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9 Redefinitions of success in my 30s.

Image from Unsplash

Image from Unsplash

I heard a quote last week and it said, ‘There are two kinds of people in The World: real or fake.’- Anon. 

Which is apparent currently (most of us are at home) when social media and YouTube clips reveal who is able to sit with themselves in peace and be authentic vs. those who are grabbing at attention and desire validation. You don’t have to be a celebrity to crave attention. Social media is fun but needing validation through it is concerning. 

I spent a lot of my life in the hamster wheel of needing to be ‘successful’ and pressured myself into jobs that I didn’t like and surrounded myself with (mostly) people who had the same agenda. 8 years ago, I made a decision to leave that behind and I am very grateful for it. Sure, I would like to own a house and have a few million in the bank but that is still coming. And, when it does, I won’t have to start to get to know myself because I am connected to myself already. 

Here are 9 redefinitions of success in my 30s: 

1. Being surrounded by sincere and well-meaning people. 

2. Feeling loved by myself and others. 

3. Being the change that I want to see. 

4. Speaking and acting from a place of authenticity; not to please others. 

5. Being healthy, mentally and physically. 

6. Manifesting dreams that raise the energetic level of consciousness, harmony and kindness. 

7. Understanding that my actions create the karma that I will receive in my life. 

8. Working hard and smart, not at the expense of my health and well-being. 

9. Enjoying my life because it should be lived through, not passed by. 

6 Reasons to go back to school, by Diana Athena.

Image by Unsplash

Image by Unsplash

Just like most people, I went to college right after I graduated high school. What I didn’t realize is that the universe had other plans for me and after two years of studying Hospitality & Hotel Management, I ended up moving to The United States. Adult life and freedom led me into the current of opportunities.

The ability to pay my bills by simply working at bars and restaurants seemed pretty tempting at first; however, the years were passing by and my first excitement has been replaced with questions like, “How much longer am I willing to do what I do?”, and ,“What will come after?”. I had been considering going back to school but was uncertain what I wanted to study. When you are older going back to school may seem a bit intimidating. It took me years (and some inspiration from close friends) to finally find the courage and take the first step by simply collecting information about the process of reinstatement. I went down the road from there, I’ve collected all the papers, applied and got accepted!

I can tell you, being a student in your 30’s is very different than being a student right after high school. But, it is still worth it! 

Being a freshman again made me realize a few things. This is what they are:

 

1. I have a better understanding of what I want.

I was 17 when I first went to college back in Russia and going to school was expected of me. At that age, i hadn’t yet understood who I wanted to be when I grew up. My interests were scattered between so many areas - I loved hospitality, theater, traveling ;but yet I also loved animals and wanted to be a veterinarian. Now when I am more settled, I can now better tell the difference between what I would like to pursue as a career and what would serve me better kept as a hobby. 

 

2. More confidence!

Now that I am a bit older, I have so much more confidence in myself. I no longer need to seek approval from peers or try to impress anyone. School is a place to work on my education, to get things done and to get better! 

 

3. Better time management.

Being a student while working a full time job (or 2 in my case) is not an easy task, but likely at this point of my life I have a better understanding of time management and self care, which helps me to keep a busy schedule and stay motivated.

 

 

4. I can choose classes based on what I already do to improve my performance.

Now when I am back at school, I have a clear idea of what I am drawn to. My past experiences serve as a strong foundation and relate to the knowledge that I am receiving at this moment. Having set opinions and believes helps to determine what exactly I would like to focus on in my education and my career.

 

5. New connections.

No matter how old you are it is important to keep expanding the circle of the people you know. Being back in school I have got to meet so many moving and inspiring people, who have changed my views and opinions and who I am continuing to learn from. 

 

6. The best investment of your time is investment into yourself!

There is always room for growth! Regardless of if it is getting another college degree, or taking some dance lessons because you have always loved salsa. Whatever it is for you, learning is a good way to stay ahead and to keep the everlasting energy of change flowing. 

 

4 ways to work with The Universe

I had always believed that I had to be in control of everything in my life. It sounds impossible when put into words, but that's how I used to live my life until recently.

A few years ago, a few things were falling out of place and I had no idea what to do. I left one job to escape a problematic situation and started another job only to find myself facing an exaggeration of the same problem. I was in a relationship that felt like we were at war with one another because both of us wanted to be in control, and I had left a living situation with friends to live with a stranger in an arrangement filled with drama and turmoil.

It sounds clichéd, but one day I gave in. I found myself exhausted from trying to control everything when I was clearly unable to. This is what happened when I did decide to let go and let things take their course:

1. I stopped living in "when" and started living in "now."

I used to always say that I would be content when things would go my way. When I lose that weight or When I get that job or When I get that raise. I learned that living with expectance was not allowing me to appreciate the moment because I constantly wanted more. This created a cycle of my being unable to appreciate anything I had because I was so focused on wanting things to be the way that I wanted them to be.

Once I let go of the desire to have everything my way, I freed myself. I stopped driving myself crazy with wanting things to be different.

2. I started appreciating people.

When I let go of wanting people to respond or think the way that I had expected them to, it allowed me to appreciate the positive aspect of how diverse and unique we all are. People are allowed to be who they are. People will do things they want to; not how I want them to.

3. I learned a lesson from Nature.

The weather changes for a reason. It won't always be sunny; sometimes it will rain and if I love the sunshine as much as I do, I can appreciate the rain. It's helping me appreciate the sunshine because it reminds me that the Sun won't always be around. Just like life, there are some situations that may seem uncomfortable—sometimes even painful. However, these situations help us appreciate the situations that are joyful. When the joyful times come around, I remember when it wasn't joyful, which helps me appreciate it more.

4. I cried for a day and then got up the next day.

It was only natural for me to be sad or emotional when things weren't going my way; however, emotions don't lead to success—progressive actions do. I sobbed like a toddler who'd had a toy taken away from her, but then I got up and focused my energy on how to deal with the situation. I made a decision to take action because my emotions wouldn't get me as far as my actions would