I’ve been pretty open about how happy I am being single and without my former partner. Sometimes, however, we can confuse statements like this as a reason to hate someone or anyone in this World. But, no one deserves that much energy and effort- especially if it’s negative.
I’ve learnt many things about relationships from being in them and from people around me. And, one of the major things that I have learnt is that when you hate someone, they control your life. It is definitely much easier said than done. But, I believe that if I am being asked to be a stronger person, I can and will rise to the occasion.
Here are 4 reasons why I will never hate my ex:
1. Hate is negative power at its height.
It’s easy to hate. I know because I’ve spent a lot of my life hating people for treating me a certain way, thinking a particular way or for just for being different. But, what I have understood about this is that the only person it really affects is The Hater. Hate builds walls, creates animosity and tension. All of which, I would be experiencing if I choose to hate him. If I truly believe in making The World a better place, then it is my responsibility to ensure that I do the best that I can. That involves releasing hate for people who I believe to have done me wrong.
2. He is human.
I believe in transparency and would be lying if I said that his behaviour doesn’t sometimes bother me. Even though his actions towards me are currently vengeful and angry; I still see a human. Yes, I have chosen to not be with him but I don’t have to vilify him like he is trying to do to me. His path is his; mine is my own. If I respond to his behaviour with the same energy, I am fueling it. So, I would rather let it go and move on with my life.
3. I am human.
When we first broke up, I tried so hard to do it in a peaceful way because I was afraid of being seen as mean or evil- especially as a woman. I’ve never been able to be friends with any of my exes and that has affected me. I carried a deep burden that I need to be friends with my former partners because a lot of people that I know can. In honour of this, I bent over backwards trying to appease my recent ex because I was afraid to be seen in a bad light. I didn’t want anyone to label me as the one who can’t keep a relationship or stay cordial with the person that she spent so much time with. He knew this and used it against me. It is water under the bridge. However, I understand fully that I am human and that I don’t have to always be seen in the best light. I have to make the right decision for me and my health, whether anyone else likes it or not. I am okay with people judging me because I am only human and I will not live according to other people’s standards- I am not meant to.
4. Hate is bonding.
If I am truly done with my former relationship then there is no reason to hold on to it anymore. Not everyday is peachy and rosy when I think about him, particularly when it is visible how much negativity he has for me right now because I hear songs that he wrote about me that play frequently. I am not a victim; I can feel what I need to feel and then move on with peace because when we feel extremely passionate (in a good or bad way) we stay tied to that person. I have chosen to release him no matter what he might say or do to me because the past is not worth being tied down to.