteindre.




Il m'a fallu que je vous apprécie pour vous rencontrer.




Il a fallu un vrai pardon pour vous atteindre.




Il a fallu un respect fondamental pour vous avoir.




Il a fallu relâcher le contrôle pour vous atteindre.




Il a fallu vous laisser entrer pour vous rejoindre.




Il m'a fallu être en paix avec moi-même pour vous avoir.




Il m'a fallu baisser la garde pour vous atteindre.




Il m'a fallu pardonner mon passé pour vous atteindre.




Il m'a fallu entendre ce que vous avez à dire pour vous atteindre.




Il m'a fallu accepter l'amour pour vous atteindre.




Il m'a fallu croire pour te rejoindre.

What it took to get to you- part 2.

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 What it took to get to you.


It took me softening up to get to you.


It took me appreciating you to get to you.


It took true forgiveness to get to you.


It took fundamental respect to get you.


It took releasing control to get to you.


It took letting you in to get to you.


It took me being at peace with myself to get you.


It took me letting down my guard to get to you.


It took me forgiving my past to get to you.


It took me hearing what you have to say to get to you.


It took me accepting love to get to you.


It took me believing to get to you.

Why do I want to forgive you.

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 Why do I want to forgive you?

Because I can feel your pain.


I know that you are probably blaming yourself for what happened and it’s un-necessary.


I want to forgive you because you are not a bad person.


I want to forgive you because even though we love each other, we are not meant to be together.


I want to forgive you because I am done hating you. If I hate you, I only hate me and hate has been weighing heavy on my heart lately. 


I want to forgive you because I want you to find peace, freedom, happiness and joy- just as I have found it.


I want to forgive you because I know that you were only ever doing the best that you could.


I want to forgive you because I know that you are (still) only doing the best that you ever could.


I want to forgive you because I decided to leave force alone.


I want to forgive you because you are free to behave however you wish; my judgement and cynicism has come to an end as I move onto the next chapter of my life.


I want to forgive you because I have chosen to cut the chord between us. No more hate, no more fear. Only love.


Love for me and love for you, separately.

4 choses que j'ai apprises approche dai

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Je suis une personne qui donne à cent pour cent à tout ce que je fais et cela inclut l'amour. Donc, je n’ai jamais vraiment été un "Dater"; Seule une personne qui a investi temps et énergie dans ses relations, qu’elles aient duré un mois ou cinq ans, je crois qu’il faut tout donner pour éviter les regrets.




Malheureusement, la plupart des hommes avec qui je suis sorti n'ont pas la même mentalité et quand une personne qui donne à cent pour cent a une relation avec quelqu'un qui en donne cinquante, cela conduit souvent à un chagrin d'amour.


Bien que je crois que le chagrin est nécessaire pour apprendre une leçon, il est inutile d'apprendre encore et encore la même leçon. Quand une leçon est apprise, il est temps de passer à autre chose après.



Je crois qu'être dans une relation est un moyen pour vous de grandir au maximum. Qu'il s'agisse d'apprendre à accepter que nous ne pouvons pas changer les gens ou d'apprendre vos limites, les relations sont des opportunités de développement.




Voici 4 dictons que j'applique aux relations et aux rencontres pour aider le processus de croissance:




1. Pourquoi passer votre temps à forcer quand il est si bon de se sentir à l'aise?

Je suis une personnalité de type A. Ce qui a une connotation négative, mais cela signifie simplement que lorsque je veux quelque chose, je le cherche. J'ai passé de nombreuses années à appliquer cette mentalité aux relations pour découvrir que les personnes n'étaient pas des listes de contrôle. Je ne peux pas poursuivre quelqu'un et le forcer à m'aimer s'il ne s'intéresse pas à moi. Contrairement aux objectifs, les gens ont le choix s’ils veulent être avec vous ou non et je préférerais être avec quelqu'un qui veut être avec moi; comme opposer à chasser quelqu'un au début et tout au long de la relation. Poursuivre quelqu'un qui m'aime en dit plus long sur moi que sur eux, mais sur le fait que je ne me sens pas comme si je méritais quelqu'un que je n'ai pas à convaincre d'aimer parce que je me sens indigne. Donc, si je choisis d’être avec quelqu'un avec qui je n’ai pas à me battre, cela me rappelle que je suis digne d’amour.




2. Que la personne qui aime soit.

J'ai parcouru un long chemin avec ça. Auparavant, j'étais le genre de personne qui examinait ce qui manquait à mon partenaire et comment je pouvais réparer ce que je n'aimais pas chez eux. Cependant, j'ai appris et j'apprends encore que je ne suis pas celui qui peut imposer le changement à un autre. Je dois accepter et aimer la personne avec laquelle je suis ou ne pas être en relation avec elle. Il y a une différence entre encouragement et force. L'encouragement dit: "Voici un indice, prenez-le ou laissez-le." Force dit: "Voici un indice, prenez-le ou autre." Plus je vieillis, plus je perds d'énergie, forçant les gens à être ceux que je veux. être. Si Dieu les accepte comme ils sont, moi aussi.




3. Vous pouvez aimer après le chagrin.

L'année dernière, quelques médiums aléatoires m'ont dit que je finirais avec quelqu'un. Il m'a fallu du temps et un peu de chagrin pour comprendre que cette personne n'est pas celle avec laquelle je veux qu'elle soit dans une relation. Et ça va. Il est assez comme il est. J'ai dû mettre mes sentiments de côté et accepter le fait que nous ne sommes pas censés être ensemble, indépendamment de ce que certaines personnes auraient pu dire. Et, dès que j'ai fait cela, je me suis retrouvé dans une aventure romantique avec quelqu'un d'autre. Avec cette autre personne, j'obtiens exactement ce que j'ai toujours voulu et je sens que c'est la vraie chose. Donc, il y a définitivement l'amour après le chagrin.



 

4. L’amour ne te va pas toujours.

On m'a montré cela maintes et maintes fois dans ma vie. En tant que personne qui a failli se marier deux fois et qui a demandé une autre fois mais qui a refusé, je sais vraiment que l’amour ne va pas comme nous l’attendons. Il n'est pas nécessaire de placer des attentes sur l'amour et les gens. Parce que les attentes ne mèneront qu'à la déception et au chagrin d'amour. J'ai appris à gérer les choses pas à pas et au jour le jour, car une année peut être très différente de celle d'aujourd'hui.

The 4 sayings that I use to approach dating and relationships.

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I am a person who gives a hundred percent to everything that I do and, that includes love. So, I’ve never been much of a ‘Dater’; only someone who invested time and energy into relationships, whether they lasted a month or five years, I believe in giving everything to avoid regret.


Unfortunately, most of the men that I have dated have not had the same mentality and when a person who gives a hundred percent is in a relationship with someone who gives fifty, it often leads to heartbreak.


Although I believe that heartbreak is necessary to learn a lesson, there is no point in learning the same lesson over and over. When a lesson is learnt, it is time to move on afterwards.


I believe that being in a relationship is way for you to grow to your maximum. Whether it is learning to accept that we can’t change people or whether it’s learning your boundaries, relationships are opportunities to grow.


Here are 4 sayings that I apply to relationships and dating to help the growth process:


1. Why spend your time forcing when it can feel so good to be at ease?

I’m a Type A personality. Which, has a negative connotation but it just means that when I want something, I go after it. I spent many years applying this mentality to relationships only to discover that people are not checklists. I can’t go after someone and force them to like me if they aren’t interested in me. Unlike goals, people have a choice if they want to be with you or not and I would prefer to be with someone who wants to be with me; as oppose to chase down someone in the beginning and throughout the relationship. Chasing down someone to love me says more about me than it does about them, it says that I don’t feel like I deserve someone who I don’t have to convince to love because I feel unworthy. So, if I choose to be with someone that I don’t have to fight to be with, it reminds me that I am worthy of love.


2. Let the person that love be.

I’ve come a long way with this. I used to be the kind of person who would look at what my partner lacked and how I could fix what I didn’t like about them. However, I have learnt and am still learning that I am not the one who can enforce change on another. I have to accept and love the person that I am with or not be in a relationship with them. There is a difference between encouragement and force. Encouragement says, ‘Here is a hint, take it or leave it.’ Force says, ‘Here is a hint, take it or else.’ The older that I get, I lose more energy forcing people to be who I want them to be. If God accepts them the way that they are then so do I.


3. You can love after heartbreak.

Last year, I was told by a few random psychics that I would end up with someone. It took me some time and some heartbreak to realize that this person is not where I want him to be to be in a relationship with. And, it’s okay. He is enough as he is. I had to put my feelings aside and accept that we are not meant to be together regardless of what some people might have said. And, as soon as I did that, I found myself in a romantic endeavour with someone else. With this other person, I get exactly what I have always wanted and feel like this is the real thing. So, there is definitely love after heartbreak.


4. Love doesn’t always go your way.

I’ve been shown this over and over again in my life. As someone who almost got married twice and asked another time but declined, I truly know that love doesn’t go how we expect it. There is no need to place expectations on love and people. Because expectations will only lead to disappointment and heartache. I have learnt to take things step-by-step and day-by-day because a year can look very different from today, it is supposed to.

What it took to get to you.

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It took a lot to get to you.

 

It took us meeting to get to you.


It took us being friends to get to you.


It took us having genuine respect for each other to get you.


It took us messing up to get you.


It took us forgiving one another to get to you.


It took us being apart to get to you.


It took me dealing with jerks to get to you.


It took me being across the country to get to you.


It took me understanding you to get to you.


It took me releasing control to get to you.


It took me letting go over my life expectations to get to you.


It took me understanding myself to get to you.


It took me respecting myself to get to you.


It took me accepting you to get to you.

4 cosas que he aprendido sobre el amor.

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En mis casi treinta años de vida y la mitad de esa vida pasé saliendo o en una relación. No he aprendido todo, pero he aprendido mucho. Durante y después de cada relación, me he esforzado por aprender en qué pude haber trabajado o aprendido para no volver a hacerlo.


Esto es lo que he aprendido:


1. El amor no es suficiente.

Cuando era niña, veía películas que implicaban que una vez que las personas descubrieran el amor, sus vidas serían completas. Adopté esta mentalidad y aprendí en mis veinte años que vivir con esta mentalidad solo me decepcionaría. Un primer recuerdo de esto es cuando mi ex-prometido me llamaba palabras humillantes y me engañaba. Cuando me enfrentaba a él, él se disculpaba y pedía perdón porque decía que me amaba. Porque estaba en esa mentalidad, le creí; Sólo para verlo seguir comportándose así una y otra vez. Verás, necesitaba más que amor para mí; Él necesitaba tener respeto, compasión y amabilidad para mí también. Hasta que aprendiera a tener esos otros 3 factores, continuaría tratándome como siempre lo había hecho.



2. El amor es poderoso.

¿Alguna vez has amado a alguien tanto que solo verlo hace sonreír a tu corazón? Lo he hecho muchas veces porque el amor es poderoso. El amor puede alterar temporalmente tu salud mental y tener un impacto en cómo piensas, hablas y actúas. En mi opinión, no hay nada más poderoso que el amor.



3. El amor no puede ser reemplazado.

Honestamente creo que la razón por la que sufrimos en esta vida es porque pasamos nuestras vidas huyendo del amor, por miedo a ser vulnerables y lo reemplazamos con cosas innecesarias, como: dinero, posesiones, juegos y emociones. Hacemos esto porque queremos tener poder sobre el amor; tememos profundamente que el amor pueda tener poder sobre nosotros y nos haga sufrir aún más. He venido a aprender que el amor no debe ser reemplazado; pero, destinado a ser abrazado.



4. Abrazar el amor vale la pena.

Lo único de lo que realmente me he arrepentido es no decirle a alguien que amé que lo amo. En mi último año de bachillerato, me enamoré locamente de una de mis mejores amigas y me di cuenta de que él sentía lo mismo por mí. La gente pensaba que éramos pareja porque siempre estábamos juntos. Cada vez que pensaba en decirle mis sentimientos, temía que me rechazaran como antes y eso me impedía abrazar lo que realmente sentía y decirle cómo me sentía. Después de la preparatoria, tomamos caminos separados y él comenzó a salir con su (ahora) esposa. Sentí sincero arrepentimiento por lo sucedido. En última instancia, quería lo mejor para él, pero no pude evitar preguntarme si era lo mejor para él una vez que descubrí que se iba a casar hace unos años. Hice una promesa de decirle siempre a alguien que los amaba porque sentir arrepentimiento es peor que saber que esa persona sabe cómo te sientes acerca de ellos.

The 4 Things That I have learnt about love.

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In my almost thirty years of living and half of that lifetime spent dating or in a relationship .I haven’t learnt everything but I have learnt a lot. During and after every relationship, I have made an effort to learn what I could’ve worked on or learnt so that I don’t do it again.


Here is what I have learnt:


1. Love is not enough.

When I was a little girl, I would watch movies that implied that once people discovered love, their lives would be complete. I adopted this mentality and I learnt in my early twenties that living with this mindset would only disappoint me. An early memory of this is when my ex-fiancé would call me demeaning words and cheat on me. When I would confront him, he would apologize and beg for forgiveness because he claimed to love me. Because I was in that mindset, I believed him; only to see him continue to behave like that over and over. You see, he needed more than love for me; he needed to have respect, compassion and kindness for me too. Until he learnt to have those other 3 factors, he would continue to treat me the way he always had.


2. Love is powerful.

Have you ever loved someone so much that the very sight of them makes your heart smile? I have, many times because love is powerful. Love can temporarily alter your mental health and have an impact of how you think, speak and act. In my opinion, there is nothing more powerful than love.


3. Love cannot be replaced.

I honestly believe that the reason why we suffer in this life is because we spend our lives running away from love, for fear of being vulnerable and we replace it with un-necessary things, like: money, possessions, games and emotions. We do this because we want to have power over love; we deeply fear that love can have power over us and it makes us suffer even more. I’ve come to learn that love is not meant to be replaced; but, meant to be embraced.


4. Embracing love is worth it.

The only thing that I have ever really regretted is not telling someone that I loved that I love them. In my last year of High School, I fell madly-in-love with one of my best friends and I could tell that he felt the same way about me. People thought that we were a couple because we were always together. Whenever I thought about telling him my feelings, I became afraid that I would be rejected like I was before and it stopped me from embracing how I truly felt and telling him how I felt. After High School, we went our separate ways and he began dating his (now) wife. I felt sincere regret about what had happened. Ultimately, I wanted the best for him but I couldn’t help but question if I was the best for him once I found out that he was getting married a few years ago. I made a promise to always tell someone that I loved them because feeling regret is worse than knowing that that person knows how you feel about them.

Why do I want to forgive him?

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 Why do I want to forgive him?

Because what will holding onto him do for me? It didn't help me in the past. So how will it help me in the future?

I want to forgive him because I was actually the one who lied. I lied to myself about who he had shown me to be. He was himself, I believed the idea of him- not who he really is. I move forward with the truth, and the truth is that he didn't respect me.

I want to forgive him because my loving heart has no space to store all the hurt from the past. There is more to life than remembering what is wrong with everyone, especially someone that I want to do nothing more with.

I want to forgive him because no one is perfect and in this imperfect human body I am in no state to hold anything against anyone. I want to forgive him because I am not perfect- others have forgiven me too.