Dear W, everything is perfect.

Image from Unsplash

Image from Unsplash

Dear W, 

Nothing is wrong. Everything is meant to be exactly the way that it is. 

When I decided to leave, I was angry. I was pissed. I felt betrayed. I felt hurt. I felt like I should’ve seen it coming. I asked myself how I could’ve given you a chance? 

Th answer to all these questions is that it was all supposed to happen. Everything is perfect. 

Thank for you for the lessons. In our relationship, I have learnt what true equality means, that money & fame are not everything, that I am enough and worthy of love, I learnt that if anyone makes me feel less-than in a relationship, they are not worth holding onto and, ultimately, I learnt that peace is the most important thing in This World to me. 

Thank you for reminding me that it takes two healthy people to make a relationship work, that if someone tries to make me feel insecure it is an extension of their own insecurities and, that no one is worth chasing after. 

I tried to hate you but hate looks ugly on me. I choose freedom and in that freedom, I forgive you. 

In the words of Maya Angelou, ‘Forgiveness means, I am done with you.’- mentally, physically and spiritually.

How I will apply The 12 Laws of Karma to my dating life, relationships and partnerships.

Image by Unsplash

Image by Unsplash

I have never been so happy to be single. I used to have this idea that being single meant waiting for ‘the one’. But, at this moment in my life, being single (to me) means being in love with and appreciating myself. Some may call this self-conceited; however, to be able to truly invest in others, we must have invested in ourselves, first. 

Relationships, including the ones with ourselves, require investment, time and respect. All of which, we cannot give to others if we haven’t given them to ourselves. 

With that being said, moving forward, I will apply The 12 Laws of Karma to dating, relationships with family &friends and future life partnerships: 

•The Great Law. Whatever we put into The Universe will come back to us. 

If we are clear, sincere, loving and respectful with our intentions, then (most likely) so will others around us. 

•The law of humility. One must accept something to change it. 

Red flags about someone’s behaviour don’t just disappear over time, I must accept them and decide to continue the relationship or not. 

 •The law of responsibility. We must take responsibility for what is in our lives. 

Being in a dysfunctional relationship or in a relationship with someone who continues to disrespect me is a reflection of what I think about myself. If I believe that I am worthy of respect, then I won’t accept or tolerate disrespect. 


The law of here and now. We cannot be looking present if we are looking backwards. 

Whoever and whatever moves with us to the future is our choice. If I am holding onto baggage, that baggage is coming with me. If I truly want to let go of a former partner or someone who hurt me, I need to forgive them and move on with my life.

• The law of patience and reward. The most valuable rewards require persistence. 

Relationships are about daily commitment and effort; not jumping to the future. 

• The law of creation. Life does not happen, we have to make it happen. 

Just like a flower or tree, relationships require nurturing, patience and love to grow. 

• The law of growth. When we change ourselves, our lives change too. 

Love and respect comes from within. There is no need for me to desperately seek it from someone else. 

• The law of connection. The past, present and future all connected. 

Today is the beginning of my future. How I treat others and allow others to treat me will have an impact on our relationship and how we connect in the long term. 

• The law of giving and hospitality. Our behaviour should match our thoughts and actions. 

If I love someone, my actions and words should embody this. Love is kind, patient and respectful, my words and actions should be so, too. 

• The law of change. History repeats itself until we learn from it and change our path. 

If I spend my life on someone who I have already tried to be with but it didn’t work out with, I am missing out on a World of opportunities. I deserve to give myself the most of the present and the future by letting who I have been with before, go. 

• The law of significance and inspiration. Rewards are a direct result of the energy and effort that we put into it. 

If I believe in a relationship, I will give it a hundred percent. Giving many different people a part of me sets future relationships up for failure because I am not being fully present in each of them. If I believe in a future with someone, I will give it my all. 

Tengo la esperanza de encontrar el amor verdadero y el respeto.

Imagen de Unsplash

Imagen de Unsplash

Tengo la esperanza de encontrar el amor verdadero y el respeto.

Tendrá la forma de alguien que puede dejar de lado su orgullo.

Tengo la esperanza de encontrar el amor verdadero y el respeto.

Comprenderá que el amor no es un juego porque en los juegos siempre hay un perdedor. Sin embargo, en el amor, las personas deben elevarse mutuamente.

Tengo la esperanza de encontrar el amor verdadero y el respeto.

Ahora más que nunca creo que soy digno de ello.

Tengo la esperanza de encontrar el amor verdadero y el respeto. Él me verá como un igual: no biológicamente, financieramente, materialista o emocionalmente. Pero soy su igual con respeto, consideración y amabilidad.

Tengo la esperanza de encontrar el amor verdadero y el respeto.

Se arruinará porque es humano. Pero cuando lo haga, se disculpará, igual que yo haré lo mismo.

Tengo la esperanza de encontrar el amor verdadero y el respeto.

Él ha puesto los juegos y juguetes infantiles para descansar y está listo para crear un reino (conmigo) que prospere.

Tengo la esperanza de encontrar el amor verdadero y el respeto. Él respeta mi espacio y tiempo suficiente para dejar de lado la necesidad de ser lo que la sociedad dice que un hombre debería ser. Él trata a las mujeres con respeto.

Tengo la esperanza de encontrar el amor verdadero y el respeto. Él se respeta a sí mismo, primero, y por lo tanto puede respetar a los demás también. Él entiende que el respeto no se da sino que se gana.

Tengo la esperanza de encontrar el amor verdadero y el respeto. Él está trabajando, tan duro como yo, para hacer de este mundo un lugar mejor para sus hijos, seres queridos y las generaciones venideras.

I have hope that I will find true love and respect.

Image by Unsplash

Image by Unsplash

I have hope that I will find true love and respect. 

He will be in the form of someone who can let go of his pride. 

I have hope that I will find true love and respect. 

He will understand that love isn’t a game because in games, there is always a loser. However, in love, people should lift each other up. 

I have hope that I will find true love and respect. 

I believe now more than ever that I am worthy of it. 

I have hope that I will find true love and respect. He will see me as an equal: not biologically, financially, materialistically or emotionally. But I am his equal with respect, consideration and kindness. 

I have hope that I will find true love and respect. 

He will mess up because he is human. But when he does, he will apologize- just as I will do the same. 

I have hope that I will find true love and respect. 

He has laid the childish games and toys to rest and is ready to create a kingdom (with me) that thrives. 

I have hope that I will find true love and respect. He respects my space and time enough to let go of the need to be what society says a man should be. He treats women with respect. 

I have hope that I will find true love and respect. He respects himself, first, and can therefore respect others as well. He understands respect is not given but earned. 

I have hope that I will find true love and respect. He is working, just as hard as I am, to make this World a better place for his children, loved ones and generations to come. 

Dear God, thank you…

Image by Unsplash

Image by Unsplash

Dear God, 

Thank you. 

Thank you for providing me the courage to leave an unhealthy situation, I feel so much better now. 

I now understand why you lead me to him. You did so to make me stronger, more forgiving and capable to get to my next step. 

God, the truth is that I never really understood my connection with this man until now. Today, I can say clearly that he came into my life to heal me of my past. 

You know that I have had trouble with feeling like men have chosen me and that I didn’t have a say in the relationships that I entered in to. After this awful ordeal with this man, I see now what the effects of being blurry about my future do to me (and my future). 

I have spent enough time putting my future in the wrong people’s hands, having hope that boys (disguised as men) would show up for me the way that I had showed up for them. However, they had work to do, and so did I. I had to realize that if someone is willing to manipulate my morals and worth, they don’t love me; they merely want to control me and use me a pawn. 

God, I am so grateful that you put me through this heartache because I see so clearly what having faith in the wrong people can do. Having faith in the wrong people (people who are not genuine and are manipulative) has previously led me down a road of victimization and wondering how I got there. However, today, I see it clearly. 

I control my destiny. Please help me maintain this clarity in my life: in friendships, business and in love because I am worthy of the blessings that come with an awakened heart, mind and soul. 

Dear W, (forgiveness)

Image by Unsplash

Image by Unsplash

Dear W, 

Why do I want to forgive you? 

Because it’s time to move on with my life. 

I forgive you because as I move on, I let go of any anger, resentment and bitterness. As, everyone knows that to achieve happiness, we must let go of anything in the way of that. 

I forgive you because the truth is that I am better without you. So, for freedom and peace of mind, I choose forgiveness. Freedom of any former bondage that was tied to the expectation that either of us would be around and together forever. Now that we know that that is not true, I walk free with forgiveness. 

I forgive you because any negativity that I might feel towards you, will only affect me and my future. 

I can see my future so clearly, I am at peace with my future partner, drama-free, resentment-free and filled with all the benefits that The Universe will bless me with as a reward for letting you go. 

Wathandekayo W (ngikuthethelele)

Isitombe se-Unsplash 

Isitombe se-Unsplash 

Wathandekayo W, ngikuthethelela

Ngikuthethelela ngoba ukuphindisela umbala omubi ukugqoka.

Ngikuthethelela ngoba lesi sahluko sinye esenziwa futhi yingxenye encane nje yalokho okwenza impilo yami.

Ngithethelela ngoba ngibona isifundo sokuthi kungani wangena empilweni yami. Isifundo sigcwaliseka futhi sigcwalisiwe.

Ngikuthethelela ngoba ukuzwa intukuthelo nokuphindiselela kuphela kubeka amandla emiphakathini evuthayo.

Ukubuyisela futhi ukuthola ukuthula, ngithethelela. Ngoba ukuthethelelwa kuyindlela enamandla kakhulu yokulawula isimo.

4 Ce que j'ai appris de mon récent chagrin d'amour.

Image de Unsplash

Image de Unsplash

C’est drôle de voir à quel point nous pensons avoir appris tout ce que nous devons apprendre, puis quelque chose d’autre nous apprend quelque chose pour nous aider à mieux nous comprendre nous-mêmes ou à mieux comprendre la vie.

Si vous n'êtes pas au courant de mon périple Twin — flam, lisez les autres articles de notre section LOVE afin de comprendre ce qui m'a conduit à ce point. Le point où j'ai coupé les liens avec mon Twin-flame et que je ne veux pas d'avenir avec lui.

Heureusement, j'ai décidé d'être célibataire et de sortir avec d'autres personnes, des personnes qui apprécient ce que je vaux et ce que je représente. Être et se sentir petit n'est pas durable et ne peut durer que si longtemps.

Notre histoire m'a laissé un profond chagrin d'amour. Cependant, je considère que c'est positif. Je m'en vais avec beaucoup plus que ce que je pensais.

Voici ce que j'ai appris de ce chagrin d'amour:

1. S'intégrer dans le moule de quelqu'un d'autre étouffe.

Ma flamme jumelle a une très grande personnalité et peut être envahissante. Moi aussi, je ne suis pas un ange. Cependant, j'ai appris à pouvoir l'atténuer. En atténuant les effets, je me suis trouvé à l'apaiser et à satisfaire ses besoins dans notre relation. Oublier ce que je veux vraiment, cela peut arriver si vite. Cela a commencé avec le fait de permettre de petites choses et de laisser trop de choses continuer heureusement, affectant ainsi mon estime de moi et mon bien-être général.

J’ai appris que je suis censé être dans le moule que je me suis créé, et non celui de quelqu'un d’autre. Vivre une vie faite des attentes de quelqu'un d’autre n’est pas vraiment vivre parce que cela lui donne trop de responsabilités dans votre vie.

2. La relation Twin-Flame est destinée à vous changer. Alors, soit fait.

J'avais tellement peur de perdre ma Twin— flamme parce que je l'aimais. Hors de cette peur, je me suis tenu pour la vie chère. Je le tenais comme s'il était ma source de vie. Le danger était que je l’autorise à se comporter de manière à ne me faire reprocher à personne. J'ai fait des recherches sur une relation Twine-flamme et j'ai découvert que ces relations sont censées entrer dans votre vie et vous changer. Ce n'est pas pour toujours. La pensée de cela m'a terriblement effrayé jusqu'à ce qu'il me fasse mal et on m'a rappelé que personne ne vaut la peine de s'y accrocher, surtout s'ils ne sont là que pour vous faire sentir mal à propos de qui vous êtes et de votre existence.

3. La vie continue.

Il y a toujours une vie après le chagrin d'amour. Et, chaque fois que j'oublie ça, ça me rappelle. Aujourd'hui, je suis le plus heureux que j'ai jamais été parce que je sais que j'ai donné et fait tout ce que j'ai pu dans la relation. Donc, je peux partir avec un sourire sur mon visage. Je ne souris pas toujours. Parfois, je suis triste et blessé, mais c’est la vie. Particulièrement, lorsque vous aurez affaire à l'amour, toutes vos émotions seront révélées. Ce qui va bien. Je peux me réjouir de ma vie et du chapitre suivant avec les leçons que j'ai apprises et la transformation qui s'est produite en moi.

4. L'amour c'est du travail mais pas de l'angoisse.

J'étais à Sephora et une chanson de mon Twin-flame a été entendue et, étonnamment, j'ai souri. J'ai pensé à tous les bons souvenirs que nous avions et cela a réchauffé mon cœur. Après cela, je me suis souvenu de la façon dont il m'a fait mal. Je me suis décidé à considérer ce chapitre comme ayant fonctionné exactement comme prévu. J’ai appris l’une des meilleures leçons que j’ai jamais pu apprendre: l’amour, c’est du travail mais pas de l’angoisse. Vers la fin de notre relation, je me suis senti pris au piège, solitaire et triste la plupart du temps. Ce qui n'est pas ce qu'il devrait être. Même si l'amour exige du travail, personne ne devrait se sentir laissé dans le noir.

J'attends avec impatience les jours et les relations que je ressens comme un travail d'amour sans agonie. J'ai l'espoir que cette relation est dans mon avenir.

Dear W, (I forgive you)

Image by Unsplash

Image by Unsplash

Dear W, I forgive you 

I forgive you because revenge is an ugly colour to wear. 

I forgive you because this chapter is one that is done and only a small fraction of what makes up of my life. 

I forgive you because I see the lesson of why you came into my life. The lesson is fulfilled and completed. 

I forgive you because feeling anger and vengeance only puts energy into emotions that are depleting.

To restore and find peace, I forgive. Because forgiveness is the most powerful way to have control over a situation. 

4 Things that I have learnt from my recent heartbreak.

Image from Unsplash

Image from Unsplash

It’s funny how we think we have learnt everything that we need to learn and then along comes something else to teach us something to help us understand ourselves or life better. 

If you are not up to speed with my Twin—flame journey, please read the other articles in our LOVE section so that you can understand what has lead me to this point. The point where I have cut ties with my Twin-flame and do not want a future with him. 

Fortunately, I have decided to be single and date other people- people who appreciate my worth and what I stand for. Being and feeling small is not sustainable and can only last for so long. 

Our story has left me in deep heartache. However, I look at it as a positive. I am walking away with a lot more than I thought that I would. 

This is what I learnt from this heartbreak:

1. Fitting into someone else’s mould of you is stifling. 

My twin flame has a very big personality and can be overbearing. So do I. I am no angel; however, I have learnt to be able to tone it down. In my toning it down, I found myself appeasing him and his needs in our relationship. Forgetting about what I truly want- it can happen so quickly. It started with me allowing small things and turned into allowing too much to go on, happily, having an effect on my self-esteem and my general well-being. 

I learnt that I am meant to be in the mould that I make for myself, not someone else’s. Living a life made up of someone else’s expectations is not truly living because it gives them too much responsibility over your life. 

2. The Twin-Flame relationship is meant to come and change you. Then, be done. 

I was so afraid of losing my Twi—flame because I loved him. Out of this fear, I held on for dear life. I held onto him like he was my life source. The dangerous thing about that was that I allowed him to behave in a way that I wouldn’t anyone else. I did some research on a Twine-flame relationship and found out that, they are meant to come into your life and change you. It is not forever. The thought of that scared me immensely until he hurt me and I was reminded that no one is worth holding on to- especially if they are only around to make you feel badly about who you are and your existence. 

3. Life goes on. 

There is always life after heartache. And, every time that I forget that, I am reminded. Today, I am the happiest that I have ever been because I know that I have given and done all that I could in the relationship. So, I can walk away with a smile on my face. I’m not always smiling. Sometimes I’m sad and hurt - but that is life. Particularly, when you deal with love, it will bring out all of your emotions. Which is okay. I can gladly look forward to my life and the next chapter with the lessons that I learnt and the transformation that has happened inside of me. 

4. Love is work but not anguish

I was in Sephora and a song of my Twin-flame’s came on and, surprisingly, I smiled. I thought of all the fond memories that we had and it warmed my heart. Following that was the memory of how he hurt me. I made a choice to myself to look at this chapter as having worked out exactly the way that it was meant to. I learnt one of the best lessons that I could’ve ever learnt: love is work but not anguish. Towards the end of our relationship, I felt trapped, lonely and sad most of the time. Which is not the way that it should be. Even though love requires work, no one should feel left in the dark. 

I look forward to the days and relationship that I feel the work of love without the agony. I have hope that this relationship is in my future.