3 Things I wish I had known before I began the process of healing from my last break-up.

Although my recent relationship was with someone who is in the public light, I felt obligated to keep how I felt private. But, now it is time for me to reveal how I feel after having healed from a break up and moving the other side of the country away from the city that both of us were in. 

As with all endings, they can be tough and this one definitely was. I had to walk away from the potential of a great relationship and face the fact that I didn’t have one with him and probably never would. 

Here are 3 things that I wish I had known before the healing process of my last relationship: 

1. Sometimes it’s going to suck. 

When I was younger, I used to run away from my emotions and do anything I could to avoid them. But, the older that I get, the more I have learned to accept them and realize they are there to help me. 

Sometimes it’s easier said than done when I read a headline that says he has moved on and I feel betrayed as though he should’ve fought for us and he didn’t. He never did. When I get emotional about feeling this way, I remember that it will pass and to face my emotions whether I want to admit them or not. 

They will be there to help me heal so I need to embrace them to get to the other side. 

2. You’re going to want to reach out but don’t. 

I have had my moments when I have wanted to reach out to him and just say hi. See how he is and how is life is going but I don’t. Because when I have done that in the past, it confuses the other person and hinders the healing process. 

So, for the first time, I decided to go ‘cold-turkey’ from him and I had my moments when it was hard not to reach out but I am glad that I didn’t. 

Clarity is a compass that invites in new. There is no need for blurred lines when we move forward because that just confuses our intentions and what The Divine has in store for us. 

3. You don’t have to hate him. 

Out of all my past relationships, being with him was one of the most poignant times of my life. While I have many great things to say about him as a person; I also have my issues with how he handled me and what we had. 

I have had my moments when I have been angry, regretted some of it and wanted to erase him from my memory. But then I remember what it feels like to have heart in my heart and that feeling is heavy. 

Both can be true: I can acknowledge how he hurt me and also see the divine in him. Hate is heavy and I choose to live free of internal animosity. No one deserves my peace and my future, especially someone who is in my past. 

What it took to get to me- November 2021

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What it took to get to me.

It took accepting why past relationships didn’t work out, to get to me.

It took me being grateful for what I have

To get to me.

It took me listening to gratitude affirmations daily, to get to me.

It took me taking things step-by-step

To get to me.

It took me raising my vibrations

To get to me.

It took me letting to go of the need to convince others that I am worthy, to get to me.

It took me moving on from any of my past romantic relationships, to get to me.

Dear B, thank you…

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Dear B,

You might’ve probably heard or not but I am leaving. A part of me has been afraid to tell you for fear that you will run after me when I already have so much to worry about. How you feel about this has been the last thing on my mind.

It has been selfish of me especially because I think so highly of you and have deep love for you. In fact, the deepest love I have ever felt for anyone has been for you.

I used to think that to end a relationship, I had to be angry but you taught me that is not always the case. And with that, I want to thank you. You have taught me true love and for that I will forever be grateful.

While there is a part of me that doesn’t want to see you with anyone else, I want you to be happy. So, when you meet someone who makes you happy, is kind and gives love back to you the way you have given to so many, I will be genuinely happy for you. I could never stay mad at you for too long anyways. Who could?

I often wonder how someone who has been through so much is so even-keeled and cool about life but then I realize that is another lesson you have taught me, that everything is relative.

I wanted to be the person that you end up with but I’m not and as I leave, I fully let go of the possibility and I release any energetic hold I have had on you.

With all the love I have for you, I wish you the best. You were not ready to be with me and that might be The Divine or another force working against us but I accept our fate and lovingly move forward.

Although I am hopeful about my next chapter, the one that you were a part of will always mean a lot to me and I will always keep that close to me.

I love you, B! Now, from a distance.

H

9 choses que je dirais à mes ex si je les voyais aujourd'hui.

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Je suis célibataire depuis plus d'un an et ça a été magnifique. Je me vois m'installer et être dans un partenariat sacré, respectueux, honnête et rempli d'amour.

En repensant aux relations précédentes, je ne suis que reconnaissant. De temps en temps, j'ai des aperçus du passé des souvenirs qui me laissent avec un sourire sur mon visage.

Après tout, je reste avec une profonde gratitude.

Voici 9 choses que je dirais à mes ex:

1. Merci.

2. Vous m'avez aidé à grandir.

3. Vous m'avez aidé à apprendre à aimer.

4. Je suis ici aujourd'hui et je me suis transformé en partie grâce à vous.

5. Vous êtes aimé.

6. J'espère que vous avez tout l'amour et le bonheur que vous méritez.

7. Que tous vos souhaits se réalisent.

8. Je prie pour votre santé, votre bien-être et pour que vous continuiez à choisir l'amour.

9. Je vous ai pardonné comme je suis sûr que vous m'avez pardonné.

9 Things I would tell all my Exes if I saw them today.

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I have been single for over a year and it has been splendid. I do see myself settling down and being in a partnership that is sacred, respectful, honest and filled with love. 

As I think back on previous relationships, I am only grateful. Every now and then I get glimpses of the past of memories that leave me with a smile on my face. After it all, I am left with deep gratitude. 

Here are 9 things that I would tell my exes: 

1. Thank you. 

2. You helped me grow. 

3. You helped me learn how to love. 

4. I am here today and have transformed partially because of you. 

5. You are loved. 

6. I hope you have all the love and happiness you deserve. 

7. May all your wishes come true. 

8. I pray for your health, your well-being and that you continue to choose love. 

9. I’ve forgiven you as I am sure you have forgiven me. 

Dear Daddy,

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Dear Daddy, 

I am sorry. The older that I get, the more that I see how kind and loving you were to me. A part of me feels like I took it for granted and blamed you for things that you couldn’t control. 

I have memories of how much wisdom you gave me and I am forever grateful to have had a Father who held the bar high for me so that I always knew my worth. I spent too much time being angry at you (and men in general) for things that were out of your control and I only hurt myself. 

I’m sorry for fighting battles against you that weren’t mine to fight. 

You did enough for me and for that I am grateful. The older that I get, the more like you I see that I am. We both have been ridiculously hard on ourselves, we both love Gospel music, we both work hard and we both believe in the good in everyone- even when we shouldn’t sometimes.

I hope that I marry a man who is as good of a person as you are and who embodies many of your qualities. 

Thank you for everything you did for me and thank you for never asking for anything back. You have always shown me unconditional love and I love you. 

Yours truly, 

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I forgive him.

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Why do I want to forgive him? 

Because holding onto him won’t change him. 

I’ve spent enough time looking for love outside of myself and it’s time to look within. 

I forgive him 

Because I could spend my life trying to steal back the moments we gave to each other or be happy that we ever had them to begin with. 

I forgive him 

Because for a long time, I felt like he took from me. 

And now I realize that I got so more than I expected to get. 

I forgive him 

Because I felt played, I felt used and I felt replaceable. I never understood that only I can truly value myself, it can’t always come from him. 

I forgive him 

Because I am also in the process of forgiving myself for not understanding the fundamental rule of abundance, there is always enough. 

I loved him enough, I gave him and now I can let him go. 

I forgive him because I’m not shutting the door created by a fake boundary. I am keeping the door open and walking forward without looking back anymore. 

I forgive him because he deserves everything that I ever asked him for: love, kindness and respect. Whether he gives it back to me is up to him but I’m not going to hold a grudge against him if he doesn’t. 

Nginethemba lokuthi ngizothola uthando lwangempela nenhlonipho.

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Nginethemba lokuthi ngizothola uthando lwangempela nenhlonipho.

Usesimweni somuntu onginikeza isikhala kuye njengoba engimnika khona.



Nginethemba lokuthi ngizothola uthando lwangempela nenhlonipho.

Uyakuqonda okwenzeka kowesifazane empilweni, njengoba nje nami ngikuqonda okwenzeka kowesilisa.



Nginethemba lokuthi ngizothola uthando lwangempela nenhlonipho.

Uyiveza kahle imingcele yenhlonipho ayifunayo ngaphandle kokuba nonya noma ukuba nokhahlo.



Nginethemba lokuthi ngizothola uthando lwangempela nenhlonipho.

Ukholelwa ukuthi enginakho okuhlukile engingamnika kona futhi uyaqhubeka nokubuya abuyele kulokho okukhethekile.



Nginethemba lokuthi ngizothola uthando lwangempela nenhlonipho.

Ukhule ngokwanele ukuthi aqonde ukuthi isikhala esithile asisho ibanga, angavumela ukukhula nothando kuthande.

How I will apply The 12 Laws of Karma to my dating life, relationships and partnerships.

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I have never been so happy to be single. I used to have this idea that being single meant waiting for ‘the one’. But, at this moment in my life, being single (to me) means being in love with and appreciating myself. Some may call this self-conceited; however, to be able to truly invest in others, we must have invested in ourselves, first. 

Relationships, including the ones with ourselves, require investment, time and respect. All of which, we cannot give to others if we haven’t given them to ourselves. 

With that being said, moving forward, I will apply The 12 Laws of Karma to dating, relationships with family &friends and future life partnerships: 

•The Great Law. Whatever we put into The Universe will come back to us. 

If we are clear, sincere, loving and respectful with our intentions, then (most likely) so will others around us. 

•The law of humility. One must accept something to change it. 

Red flags about someone’s behaviour don’t just disappear over time, I must accept them and decide to continue the relationship or not. 

 •The law of responsibility. We must take responsibility for what is in our lives. 

Being in a dysfunctional relationship or in a relationship with someone who continues to disrespect me is a reflection of what I think about myself. If I believe that I am worthy of respect, then I won’t accept or tolerate disrespect. 

•The law of here and now. We cannot be looking present if we are looking backwards. 

Whoever and whatever moves with us to the future is our choice. If I am holding onto baggage, that baggage is coming with me. If I truly want to let go of a former partner or someone who hurt me, I need to forgive them and move on with my life.

• The law of patience and reward. The most valuable rewards require persistence. 

Relationships are about daily commitment and effort; not jumping to the future. 

• The law of creation. Life does not happen, we have to make it happen. 

Just like a flower or tree, relationships require nurturing, patience and love to grow. 

• The law of growth. When we change ourselves, our lives change too. 

Love and respect comes from within. There is no need for me to desperately seek it from someone else. 

• The law of connection. The past, present and future all connected. 

Today is the beginning of my future. How I treat others and allow others to treat me will have an impact on our relationship and how we connect in the long term. 

• The law of giving and hospitality. Our behaviour should match our thoughts and actions. 

If I love someone, my actions and words should embody this. Love is kind, patient and respectful, my words and actions should be so, too. 

• The law of change. History repeats itself until we learn from it and change our path. 

If I spend my life on someone who I have already tried to be with but it didn’t work out with, I am missing out on a World of opportunities. I deserve to give myself the most of the present and the future by letting who I have been with before, go. 

• The law of significance and inspiration. Rewards are a direct result of the energy and effort that we put into it. 

If I believe in a relationship, I will give it a hundred percent. Giving many different people a part of me sets future relationships up for failure because I am not being fully present in each of them. If I believe in a future with someone, I will give it my all. 

Tengo la esperanza de encontrar el amor verdadero y el respeto.

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Tengo la esperanza de encontrar el amor verdadero y el respeto.

Tendrá la forma de alguien que puede dejar de lado su orgullo.

Tengo la esperanza de encontrar el amor verdadero y el respeto.

Comprenderá que el amor no es un juego porque en los juegos siempre hay un perdedor. Sin embargo, en el amor, las personas deben elevarse mutuamente.

Tengo la esperanza de encontrar el amor verdadero y el respeto.

Ahora más que nunca creo que soy digno de ello.

Tengo la esperanza de encontrar el amor verdadero y el respeto. Él me verá como un igual: no biológicamente, financieramente, materialista o emocionalmente. Pero soy su igual con respeto, consideración y amabilidad.

Tengo la esperanza de encontrar el amor verdadero y el respeto.

Se arruinará porque es humano. Pero cuando lo haga, se disculpará, igual que yo haré lo mismo.

Tengo la esperanza de encontrar el amor verdadero y el respeto.

Él ha puesto los juegos y juguetes infantiles para descansar y está listo para crear un reino (conmigo) que prospere.

Tengo la esperanza de encontrar el amor verdadero y el respeto. Él respeta mi espacio y tiempo suficiente para dejar de lado la necesidad de ser lo que la sociedad dice que un hombre debería ser. Él trata a las mujeres con respeto.

Tengo la esperanza de encontrar el amor verdadero y el respeto. Él se respeta a sí mismo, primero, y por lo tanto puede respetar a los demás también. Él entiende que el respeto no se da sino que se gana.

Tengo la esperanza de encontrar el amor verdadero y el respeto. Él está trabajando, tan duro como yo, para hacer de este mundo un lugar mejor para sus hijos, seres queridos y las generaciones venideras.

I have hope that I will find true love and respect.

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I have hope that I will find true love and respect. 

He will be in the form of someone who can let go of his pride. 

I have hope that I will find true love and respect. 

He will understand that love isn’t a game because in games, there is always a loser. However, in love, people should lift each other up. 

I have hope that I will find true love and respect. 

I believe now more than ever that I am worthy of it. 

I have hope that I will find true love and respect. He will see me as an equal: not biologically, financially, materialistically or emotionally. But I am his equal with respect, consideration and kindness. 

I have hope that I will find true love and respect. 

He will mess up because he is human. But when he does, he will apologize- just as I will do the same. 

I have hope that I will find true love and respect. 

He has laid the childish games and toys to rest and is ready to create a kingdom (with me) that thrives. 

I have hope that I will find true love and respect. He respects my space and time enough to let go of the need to be what society says a man should be. He treats women with respect. 

I have hope that I will find true love and respect. He respects himself, first, and can therefore respect others as well. He understands respect is not given but earned. 

I have hope that I will find true love and respect. He is working, just as hard as I am, to make this World a better place for his children, loved ones and generations to come. 

Dear God, thank you…

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Dear God, 

Thank you. 

Thank you for providing me the courage to leave an unhealthy situation, I feel so much better now. 

I now understand why you lead me to him. You did so to make me stronger, more forgiving and capable to get to my next step. 

God, the truth is that I never really understood my connection with this man until now. Today, I can say clearly that he came into my life to heal me of my past. 

You know that I have had trouble with feeling like men have chosen me and that I didn’t have a say in the relationships that I entered in to. After this awful ordeal with this man, I see now what the effects of being blurry about my future do to me (and my future). 

I have spent enough time putting my future in the wrong people’s hands, having hope that boys (disguised as men) would show up for me the way that I had showed up for them. However, they had work to do, and so did I. I had to realize that if someone is willing to manipulate my morals and worth, they don’t love me; they merely want to control me and use me a pawn. 

God, I am so grateful that you put me through this heartache because I see so clearly what having faith in the wrong people can do. Having faith in the wrong people (people who are not genuine and are manipulative) has previously led me down a road of victimization and wondering how I got there. However, today, I see it clearly. 

I control my destiny. Please help me maintain this clarity in my life: in friendships, business and in love because I am worthy of the blessings that come with an awakened heart, mind and soul. 

Dear W, (forgiveness)

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Dear W, 

Why do I want to forgive you? 

Because it’s time to move on with my life. 

I forgive you because as I move on, I let go of any anger, resentment and bitterness. As, everyone knows that to achieve happiness, we must let go of anything in the way of that. 

I forgive you because the truth is that I am better without you. So, for freedom and peace of mind, I choose forgiveness. Freedom of any former bondage that was tied to the expectation that either of us would be around and together forever. Now that we know that that is not true, I walk free with forgiveness. 

I forgive you because any negativity that I might feel towards you, will only affect me and my future. 

I can see my future so clearly, I am at peace with my future partner, drama-free, resentment-free and filled with all the benefits that The Universe will bless me with as a reward for letting you go. 

Wathandekayo W (ngikuthethelele)

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Wathandekayo W, ngikuthethelela

Ngikuthethelela ngoba ukuphindisela umbala omubi ukugqoka.

Ngikuthethelela ngoba lesi sahluko sinye esenziwa futhi yingxenye encane nje yalokho okwenza impilo yami.

Ngithethelela ngoba ngibona isifundo sokuthi kungani wangena empilweni yami. Isifundo sigcwaliseka futhi sigcwalisiwe.

Ngikuthethelela ngoba ukuzwa intukuthelo nokuphindiselela kuphela kubeka amandla emiphakathini evuthayo.

Ukubuyisela futhi ukuthola ukuthula, ngithethelela. Ngoba ukuthethelelwa kuyindlela enamandla kakhulu yokulawula isimo.

4 Ce que j'ai appris de mon récent chagrin d'amour.

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C’est drôle de voir à quel point nous pensons avoir appris tout ce que nous devons apprendre, puis quelque chose d’autre nous apprend quelque chose pour nous aider à mieux nous comprendre nous-mêmes ou à mieux comprendre la vie.

Si vous n'êtes pas au courant de mon périple Twin — flam, lisez les autres articles de notre section LOVE afin de comprendre ce qui m'a conduit à ce point. Le point où j'ai coupé les liens avec mon Twin-flame et que je ne veux pas d'avenir avec lui.

Heureusement, j'ai décidé d'être célibataire et de sortir avec d'autres personnes, des personnes qui apprécient ce que je vaux et ce que je représente. Être et se sentir petit n'est pas durable et ne peut durer que si longtemps.

Notre histoire m'a laissé un profond chagrin d'amour. Cependant, je considère que c'est positif. Je m'en vais avec beaucoup plus que ce que je pensais.

Voici ce que j'ai appris de ce chagrin d'amour:

1. S'intégrer dans le moule de quelqu'un d'autre étouffe.

Ma flamme jumelle a une très grande personnalité et peut être envahissante. Moi aussi, je ne suis pas un ange. Cependant, j'ai appris à pouvoir l'atténuer. En atténuant les effets, je me suis trouvé à l'apaiser et à satisfaire ses besoins dans notre relation. Oublier ce que je veux vraiment, cela peut arriver si vite. Cela a commencé avec le fait de permettre de petites choses et de laisser trop de choses continuer heureusement, affectant ainsi mon estime de moi et mon bien-être général.

J’ai appris que je suis censé être dans le moule que je me suis créé, et non celui de quelqu'un d’autre. Vivre une vie faite des attentes de quelqu'un d’autre n’est pas vraiment vivre parce que cela lui donne trop de responsabilités dans votre vie.

2. La relation Twin-Flame est destinée à vous changer. Alors, soit fait.

J'avais tellement peur de perdre ma Twin— flamme parce que je l'aimais. Hors de cette peur, je me suis tenu pour la vie chère. Je le tenais comme s'il était ma source de vie. Le danger était que je l’autorise à se comporter de manière à ne me faire reprocher à personne. J'ai fait des recherches sur une relation Twine-flamme et j'ai découvert que ces relations sont censées entrer dans votre vie et vous changer. Ce n'est pas pour toujours. La pensée de cela m'a terriblement effrayé jusqu'à ce qu'il me fasse mal et on m'a rappelé que personne ne vaut la peine de s'y accrocher, surtout s'ils ne sont là que pour vous faire sentir mal à propos de qui vous êtes et de votre existence.

3. La vie continue.

Il y a toujours une vie après le chagrin d'amour. Et, chaque fois que j'oublie ça, ça me rappelle. Aujourd'hui, je suis le plus heureux que j'ai jamais été parce que je sais que j'ai donné et fait tout ce que j'ai pu dans la relation. Donc, je peux partir avec un sourire sur mon visage. Je ne souris pas toujours. Parfois, je suis triste et blessé, mais c’est la vie. Particulièrement, lorsque vous aurez affaire à l'amour, toutes vos émotions seront révélées. Ce qui va bien. Je peux me réjouir de ma vie et du chapitre suivant avec les leçons que j'ai apprises et la transformation qui s'est produite en moi.

4. L'amour c'est du travail mais pas de l'angoisse.

J'étais à Sephora et une chanson de mon Twin-flame a été entendue et, étonnamment, j'ai souri. J'ai pensé à tous les bons souvenirs que nous avions et cela a réchauffé mon cœur. Après cela, je me suis souvenu de la façon dont il m'a fait mal. Je me suis décidé à considérer ce chapitre comme ayant fonctionné exactement comme prévu. J’ai appris l’une des meilleures leçons que j’ai jamais pu apprendre: l’amour, c’est du travail mais pas de l’angoisse. Vers la fin de notre relation, je me suis senti pris au piège, solitaire et triste la plupart du temps. Ce qui n'est pas ce qu'il devrait être. Même si l'amour exige du travail, personne ne devrait se sentir laissé dans le noir.

J'attends avec impatience les jours et les relations que je ressens comme un travail d'amour sans agonie. J'ai l'espoir que cette relation est dans mon avenir.

Dear W, (I forgive you)

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Dear W, I forgive you 

I forgive you because revenge is an ugly colour to wear. 

I forgive you because this chapter is one that is done and only a small fraction of what makes up of my life. 

I forgive you because I see the lesson of why you came into my life. The lesson is fulfilled and completed. 

I forgive you because feeling anger and vengeance only puts energy into emotions that are depleting.

To restore and find peace, I forgive. Because forgiveness is the most powerful way to have control over a situation. 

4 Things that I have learnt from my recent heartbreak.

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It’s funny how we think we have learnt everything that we need to learn and then along comes something else to teach us something to help us understand ourselves or life better. 

If you are not up to speed with my Twin—flame journey, please read the other articles in our LOVE section so that you can understand what has lead me to this point. The point where I have cut ties with my Twin-flame and do not want a future with him. 

Fortunately, I have decided to be single and date other people- people who appreciate my worth and what I stand for. Being and feeling small is not sustainable and can only last for so long. 

Our story has left me in deep heartache. However, I look at it as a positive. I am walking away with a lot more than I thought that I would. 

This is what I learnt from this heartbreak:

1. Fitting into someone else’s mould of you is stifling. 

My twin flame has a very big personality and can be overbearing. So do I. I am no angel; however, I have learnt to be able to tone it down. In my toning it down, I found myself appeasing him and his needs in our relationship. Forgetting about what I truly want- it can happen so quickly. It started with me allowing small things and turned into allowing too much to go on, happily, having an effect on my self-esteem and my general well-being. 

I learnt that I am meant to be in the mould that I make for myself, not someone else’s. Living a life made up of someone else’s expectations is not truly living because it gives them too much responsibility over your life. 

2. The Twin-Flame relationship is meant to come and change you. Then, be done. 

I was so afraid of losing my Twi—flame because I loved him. Out of this fear, I held on for dear life. I held onto him like he was my life source. The dangerous thing about that was that I allowed him to behave in a way that I wouldn’t anyone else. I did some research on a Twine-flame relationship and found out that, they are meant to come into your life and change you. It is not forever. The thought of that scared me immensely until he hurt me and I was reminded that no one is worth holding on to- especially if they are only around to make you feel badly about who you are and your existence. 

3. Life goes on. 

There is always life after heartache. And, every time that I forget that, I am reminded. Today, I am the happiest that I have ever been because I know that I have given and done all that I could in the relationship. So, I can walk away with a smile on my face. I’m not always smiling. Sometimes I’m sad and hurt - but that is life. Particularly, when you deal with love, it will bring out all of your emotions. Which is okay. I can gladly look forward to my life and the next chapter with the lessons that I learnt and the transformation that has happened inside of me. 

4. Love is work but not anguish. 

I was in Sephora and a song of my Twin-flame’s came on and, surprisingly, I smiled. I thought of all the fond memories that we had and it warmed my heart. Following that was the memory of how he hurt me. I made a choice to myself to look at this chapter as having worked out exactly the way that it was meant to. I learnt one of the best lessons that I could’ve ever learnt: love is work but not anguish. Towards the end of our relationship, I felt trapped, lonely and sad most of the time. Which is not the way that it should be. Even though love requires work, no one should feel left in the dark. 

I look forward to the days and relationship that I feel the work of love without the agony. I have hope that this relationship is in my future.

Dear God, (my prayer for cutting ties with someone)

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Dear God, 

Please give me the strength that I need to progress. I know that you know how hard I tried to make this work. My previous force for this relationship has left me in this position. The position where I have to choose where to go. I choose to move forward without this person. 

Please show me how? I am clear about my decision and need your guidance on how to maintain peace and love during this difficult process. 

I’m at the point in my life where love, peace and respect are the most important things to me; if something/someone does not align with it, I choose to let them go. Please help me align my choices? By giving me the strength to keep distance between me and this person. It is clear that this person keeps leading me down a trap to making me feel bad about myself and my existence. 

I believe in myself and what I stand for so, please give me the strength to walk away from people who treat me like I am second or unworthy?

God, I believe that you will because you have always been there for me before. 

Please guide me to moving forward with love and forgiveness? 

Amen,  

4 Things that my Twin-Flame connection has taught me.

Image from Unsplash  

In my last article, I wrote about the journey that I have been on with my twin-flame, or what some people refer to as soulmate. Following this article, I have received many questions about my journey.

One of the main questions was, what is the point of this connection between two people? It is believed that the main reason for this connection is to elevate both people in this connection so that they elevate the level of consciousness in The World. Therefore, a lot of growth needs to happen within both people for them to re-unite otherwise it is destructive.
So, I only found it fitting that I write about the four main things that I have learnt about myself through this journey:

1. Insecurity begins from within.
After I met my twin-flame, he came into my workplace with another woman and I swore that I would never speak to him again. I blocked him on social media and asked myself how rude it is for someone who is interested in me to show up with another woman? Looking back, I was projecting my insecurities onto him. I never even asked who she was to him. I was so hurt by my past that I assumed what had happened to me would happen again. In the past, I have had relationships where the person that I was with felt insecure and projected that into me, by telling me that I wasn’t worthy or making me feel that way. So, when I saw my twin-flame asking for things for another woman, my old story came up. The story that says that I am not enough. I found myself resenting him for it until one day, I broke free of this story and freed myself of the need to carry baggage and insecurities from my past. I created a new story: I am love, I am light and I am enough, whether someone else thinks so or not.

2. Hate is attachment too.
During my angry phase with my twin-flame, I swore that I would never speak to him again. I received signs from The Universe: See his name on billboards, people would mention him around me and I would come into contact with people who knew him. I was running away from him and what he came with, only to be followed by messages of him. I woke up one day, crying as I asked myself why him? I had developed so much hate from him that it was affecting me. I would hope that I never saw him again and when I did, I would act like he didn’t exist or that I didn’t know him. After my fits of rage and upset out of disappointment, I had a realization that hate is attachment. The kind kind of attachment that breeds hostility and negativity. It was weighing me down. I decided to move forward towards forgiveness and love. I did so by meditating and accepting him for who he is while releasing any need for him to act and be the way that I want him to be.

3. Forgiveness is the foundation of any relationship.
As I mentioned in the last article, I had trouble accepting his past- sometimes I still do. You see, I have spent a lot of my adulthood, seeking peace and health. And, I had always thought that my twin-flame was somewhere on this Earth doing the same. So, when I found out that he was a producer in the music industry, I was disappointed because that industry comes from what I have spent my life running away from: drugs, exploitation of women and toxic people. I was on a bus in Colorado when it dawned on me that, his past has brought him to this point. Whatever has led him to this point, I need to be grateful for and through gratitude, I found forgiveness. Through forgiveness, I can appreciate him for who he is. He is a wonderful person with a past and I can’t hold my past against him because if I do, I block the love that we can give to each other whole-heartedly.

4. Let love in.
A part of me was afraid to love him because I was holding onto what has happened before. I found myself speaking (during a class that I was teaching) about being open and trusting love. The thought came to my mind, have I? Have I been open? The answer was no. Then I thought, why? Another thought came to me saying that the past might happen again. I began an inward battle of the devil vs. the angel. The devil being the one that wanted me to stay in resentment and hold onto the past and anger; the angel wanted me to progress, to forgive and to let my twin flame’s love in. From that moment on, I chose to let his love in. Everyday, I choose to let his love in because his love makes me feel safe, helps me break boundaries & limitations that I have placed on myself and, reminds me that we deserve love.