life

I have hope that I will find true love and respect.

Image from Unsplash

Image from Unsplash

I have hope that I will find true love and respect. 

He is in the form of someone who gives me space as much as I give him. 


I have hope that I will find true love and respect. 

He understands what a woman goes through in life, as much as I understand what a man goes through as well. 


I have hope that I will find true love and respect. 

He clearly communicates the boundaries of respect that he requires without being mean or harsh. 


I have hope that I will find true love and respect. 

He believes that I have something unique to offer him and keeps returning for that specialty. 


I have hope that I will find true love and respect. 

He has grown enough to understand that some space doesn’t mean distance, it can allow growth and love to flourish.



The 12 Ways that love describes what it is.

Image from Unsplash

Image from Unsplash

As Sadghuru says, ‘Love is not something you do, it is something you are’. 


Love can be described as many different things but hateful, vengeful and resentful is not one of those things that it can embody. Sometimes when we love someone, we forget what love is and we get caught up in negativity and battles because of our own past hurt, judgements and cloudy perspectives. 


So, I came up with a list of 12 affirmations of what love would say if love could speak. 


Love says:


1. I am pure. 


2. You are worthy of me. 


3. I am not a competition. 


4. I do not equal jobs, money, titles, weight and security. 


5. I require work. 


6. The most of me you will feel, is within yourself. 


7. I am the most powerful force on the planet. 


8. Even though some people resist me, I always win. 


9. I heal and unite people, out of free-will. 


10. If you want to embrace me truly, you have to be honest with yourself. 


11. I do not require domination or control. 


12. Manipulation and I are two very different things.

I’m ready

Image by Unsplash

Image by Unsplash

I’m ready 

Ready to face this World without you. 


I’m starting a new chapter that is mine. 

And, in this book there’s no wrong or right. 


So, leave me to do what I need to do. 

‘Cause I don’t want to do anything close to what you do. 


I’m ready to be free. 

I’m ready to be me. 


So what? You thought you could ruin my plans. 

And, destroy all the emotions that I have. 


I’m so glad that you were mean. 

So that I could see all the things that I’ve seen. 


So, leave me to do what I need to do. 

‘Cause I don’t want to be anything close to what you do. 


I’m ready to face all of my fears. 

I’m ready to be me. 



Izizathu ezi-4 zokuthi kungani kuyisikhathi sokwakha i-paradigm entsha yobudlelwano ngokususelwa othandweni nasekuhloniphe.

Isitombe se-Unsplash

Isitombe se-Unsplash

Noma ngingumuntu othanda amasiko athile, angiyena fan wokuqhubeka namasiko angabasizi futhi abaqinisayo. Njengomuntu osecishe washada kabili futhi wabuza ezinye izikhathi ezimbalwa kunalokho, ngokweqiniso angiqinisekile ukuthi ngizoshada. Engikulungele.

Isikhathi esiningi lapho ngikusho lokhu ngokuzwakalayo kumuntu othile, baphendula ngokuthi, 'Ungasho njalo!' - kungathi ukungashadi kuyisiqalekiso. Uma ngingowesifazane ongashadi, ngikulungele lokho ngoba izindinganiso zomlingani engifuna ukushada naye ziphakeme. Futhi, uma ngingatholanga umuntu ohlangabezana nalokho okulindelwe kule nkathi yokuphila, ngingcono ngaphandle kwalokho.

Ngisanda kukhunjuzwa ngokwenzeka lapho sihlala futhi sinikela ngaphezu kwalokho esikutholayo, sikhathala. Bengikhathele kakhulu ubudlelwano bami bokugcina, okwamanje, angisakwazi nokukhuluma naye. Umcabango wokumbona uyangixosha. Kepha akuyena yedwa okufanele asolwe. Ngihambisane nemicabango yami nenhlalonhle ejwayelekile ngenxa yesiko. Okungukuthi, angisoze ngakwenza futhi.

Nazi izizathu ezine zokuthi kungani sidinga ukudala i-paradigm entsha yobudlelwano ngokusekelwe othandweni nasekuhlonipheni:

1. Iparadigm endala yobudlelwano ayisebenzi.

Ngaphandle kokuthi uhlala emhumeni, kufanele wazi ukuthi sigcwala kanjani ngamahlebezi osaziwayo noma imibhangqwana eyaziwayo ehlukana.

Ngokwalokho engikubonile nengibonile, ezimeni eziningi, indoda ikopela umuntu wesifazane futhi kufanele anqume ukuhlala noma ukuhamba. Impendulo ejwayelekile kulokho ukuthi, 'Amadoda azoba amadoda.' Yiliphi isiko lakudala. Umbono wokuthi umuntu angakwazi ukuguqula ngokususelwa ekukhulisweni kwakhe awunangqondo. Ngoba uma umuntu emthanda ngokweqiniso omunye, bayovuka babe ngumuntu ongcono kumlingani wakhe noma bavumele omunye wabo obalulekile ukuthi athole omunye umuntu ongeke aqhubeke nokubalimaza. Ngiqedile ukuzwa, 'abafana bazoba ngabafana' noma 'amadoda akopela' ngoba lokho kwehlisa kuphela amazinga wohlobo lwabantu okufanele sifise ukuba yilo. Abantu abahloniphayo futhi badala ukuthula ezimpilweni zabanye.

2.Izindima zobulili ziyaphela.

Akumele ube ongashisi kanambambili ukubona ukuthi umbono wakudala wobudlelwano bendoda nowesifazane awusebenzi. Sake sathengiswa isithombe- somndeni ophelele wendoda sibona owesifazane amthandayo futhi amenza owakhe. Owesifazane ube esechitha ubudlelwane emgcina noma ephoqa ukuthi ashintshe. Lokho kwaba ubuhlobo bami bokugcina. Futhi, engikufundile ukuthi konke kuyisihibe. Kuyindlela nje yokugcina idrama nezinkinga ezungezile ngoba othile uzohlala ecasule enye. Engihlangabezane nakho ngokuba yisimo sothando esinjengalesi, ukuthi izindlela ezilinganayo zilingana. Ubudlelwano obuphilile buthuthukisa ukulingana nenhlonipho, hhayi ukuthi ngubani onemali ethe xaxa, othola izingane, owaziwa kakhulu, owenza okuningi noma owazalwa owesilisa noma owesifazane. Zisuselwa othandweni nasekuhlonipheni.

3. Ukwethemba kufanele kufike ngaphambi kokuvikelwa.

Uma ngikhuluma nabantu abaningi ngobudlelwano, ngiphatheka kabi. Kuyangiphatha kabi ukuthi iningi labantu lingena ebudlelwaneni noma emishadweni lilindele okubi kakhulu futhi lidinga ukuzivikela. Ngake ngaba khona phambilini, lapho ngangesaba ukuthi izinto zizolunga nomuntu engimthanda kakhulu. Ngenxa yalokhu kwesaba, ngizamile ukulawula omunye umuntu ukuthi bazohlala bekhona. Ukudlala imidlalo yengqondo, ukwenza izinto ezingaqondakali, ukuza nokuhamba futhi nokuba nohlobo oluthile lwendlela yokuthola ithuba lokuthola umuntu othile ngoba uma ngikhethe ukubathanda, lapho-ke ngikufanele ukubuyisa okuthile. Lokhu kucabanga kunobuthi futhi kuncike ekubambaneni. Lapho sithanda ukuba nodonga lwethu luphakame, omunye umuntu ngeke akwazi ukungena endlini yethu. Kwesinye isikhathi sibeka izindonga phezulu kakhulu size singaboni nokuthi simvalele kanjani omunye umuntu ongakolunye uhlangothi. Ukunqoba yonke injongo yobudlelwano. Ngeke sithande ngaphandle kokuthembela. Uma kungekho ukwethenjwa, alukho uthando.

4. Ubudlelwano bumayelana nobumbano nokwakha inyunyana.

Ubudlelwano bami bokugcina bungifundise izinto eziningi kepha iningi lingifundise ukuthi uma ubumbano kungeyona inhloso, alikho iphuzu lokuthi uzoba nomunye umuntu. Okungukuthi, kungani ngashiya. Ngithathe isinqumo sokuhamba ngoba ngangizizwa ngingedwa kakhulu kunokuthi ngibe nomuntu. Ngemuva kokuba ngihambile, ngaba ne-epiphany, uma othile engithanda ngokweqiniso, kungani bangafuni ukuba nobunye nami? Futhi, uma kungenjalo, alikho iphuzu lokuba nabo. Ukuba nomuntu akufanele uzizwe sengathi ulwa naye ngokungaguquki, kufanele uzizwe sengathi umuntu okhethe ukuba naye ungasohlangothini lwakho; hhayi empini nawe.

Tengo la esperanza de encontrar el amor verdadero y el respeto.

Imagen de Unsplash

Imagen de Unsplash

Tengo la esperanza de encontrar el amor verdadero y el respeto.

Tendrá la forma de alguien que puede dejar de lado su orgullo.

Tengo la esperanza de encontrar el amor verdadero y el respeto.

Comprenderá que el amor no es un juego porque en los juegos siempre hay un perdedor. Sin embargo, en el amor, las personas deben elevarse mutuamente.

Tengo la esperanza de encontrar el amor verdadero y el respeto.

Ahora más que nunca creo que soy digno de ello.

Tengo la esperanza de encontrar el amor verdadero y el respeto. Él me verá como un igual: no biológicamente, financieramente, materialista o emocionalmente. Pero soy su igual con respeto, consideración y amabilidad.

Tengo la esperanza de encontrar el amor verdadero y el respeto.

Se arruinará porque es humano. Pero cuando lo haga, se disculpará, igual que yo haré lo mismo.

Tengo la esperanza de encontrar el amor verdadero y el respeto.

Él ha puesto los juegos y juguetes infantiles para descansar y está listo para crear un reino (conmigo) que prospere.

Tengo la esperanza de encontrar el amor verdadero y el respeto. Él respeta mi espacio y tiempo suficiente para dejar de lado la necesidad de ser lo que la sociedad dice que un hombre debería ser. Él trata a las mujeres con respeto.

Tengo la esperanza de encontrar el amor verdadero y el respeto. Él se respeta a sí mismo, primero, y por lo tanto puede respetar a los demás también. Él entiende que el respeto no se da sino que se gana.

Tengo la esperanza de encontrar el amor verdadero y el respeto. Él está trabajando, tan duro como yo, para hacer de este mundo un lugar mejor para sus hijos, seres queridos y las generaciones venideras.

I have hope that I will find true love and respect.

Image by Unsplash

Image by Unsplash

I have hope that I will find true love and respect. 

He will be in the form of someone who can let go of his pride. 


I have hope that I will find true love and respect. 

He will understand that love isn’t a game because in games, there is always a loser. However, in love, people should lift each other up. 


I have hope that I will find true love and respect. 

I believe now more than ever that I am worthy of it. 


I have hope that I will find true love and respect. He will see me as an equal: not biologically, financially, materialistically or emotionally. But I am his equal with respect, consideration and kindness. 


I have hope that I will find true love and respect. 

He will mess up because he is human. But when he does, he will apologize- just as I will do the same. 


I have hope that I will find true love and respect. 

He has laid the childish games and toys to rest and is ready to create a kingdom (with me) that thrives. 


I have hope that I will find true love and respect. He respects my space and time enough to let go of the need to be what society says a man should be. He treats women with respect. 


I have hope that I will find true love and respect. He respects himself, first, and can therefore respect others as well. He understands respect is not given but earned. 


I have hope that I will find true love and respect. He is working, just as hard as I am, to make this World a better place for his children, loved ones and generations to come. 



Forgive him

Image by Getty Images

Image by Getty Images

Why do I want to forgive him?

 Because it is not healthy to hold onto anger. I want to forgive him because I am tired of questioning why he hasn't responded or put forward actions, instead of merely talking. I want to forgive him because I am tired of feeling rejected and he doesn't have as much power in my life as I have previously given him. 

I want to forgive him because he is not a bad person- merely human and, just like I, he has issues. I want to forgive him because it is the best way to move forward from this. I want to forgive him because I cannot force him to change, I cannot re-write the past and I don't want to. I learnt so much about life and loving, which is even more reason for me to forgive as I am grateful and pleased with the outcome.

I want to forgive him because my next chapter is too promising to be ruined by feelings of bitterness, worry and uncertainty. I want to forgive him because I am certain that I deserve a love that is not heavily burdened by insecurities; that reassures us when we are not sure. 

I want to forgive him because I cannot force the truth. It is not forced or jaded. I want to forgive him because he has served his purpose in my life, it may not have been how I wanted it but I am here. I am here to forgive because there is nothing more beneficial.