5 Dinge wat ek wens ek het geweet voor my eerste langtermyn verhouding.

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Ek sou my eerste langtermynverhouding as 'n mengsel van hierdie byvoeglike naamwoorde beskryf: wonderlik, kragtig, disfunksioneel en wisselvallig. Ek is tevrede met hoe dinge in my lewe uitgedraai het, maar ek wonder dikwels hoe dinge sou uitgedraai het as ek die volgende geken het:

1. Net omdat iemand van jou hou, beteken nie dat hulle aan jou behoort nie.

Jou lewensmaat was lewendig voordat jy hom ontmoet het. Dit verminder nie jou liefde om te onthou en erken dat die twee van julle afsonderlike lewens en verskillende prestasies het nie. Om verlief te wees op iemand beteken nie dat jy elke minuut met jou maat moet spandeer nie; dit beteken om die meeste te maak van die tyd wat jy saam wil spandeer.

2. Jy kan nie jou maat dwing om te verander nie.

Jou maat is óf wie jy wil hê hy moet wees, of hy is nie. Ons lieg dikwels oor wie mense is of wat hulle ons vertel omdat ons sien wat ons wil hê die situasie moet lyk, nie hoe dit werklik is nie. Die waarheid sal uiteindelik uitkom, of dit op die eerste of op jou tiende herdenking is.

3. Slegs jy kan jouself voltooi.

Ons word dikwels vertel dat twee helftes gelyk is aan 'n geheel. Wiskundig is dit korrek, maar in 'n verhouding is hierdie reël nie van toepassing nie. Afhangende van iemand anders om jou te voltooi, stel jou verhouding tot mislukking omdat jy verwag dat 'n ander, onvolmaakte persoon jou onvolmaakthede sal opmaak. Natuurlik sal liefde wat gesond is, jou help om jouself te verbeter; Daar is egter geen behoefte om jou liefde te belas met verwagtinge wat waarskynlik nie bevredig sal word nie.

4. Jou vriende en familie onthou wat jy aan hulle vertel het oor jou verhouding.

As jy voortdurend kla oor jou maat aan jou vriende en familie, moenie verbaas wees as hulle nie vir jou verhouding wortel nie. Hulle het waarskynlik die beste vir jou, en as hulle net hoor wat verkeerd gaan, moenie hulle ontstel as hulle nie ondersteun wat jy as problematies beskryf het nie.

5. "Ons" en "ons" word nie net vir die goeie tye gebruik nie.

Ons het 'n neiging om ons vennote te verwelkom wanneer dinge goed gaan in 'n verhouding, maar wanneer dinge nie goed gaan nie, is ons onsself onsself. Verhoudings gaan deur moeilike tye; Dit is hoe jy met hulle omgaan wat 'n verskil in die algehele uitkoms maak. Verdeling tussen die twee van u sal nie duidelikheid gee nie - kommunikasie sal. Kommunikasie vind slegs plaas as jy bereid is om jou maat te betrek in 'n dialoog van wat gebeur het. Jy sal net deur moeilikheid kan werk deur hindernisse saam te konfronteer.

5 choses que je sais avec certitude.

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L'une des plus belles choses de la vie, c'est que lorsque nous sommes mis au défi, nous grandissons et, au fur et à mesure que nous apprenons, nous pouvons enseigner et inspirer les autres.

Au cours de mes trente années d’expérience, j’ai appris beaucoup de choses. Certains sont restés bloqués et d'autres non.

Voici 5 choses que je sais avec certitude:

1. La vie est trop précieuse pour être dépensée en personnes toxiques.

Quand j'étais plus jeune, j'étais mannequin et chanteur. Quand j'étais dans ces industries, je ressentais tellement de pression pour m'intégrer et se conformer. Jusqu'au jour où j'en ai eu assez et je me suis promis de ne plus jamais m'en sortir. C’est ce qui est venu avec l’intégration et l’un des problèmes qui s’y est ajouté est la nécessité d’avoir des gens autour de moi tout le temps - même si ces personnes étaient toxiques pour moi. Je ne suis pas un ange; Cependant, je me suis retrouvé plus souvent entouré de gens mesquins, superficiels et jaloux que je ne le souhaitais. J'avais 22 ans quand j'ai décidé que ce n'était pas le chemin de carrière pour moi et, avec cela, ma décision a été de laisser les gens toxiques en paix. Ce n'est pas à moi de les valider ou de leur faire sentir qu'ils sont en sécurité. Je suis le seul à pouvoir me valider et ce sont eux seuls à pouvoir se valider.

2. Vous n'êtes pas obligé d'être ami avec tout le monde.

C’est drôle qu’en grandissant, j’ai compris cela. Cependant, lorsque je suis devenu adulte et que j'ai déménagé dans un pays étranger, j'ai ressenti le besoin de bien m'entendre avec tout le monde. Culturellement, on m'a dit que si vous n'aimez pas quelqu'un, vous n'avez pas à le forcer. Cependant, lorsque je suis déménagé aux États-Unis, j’ai ressenti le besoin de sourire aux gens que je n’aimais pas ou avec qui je ne m'entendais pas, afin de s’intégrer à la culture d'ici.

Il y a quelques années, je me suis rappelé l'authenticité et son sens: être vrai. J'ai décidé de rester dans mon authenticité et de ne sourire que si j'en ressentais le besoin. J’habite à Los Angeles et aucune autre ville n’affirme l’idée que ce n’est pas parce que les sourires sourient qu’ils sont heureux ou comme vous, comme dans toute autre ville ou tout autre lieu que j’ai vécu. Les amis sont des personnes que vous choisissez d'être dans votre vie. c'est toujours un choix de les garder.

3. Tout est dedans.

Comme je l'ai déjà mentionné, j'ai été exposé à deux industries basées sur la valeur externe lorsque j'étais adolescente. Après avoir quitté ces industries, j'ai réalisé à quel point j'avais pesé de l'extérieur: à quoi je ressemblais, qui je savais, ce que je portais et quel type de gadgets j'avais.

Un jour, j'ai regardé une vidéo d'un Yogi qui est mort nommé Pattabhi Jois. Il a expliqué dans cette vidéo que si nous comprenions la capacité que nous avions à l'intérieur, nous ferions la paix en ayant besoin de la rechercher à l'extérieur. Entendre cela ne résolut pas tous les problèmes de ma vie, mais me fit comprendre que je suis plus puissant que je ne le pensais et que je ne l’ai jamais cru. Une fois que nous avons accès à ce pouvoir, nous nous alignons sur un objectif supérieur. Un système qui est plus sûr, plus sain et plus sûr que d'avoir besoin du monde extérieur pour nous satisfaire.

4. La force prend du temps et de la pratique.

Nous pouvons tous prétendre être forts jusqu'à ce que nous soyons appelés à l'être. Nous découvrons alors notre vraie force. J'ai appris cette leçon récemment lorsque quelqu'un que je connais m'a appelé méchant et sorcière, littéralement derrière mon dos quand je me tenais devant elle. Mon sang a commencé à bouillir et j'ai alors pensé à la façon dont entendre ce que j'ai entendu pourrait me rendre plus fort.

Je me suis dit: "Si je suis vraiment fort, alors pourquoi est-ce que cela me concerne?" J'ai décidé d'utiliser ce que j'ai entendu pour exercer ma force: ignorer les commentaires toxiques et les personnes toxiques, respirer et répéter une affirmation positive dans ma tête qui m'aidera. voir l'image plus grande. Que tout le monde nous enseigne, quelle est la leçon que je dois apprendre?

5. Tout le monde n'est pas pour moi. Ce qui va bien.

Un des problèmes de la société est que nous cherchons constamment à être validés et parfois, à des personnes qui ne méritent pas de dire ce que nous sommes, ce que nous faisons et ce en quoi nous croyons. J'ai suffisamment passé de temps à convaincre les gens. qui n'a pas aimé que je m'aime, seulement pour se rendre compte du danger qui vient avec cela. Rechercher la validation de personnes qui ne vous aiment pas vous donne du pouvoir et du temps, deux choses que vous ne pourrez jamais récupérer. Si vous devez convaincre quelqu'un de vous aimer, vous avez de plus gros problèmes que l'autre personne. Il ya une partie de vous qui ne se sent pas digne d’être et c’est ce qui doit être abordé et guéri avant de tenter de convertir un ennemi en quelqu'un qui vous aime.

5 Things that I know for sure.

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One of the most beautiful things about life is that as we are challenged, we grow and, as we learn, we can teach and inspire others.

In my thirty years of life experience, I have learnt many things. Some have stuck and some have not.

Here are 5 things that I know for sure:

1. Life is too precious to spend on toxic people.

When I was younger, I was a Model and a Singer. When I was in these industries, I felt so much pressure to fit-in and conform. Until one day, I had enough and promised myself that I would never put myself through that again. That, being what came with fitting-in and one of the problems that came with fitting in was the need to have people around me at all times- even if those people were toxic for me. I’m no angel; however, I found myself surrounded by petty, superficial and jealous people more often than I wanted to be. I was 22 when I decided that was not the career path for me and, with that came my decision to leave toxic people alone. It is not up to me to validate them or make them feel secure. I am the only one who can validate myself and, they are the only ones who can validate themselves.

2. You don’t have to be friends with everyone.

It’s funny that growing up, I understood this. However, as I became an adult and moved to a foreign country, I felt the need to get along with everyone. Culturally, I was raised that if you don’t like someone, you don’t have to force it. However, moving to The U.S.A. I felt this need to smile at people that I didn’t like or get along with in order to fit-in to the culture here.

A few years ago, I reminded myself of authenticity and what it meant: to be true. I decided to stand in my authenticity and only smile if I felt the need. I live in Los Angeles and, no other city affirms the idea that just because someone smiles doesn’t mean they are happy or like you, like any other city or place that I have experienced. Friends are people that you choose to be in your life; it is always a choice to keep them around.

3. All is within.

As I mentioned before, I was exposed to two industries when I was a teenager that are based on external value. After I left these industries, I realized how much weight I had put on the external: what I looked like, who I knew, what I wore and what kind of gadgets I had.

One day, I watched a video of a Yogi who has passed on named, Pattabhi Jois. He explained in this video that if we understood the capability that we had on the inside, we would make peace with needing to search for it on the outside. Hearing this didn’t solve every problem that I had ever had in my life but it gave me a deep understanding that I am more powerful than I know and have ever believed. Once we access that power is when we align with a higher purpose. One that is safer, healthier and more secure than needing the external world to fulfill us.

4. Strength takes time and practice.

We can all claim to be strong until we are called to be so- then we find out our true strength. I learnt this lesson recently when someone I know called me evil and a witch, literally behind my back when I was standing in front of her. My blood began to boil and then I thought of how hearing what I heard could make me stronger.

I said to myself, ‘If I am truly strong then why is this affecting me?’ I decided to use what I heard to practice my strength: ignoring toxic comments &toxic people, breathing and repeating a positive affirmation in my head that will help me see the bigger picture. That everyone is teaching us, what is the lesson that I need to learn?

5. Not everyone is for me. Which is okay.

One of the problems in society is that we are constantly seeking validation and sometimes, from people who don’t deserve to have a say about who we are, what we do and what we believe in. I have spent enough time trying to convince people who didn’t like me to like me, only to realize the danger that comes with that. Seeking validation from people who don’t like you gives them power and time- both of which you can never get back. If you have to convince someone to like you, you have bigger problems than the other person. There is a part of you that doesn’t feel worthy and that is what needs to be addressed& healed first before attempting to convert a hater into someone who likes you.

Izinto ezingu-4 engazifunda ngokuthandana nomfundi wami.

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Ngenxa yokuhlonipha ubuhlobo bami bamanje, ngizogcina lolu daba luyimfihlo, njengoba ubuqotho bami bubulala umlingani wami wamanje. Kodwa-ke, ngifuna ukubuyekezwa okwedlule isikhashana ukwabelana ngalokho engikufundile kumuntu owenze esikhathini sami esidlule.

Akusekudala ukuthi ngiphelile ukuthi umuntu ongazange ngithole angilandele futhi wangibiza ngaphandle kwenombolo iminyaka emithathu. Ngamlahla ngoba ngibone ukuthi wayenendlela yokulawula futhi eyimfihlo ngenkathi iqiniso liphuma. Ngabuza imibuzo eminingi. Ngokuyinhloko, lokhu kungenzeke kanjani kimi? Iqiniso liwukuthi kungenzeka kunoma ubani ngoba abantu bazingela umdlalo wabo, futhi uma benquma ukuthi ungumzingeli, kunjalo. Bayoba yibo abacabanga ukuthi ufuna ukuba khona ukuze uzigcine.

Ngithemba le ndaba kusiza umuntu okhona noma okwamanje ozwa isipiliyoni sami.

Yilokho engangikufunde ukuphola nomuntu:

1. Thembela intuition yakho.

Kuyangizwisa ubuhlungu ukuthi kukhona izibonakaliso zokuxwayisa. Abantu bangasho izinto ezinjalo, "uziqhenya" futhi "bhekani ngokucophelela". Ngobusuku obunye, eminyakeni emibili eyedlule, sahamba ngosuku lwethu lokuqala sahamba ekhaya, sazi ukuthi ngiphila ngaphandle kombala. Ngabuza ukuthi ngingaba namasiko noma cha; ukukhumbula nje ukuthi angizange ngikuthande. Ungase ubuze, kungani engakhumbuli lapho emtshela? Yini eqinisa iphuzu lami. Umqondo wami wabuza ukuthi wayazi kanjani; Noma kunjalo, ngikhululekile futhi ngicabanga ukuthi ngeke kulandele. Njalo lapho ngikhohlwa, ngikhunjuzwa ukuthi indlela uNkulunkulu ekhuluma ngayo. Ngakho-ke, uma izwi elincane ekhanda lakho lithi "hmmmm" noma "ezithakazelisayo"? Qaphela! Ingasindisa impilo yakho.

2. Uma kuhle ngempela ukuba yiqiniso, cishe.

Lapho ngitshela i-stalker yami, bekuyohlale kulungile. Ngithole ukuthi lokhu kusho njalo ukuthi yini engidinga ukuyizwa. Ungase ubuze, yini engalungile ngalokho? Impendulo ngezinye izikhathi impendulo efanele ngaso sonke isikhathi. Ngesikhathi nje ngizwa ukuthi ingitshele ukuthi ngifuna ukuzwa ngakho ngingamthandi. Ngabona nokuthi wayenomusa kakhulu futhi omuhle kimi, kodwa hhayi kwabanye. Kwangenza ngibuze. Uma othile ekubukeka kahle kodwa enenkinga efanayo nabanye, kukhona okumele akhathazeke ngakho.

3. Ungazibeki icala.

Lapho ngithola ukuthi ngidumale nomuntu ofunda nami, wangitshela wabe esebiza iminyaka emithathu, kwakunzima. Ingxenye eyinkimbinkimbi kunazo zonke indlela engizizwa ngayo. Ngabuyela kwinani lezikhathi ayekade ekhona ngempela, kodwa ngakhetha ukungayinaki. Ngezinye izikhathi ngikhumbula lapho ngikhumbula izinto ezincane ezibonisa ukuthi ungubani. Noma kunjalo, isikweletu ngeke siholele ekuthuthukiseni. Wakhetha ukuthuthuka ngokuthethelela nokuqonda. Ezinye izifundo zinzima kakhulu, ngakho-ke sikhumbula lokho esinakho empilweni yethu yonke kuze kube yilapho sesikukhohliwe isikhathi eside.

4. Uthando lungokoqobo.

Intukuthelo yami ekugcineni kobudlelwane imnandi kakhulu kangangokuthi, lapho ngibandakanyeka, ngithanda umuntu. Imigomo yami yokufaka ubuhlobo ayengekho. Ngangihlale ngisazi ukuthi "u-stalker" wami wayefisa kakhulu kunokuba ngangivame ukuba naye. Ngakho, indawo yonke ifanisa ubuqiniso bami komunye nomunye. Ngandlela-thile, ukuma noma ukwakha iphutha lami kwaba; Kodwa-ke, uma ungekho esikhathini lapho ngahlangana nomunye umuntu, ungahlotshisiwe futhi uhlanganiswe. Mhlawumbe ngangingekho naye. Siyabonga, ngenza kube ephephile futhi kuzwakala. Ngemuva kwalokho, ngangibuza, "Uzama ukungibulala noma ukungihlasela?" Angazi impendulo yalo mbuzo. Into eyodwa engiyaziyo ukuthi lapho ekhona futhi eqinisweni kuyisivikelo. Ikuvikela kubantu abahlakaniphile nabademoni. Ngiphinde ngikhethe futhi ngihlale ngikhetha ukuthi ngiyiqiniso mayelana nemizwa yami nokuthi yini empilweni yami ngoba abantu abaseduze nawe basesimweni esiyingozi ngoba bafuna okuthile kuwe. Futhi, ungazi ukuthi kuyini.

12 raisons pour lesquelles vous devriez méditer.

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La méditation est pratiquée dans certaines cultures orientales depuis au moins 5000 ans. Et maintenant, le monde occidental a exploité les avantages. Les scientifiques confirment maintenant ce que certaines traditions de l'Est ont connu auparavant.

Voici les douze raisons pour lesquelles vous devriez méditer:



1. Il soulage le stress.

2. Cela accentue votre concentration.

3. Cela vous permet d'être en paix dans le calme.

4. Cela crée une position ferme en soi.

5. Cela crée de la clarté dans votre cerveau.

6. Cela crée de la clarté dans votre vie.

7. Il peut aider avec les problèmes cardiovasculaires et l'hypertension.

8. Il peut soulager les migraines et les maux de tête causés par le stress de la sensibilité à la lumière

9. Cela peut vous aider à être plus présent.

10. Il crée une base solide de confiance en soi.

11. Il améliore la fonction cérébrale.

12. Cela peut aider à réduire votre potentiel de développement de maladies liées au cerveau qui se développent avec le temps.



* Découvrez notre dernière méditation dans Le Magasin.

12 Reasons why you should meditate.

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Meditation has been practiced in some Eastern Cultures for at least 5000 years. And now, The Western World has tapped into the benefits. Scientists confirm now what some traditions from The East have known before.

These are the twelve reasons why you should meditate:

1. It relieves stress.

2. It sharpens your focus.

3. It allows you to be at peace in stillness.

4. It creates a firm stance within oneself.

5. It creates clarity in your brain.

6. It creates clarity in your life.

7. It can help with cardiovascular issues and hypertension.

8. It can relieve one of migraines and headaches caused by stress of light sensitivity.

9. It can help you be more present.

10. It creates a solid foundation of self worth.

11. It improves brain function.

12. It can help reduce your potential of developing brain-related diseases that develop over time.

*Check out our latest meditation in Le Magasin. 

12 redes dat ek myself vergewe.

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Dit het my 'n rukkie geneem om te besef dat perfeksie vervelig is en nie die moeite werd is om te hardloop nie. Ek het geleer om te groei in sterkte en helderheid in teenstelling met perfek.

Aangesien ek my behoefte om perfek te wees, laat val het, het ek ook wat ek voorheen teen myself gehou het, laat val. Ek was (soms nog steeds) te hard op myself. Ek het egter geleer dat negatiwiteit iets is wat ek agterlaat.

Dit alles kom neer op vergifnis. Gebruik my verlede en hede om op 'n gesonde manier te vorder. Hier is 12 redes waarom ek myself vergewe:

1. Ek vergewe myself omdat ek nie perfek is en nie bedoel is om te wees nie.

2. Ek vergewe myself omdat die bagasie van die verlede in my gedagtes gehou word.

3. Ek vergewe myself omdat die verlede my hierheen gelei het, so ek is dankbaar.

4. Ek vergewe myself omdat vergifnis vir ander met my begin.

5. Ek vergewe myself, ek doen die beste wat ek kan, my beste is my beste nie-enigiemand anders nie.

6. Ek vergewe myself, want ek is my beste ondersteuningsisteem, wat my verbind tot die verlede, hou my net terug.

7. Ek vergewe myself omdat vryheid begin met my en wat ek kies om vas te hou.

8. Ek vergewe myself omdat vooruitgang 'n keuse is.

9. Ek vergewe myself omdat daar net soveel keer is dat ek deur die verlede in my gedagtes kan gaan.

10. Ek vergewe myself omdat ek is wat ek kies om myself te onthou as.

11. Ek vergewe myself omdat selfrefleksie nie negatief of hard moet wees nie.

12. Ek vergewe myself omdat ek dankbaar is vir wat ek nie reggekry het nie. Mislukkings kan stene trap as ek dit toelaat.

12 Reasons to forgive myself.

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It has taken me a while to realize that perfection is boring and not worth running after. I have learnt to grow in strength and clarity as opposed to be perfect.

As I have dropped my need to be perfect, I have also dropped what I previously held against myself. I used to be (sometimes am still) too hard on myself. However, I have learnt that negativity is something that I want to leave behind.

It all boils down to forgiveness. Using my past and present to progress in a healthy way. Here are 12 reasons why I forgive myself:

1. I forgive myself because I am not perfect and not meant to be.

2. I forgive myself because the baggage of the past is being held in my mind.

3. I forgive myself because the past led me to here so I am grateful.

4. I forgive myself because forgiveness for others starts with me.

5. I forgive myself I am doing the best that I can, my best is my best- not anyone else’s.

6. I forgive myself because I am my best support system, chaining myself to the past only holds me back.

7. I forgive myself because freedom begins with me and what I choose to hold on to.

8. I forgive myself because progress is a choice.

9. I forgive myself because there are only so many times that I can go through the past in my mind.

10. I forgive myself because I am who I choose to remember myself as.

11. I forgive myself because self-reflection does not have to be negative or harsh.

12. I forgive myself because I am grateful for what I didn’t get right. Failures can be stepping stones, if I allow.

15 raisons pour lesquelles je pardonne quand il est difficile de.

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J'ai vraiment appris la semaine dernière (après la rupture) que parfois la personne la plus difficile à pardonner est celle contre laquelle vous voulez rester en colère.

* Veuillez lire les deux derniers articles de notre section AMOUR si vous n’êtes pas à la hauteur.

La semaine dernière, je me suis concentré sur le pardon afin de pouvoir me débarrasser de la toxicité qui se manifestait dans la vie par la douleur. Douleur qui a été infligée par quelqu'un avec qui j'étais auparavant.

Une autre chose que j’ai apprise, c’est que la douleur aime se personnifier et que si vous ne l’attrapez pas, elle prendra une vie à part. C’est pourquoi le pardon est la meilleure option pour moi pour le moment:

Voici 15 raisons pour lesquelles le pardon est si important pour moi en ce moment:

1. Je pardonne parce que les habitudes et les pensées toxiques n’ont pas leur place dans mon esprit ni dans mon cœur.

2. Je pardonne parce que la vie est une question de progrès.

3. Je pardonne parce que la liberté commence par la paix.

4. Je pardonne parce que c’est quand j’ai le plus besoin de pardonner.

5. Je pardonne parce que je veux voir le bon côté des choses.

6. Je pardonne parce que je veux sortir de ma propre voie.

7. Je pardonne parce que je veux garder mon coeur ouvert.

8. Je pardonne parce que la douleur dure aussi longtemps que je le veux.

9. Je pardonne parce qu'il y a toujours une image plus grande. Je ne comprendrai peut-être pas aujourd'hui, mais un jour, je le comprendrai.

10. Je pardonne parce que, parfois, l'amour nécessite de laisser le passé de côté.

11. Je pardonne parce que le meilleur moyen d'apprendre est de devenir un observateur.

12. Je pardonne parce que j'ai fini de prendre les choses personnellement.

13. Je pardonne parce que mon état d'esprit détermine la façon dont je guéris.

14. Je pardonne parce que ce moment vaut la peine d'être apprécié sans que le nuage du passé ne pleuve dessus.

15. Je pardonne parce que je refuse de conserver les bagages de quelqu'un d'autre. C’est leur problème à régler, tout comme j’ai le mien à traiter.

Izizathu ezine engizibonga ngazo ngabantu abangithandi.

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Sonke sazi okungenani esisodwa. Bangase babe umngane, umntakwethu, umzali, usebenza naye, umphathi noma omunye umuntu empilweni yethu othola indlela yakhe futhi ngaleyo ndlela, uthola indlela yabanye.

Laba bantu bangabazonda futhi ngeke bajabule uma wenza kahle noma kukhona ukuthula empilweni yakho.

Lapho ngisemncane, ngichitha isikhathi esiningi ngigxile ekushintsheni laba bantu, ngibaphoqele ukuba bahluke noma bazame ukukhanyisa. Kodwa-ke, lokho engikufundile ukuthi abanye abantu (kungakhathaliseki ukuthi uzama kangaki) badonseleka kokubi. Bazizwa bephansi futhi umgomo wabo ukuletha phansi ezingeni labo.

Nazi izizathu ezine ukuthi kungani ngiyabonga ngalaba bantu empilweni yami:

1. Basiza ukusetha imingcele.

Kulula ukusetha imingcele nomuntu oqonda ukuthi kungani uzibeka. Kodwa-ke, abantu abayinselele kakhulu ukubeka imingcele nabanqabile ngoba imingcele ivame iphuzu labo elibuthakathaka. Ukukwazi ukusho, 'Angiyikuvumela ukungabi nandaba kwakho kungibhubhise, usuku lwami noma impilo yami' ingenye yemingcele eqinile kakhulu ongayenza nomunye umuntu. Ngoba kukukhumbuza ukuthi uyabaluleka futhi uma uzovumela umuntu ongeyena ukuthi angene endleleni okholelwa ngayo ngawe.

2. Bangakusiza nge-drive yakho.

Ngezinye izikhathi othisha abahamba phambili bangabantu ababi kakhulu. Ngezinye izikhathi kuthatha ukufunda isifundo kumuntu onomusa futhi onomusa ukucwilisa umlayezo ebuchosheni nasezinkumbulo zethu. Ngezinye izikhathi kuthatha umuntu ongakholelwa kuwe ukuthi ukholelwe kuwe. Akuwona wonke umuntu oyobe nomusa kuwe kodwa ingabe lokho kuzokuvimba? Noma, ikunika ukushayela? Lokho, kuyisinqumo sakho.

3. Bangakusiza ube namandla.

Ngisanda kukhunjuzwa ngalesi sifundo. Singazibiza siqinile kuze kube yilapho sibhekene nenselele edinga amandla. Ngaphakathi kwalolu daba, siqinile yini? Kulula ukushumayela ngamandla njengothisha; Nokho, abangizondayo engizizwile ngokuqondile bangibiza okubi emehlweni ami bangibonisa ukuthi nginamandla kangakanani. Ukunciphisa izindinganiso zethu ukuhlangabezana nalabo abathandekayo bethu kubuthakathaka. Amandla kusho ukuthatha umgwaqo ophakeme lapho sifuna ukunikela kakhulu.

4. Bangikhumbuza ukuthi ngingagxila kuphi.

Ngifundisa i-yoga ekilasini eminyakeni embalwa eyedlule futhi udokotela, phakathi nendawo ukuya ekilasini, wangibiza igama elibi futhi ngashiya studio. Ngangineminyaka engamashumi amabili nanhlanu ubudala enesifiso esinesifiso esikhulu esasikhathazekile kakhulu ngalokho abantu ababekucabanga ngakho ngaleso sikhathi. Ngemva kokukhala kimi, abantu abangamashumi amathathu bashiywe ekilasini futhi ngenza isinqumo: Ngingacabanga ngowesifazane ongekho oshiya noma egxile kubantu abaye bakhetha ukuhlala ekilasini lami. Ngaleso sikhathi, ngakhetha abantu abangamashumi amathathu ababesele futhi ngazithembisa ukuthi ngizoqhubeka ngenza kanjalo empilweni yami. Ngithembisa ukuthi ngiyohlale ngibheka abantu abanomusa futhi abanompilo empilweni yami futhi ngithatha amandla kubantu ababi ngenxa yokuthi ngizikhethele ukuzigcina, nxazonke, ngokomzimba nangokwengqondo, noma cha.

The 4 Reasons why I am grateful for my haters.

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We all know at least one. They might be a friend, sibling, parent, colleague, boss or anyone else in our life who gets in their own way and thus, gets in the way of others.

These people are haters and they will never be happy if you are doing well or are at peace in your life.

When I was younger, I spent so much time focused on changing these people, forcing them to be different or trying to enlighten them. However, what I have learnt is that some people (no matter how many times you try) are drawn to the negative. They feel low and their mission is to bring you down to their level.

Here are the 4 reasons why I am grateful for these people in my life:

1. They help set boundaries.

It’s easy to set boundaries with someone who understands why you are setting them. However, the most challenging people to set boundaries with are haters because boundaries are usually their weak point. Being able to say, ‘I will not let your negativity destroy me, my day or my life’ is one of the most solid boundaries that you can set with someone. Because it reminds you of your worth and if you will let someone negative get in the way of what you believe about yourself.

2. They can help you with your drive.

Sometimes the best teachers are the worst kind of people. Sometimes it takes learning a lesson from someone who is mean and unkind to sink a message into our brains and memories. Sometimes it takes someone not believing in you for you to believe in yourself. Not everyone will be kind to you but will that stop you? Or, give you drive? That, is your choice.

3. They can help you get stronger.

I recently was reminded of this lesson. We can call ourselves strong until we are faced with a challenge that requires strength. In the midst of that challenge, are we strong? It’s easy to preach about strength as a teacher; however, my haters who I have literally heard call me evil in my presence prove to me how strong I am. Lowering our standards to meet those of our haters is weak. Strength means taking the high road when we want to give in the most.

4. They remind me where to focus my attention.

I taught a yoga class a few years ago and a practitioner, mid-way through class, called me a nasty name and left the studio. I was a twenty-five year-old wishy-washy young adult who was so bothered by what people thought of her, at that time. After she yelled at me, thirty people were left in class and I made a decision: I could either focus on the negative woman that left or focus on the people who have chosen to stay in my class. At that moment, I chose the thirty people who remained and promised myself to continue to do so in my life. I promised myself that I would always focus on the kind and positive people in my life and take power away from negative people because it’s my choice to keep them around, physically and mentally, or not.

15 Reasons I have learnt to forgive when I didn’t want to.

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I have truly learnt in the past week (post break-up) that sometimes the hardest person to forgive is the one that you want to stay angry at.

*Please read the last two articles in our LOVE section if you are not up to speed.

This past week, I have been focusing on forgiveness so that I can rid myself of toxicity which manifested it’s way into my life through pain. Pain that was inflicted by someone who I used to be with.

Something else that I have learnt is that pain likes to personify itself and if you don’t catch it, it will take on a life of its own. That’s why forgiveness is the best option for me right now:

Here are 15 reasons why forgiveness is so important to me right now:

1. I forgive because toxic habits and thoughts have no place in my mind and my heart.

2. I forgive because life is about progress.

3. I forgive because freedom starts with peace.

4. I forgive because when it’s most difficult to forgive is when I need to.

5. I forgive because I want to see the silver-lining.

6. I forgive because I want to get out of my own way.

7. I forgive because I want to keep my heart open.

8. I forgive because pain goes on for as long as I want it to.

9. I forgive because there is always a bigger picture. I may not understand today but one day, I will.

10. I forgive because sometimes love requires actively leaving the past behind.

11. I forgive because the best way to learn is to become the observer.

12. I forgive because I am done taking things personally.

13. I forgive because my mindset determines how I heal.

14. I forgive because this moment is worth enjoying without the cloud of the past raining on it.

15. I forgive because I refuse to hold on to someone else’s baggage. That is theirs to deal with as I have mine to deal with, too.

4 Things that I wish I’d known before my spirituality journey in this lifetime- not religious.

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I live in Los Angeles, the Mecca of spirituality in The U.S.A. You would think that I would only have great things to say about this, right? However, just like in life, not everything is black and white. Nuance can be applied to everything, including spirituality.

Even though both of my parents are spiritual people, I had to discover my own path. I don’t regret the journey at all because most times, not knowing opens space for us to truly learn with an open mind and heart.

If I could’ve know some things before my journey, they would be the following:

1. Spirituality is not always light.

I come from two extremely positive parents who always encouraged me that God and The Universe has my back. I know that this is not the average perspective because some people believe in the dark. I don’t mean dark like witchery (which can be darkness or light), I mean curses and using The Universe to manipulate people and things. One of the many great things about our lives is that they are usually direct reflections of what we are putting out. You might call yourself spiritual but what kind of spirituality are you aligning yourself with? The darkness (manipulation and force) or the light (manifestation, abundance and acceptance).

2. Just because you smile doesn’t mean that you aren’t in pain.

Everyone can wear a smile. However, internal happiness and wellbeing takes work. Daily practice and daily work to choose the path of enlightenment. As a yoga teacher, I encounter many yoga teachers who are in it for the enlightenment and wellness of all; however, unfortunately, I meet more teachers who are in it for self-elevation and Ego. The Ego is often an of extension of pain and until we learn to heal the pain that has occurred and manifested in our minds, bodies and lives, we will continue to think that we are above everyone else. However, the foundation of spirituality is connection- understanding that we are of the same: love.

3. Spirituality is a journey not a destination.

An extension of the last paragraph, in Western culture, we believe that if we receive a teacher-training or certificate makes us worthy of being followed on our spiritual path. However, in other cultures, who you are and what you represent is. Growing up in South Africa gave me an irreplaceable perspective that if I hurt my neighbour, I hurt myself because we are all connected. It also taught me that positivity is a daily practice and doesn’t happen when I get something but when I choose to be positive. Western Culture focuses so much on what we can get and then we’ll be happy: cars, phones, houses and other materials. This has been translated into our spiritual practice through having the right yoga-wear, practicing at the ‘best studio’, drinking the right kombucha, having celebrities practice next to us- all of this and then we will be spiritual. However, spirituality isn’t attached to when, it is attached to now. In this moment, will you be here?

4. Spirituality is not a replacement for therapy.

There is a huge difference between spirituality and therapy. The two cannot replace each other. Sometimes I hear people say that yoga can replace therapy which is dangerous. If you have been through something traumatic and need to speak to someone, please do so. Yoga teachers and the Asanas are not a replacement for someone who has been through years of study to hold you accountable for your healing. The same goes for tarot card readers, psychics, reiki healers and more. Asana (physical practice) of yoga is meant to show you your sanskars (behavioural patterns) so that it can enlighten you; accountability is a choice. If you have been through something that requires professional help, please seek it! So that someone can apply their expertise to what you are going through.

Imithetho engu-12 ye-karma

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Imithetho engu-12 ye-Karma

UMthetho Omkhulu ~ Uma uhlwanyela, uzokuvuna kanjalo.

Umthetho Wokudala ~ Ukuphila akukwenzeka nje, kudinga ukuhlanganyela kwethu.

Umthetho Wokuthobeka ~ Yini oyenqaba ukuyamukela, izoqhubeka ikulandela.

Umthetho Wokukhula ~ Nomaphi lapho uya khona, ulapha.

Umthetho Wemithwalo Yomthwalo ~ Noma nini lapho kukhona okungalungile, singathola lelo phutha ngaphakathi kokucabanga / umbono wethu.

Umthetho Wokuxhumeka ~ Ngisho noma into esiyenzayo ibonakala ingenakuthola, kubaluleke kakhulu ukuthi yenziwe njengento yonke e-Universe ixhunyiwe.

Umthetho Wokugxila ~ Awunakucabanga ngezinto ezimbili ngesikhathi esisodwa.

Umthetho Wokupha Nokungenisa Izihambi ~ Uma ukholelwa ukuthi kukhona okuyiqiniso, khona-ke esikhathini esithile empilweni yakho uzobizwa ukuba ubonise lokho.

Umthetho Welapha Nanjengoko ~ Ukubuka emuva ukuhlola ukuthi kwakunjani, kusivimbela ukuba singene lapha futhi manje.

Umthetho Wokuguquka ~ Umlando uyaziphindaphinda uze sifunde izifundo esizidingayo ukuze sishintshe indlela yethu.

Umthetho wokubekezela kanye nomvuzo ~ Zonke imivuzo zidinga ukuqala ukusebenza. Imiklomelo yokubaluleka okuhlala njalo idinga ukukhandleka kokugula nokuphikelela.

UMthetho Wokubaluleka Nokuphefumulelwa ~ Ubuyela emuva kokuthile noma yini oyifake kuyo.

kubhekiswe: www.oakwoodyoga.co.uk

The 12 Laws of Karma

The 12 Laws of Karma

The Great Law ~ As you sow, so shall you reap.

The Law of Creation ~ Life doesn't just happen, it requires our participation.

The Law of Humility ~ What you refuse to accept, will keep following you.

The Law of Growth ~ Wherever you go, there you are.

The Law of Responsibility ~ Whenever there is something wrong, we can find that error within our thinking/perception.

The Law of Connection ~ Even if something we do seems inconsequential, it is very important that it gets done as everything in the Universe is connected.

The Law of Focus ~ You can't think of two things at the same time.

The Law of Giving and Hospitality ~ If you believe something to be true, then sometime in your life you will be called upon to demonstrate that truth.

The Law of Here and Now ~ Looking back to examine what was, prevents us from being totally in the here and now.

The Law of Change ~ History repeats itself until we learn the lessons that we need to change our path.

The Law of Patience and Reward ~ All Rewards require initial toil. Rewards of lasting value require patient and persistent toil.

The Law of Significance and Inspiration ~ You get back from something whatever you've put into it.

referenced: www.oakwoodyoga.co.uk

10 quotes to help you release toxic people and things.

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We all need support and, the best support often happens when we are going through challenge.

As someone who recently let go of a few toxic people in their life, I know that I need support.

We often think of support being in the form of a person. However, support can also be in the form of affirmations, mantras and quotes.

So, I have compiled a list of quotes to help anyone stayed encouraged during the release of toxicity in their life:

1. ‘A year from now, you will have wished that you had started today.’ -Karen Lambe

2. ‘Just as God opens doors. God closes doors. Don’t get stuck trying to hold on to something that’s over and done.’ - Joel Osteen

3. ‘Do not let the behaviour of others destroy your inner peace.’ - Dalai Lama.

4. ‘To see what is right and not do it is cowardice.’- Confucius

5. ‘If I am not good to myself, how can I expect anyone else to be good to me?’- Maya Angelou

6. ‘Letting go doesn’t mean ignoring a situation.’ - Iyanla Vanzant

7. ‘If friends disappoint you over and over, that’s in large your own fault.’ - Oprah Winfrey

8. ‘Turn your wounds into wisdom.’ - Oprah Winfrey

9. ‘You don’t have to feel guilty about removing toxic people from your life.’ - Daniell Koepke

10. ‘I can make it through the rain. I can stand up once again on my own.’- Mariah Carey

Chère Fake Girl ,

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Chère Fake Girl,

Je sais pourquoi tu bouges comme tu bouges. Vous n'avez jamais eu la chance de rester ferme dans votre vérité. Et maintenant, votre vérité est devenue floue. et ainsi ont vos actions et vos mots.

Vous voyez, être faux est une façade. La façade est très visible. Il est visible que vous tenir devant un miroir vous fait souffrir et que vous vous répandez sous forme de potins, d’agressivité passive et de manque de sincérité.

Comme avec n'importe quoi d'autre, la façade s'estompe et quand c'est le cas, que laisserez-vous derrière? Un jour, personne ne se souciera de ce que vous avez à dire car le sourire que vous portez ne contient aucune sincérité ni authenticité. Les gens sont plus intelligents que vous ne le pensez.

Donc, au lieu de répandre un faux amour et de faux compliments. Peut-être essayer d'être réel? Recherchez le véritable amour et le soutien en vous afin de pouvoir le transmettre aux autres.

Ce que nous accumulons dans nos esprits, nos corps et nos âmes se propage avec énergie. Donc, ne soyez pas surpris si vous avez actuellement de faux amis et des personnes autour de vous qui sont floconneux. Une fois que vous aurez appris à vous tenir dans votre vérité, vous pourrez / pourrez répandre un véritable amour et de la gentillesse.

Commencez dès aujourd’hui car chaque moment est trop important pour que nous passions à la recherche de choses pour nous compléter. Votre véritable pouvoir consiste à savoir et à comprendre que vous êtes suffisant. Votre véritable identité suffit, même si les autres ne l’acceptent pas. Vous n'avez pas besoin de leur acceptation. Vous êtes le seul à avoir besoin de vous accepter.

12 mentiras que solía decirme que ahora no creo.

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Soy un firme creyente en las afirmaciones positivas porque somos lo que / quiénes creemos que somos. Por lo tanto, es importante mantener nuestros pensamientos sobre nosotros mismos positivos y de apoyo porque nos convertimos en lo que creemos.

No siempre he sido tan positivo. Cuando no fui tan positivo, el mayor error que cometí fue creer lo negativo que la gente decía sobre mí. Convierto sus mentiras en verdad.

Ahora que sé que estas creencias son mentiras, puedo decir claramente que son 12 mentiras que una vez me dije a mí mismo que no son ciertas:

1. Soy desagradable.

2. Soy perezoso.

3. No soy inteligente.

4. Soy cruel.

5. Soy gordo.

6. Soy una puta.

7. No soy talentoso.

8. Soy como todos los demás.

9. Nunca llegaré a nada.

10. Soy falso.

11. Soy fea.

12. No soy suficiente.

12 Lies that I once told myself that I no longer believe.

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I am a firm-believer in positive affirmations because we are what/who we believe ourselves to be. So, it is important to keep our thoughts about ourselves positive and supportive because we become what we believe.

I haven’t always been this positive. When I wasn’t this positive, the biggest mistake that I made was believing negative things people said about me. I turned their lies into truth.

Now that I know that these beliefs are lies, I can clearly say that these are 12 lies I once told myself that aren’t true:

1. I am unlovable.

2. I am lazy.

3. I am not smart.

4. I am unkind.

5. I am fat.

6. I am a slut.

7. I am not talented.

8. I am like everyone else.

9. I will never amount to anything.

10. I am fake.

11. I am ugly.

12. I am not enough.

Dear Fake Girl,

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 Dear Fake Girl,

I know why you move the way that you move. You have never had a chance to stand firm in your truth. And, now your truth has become foggy. and so have your actions and your words.

You see, being fake is a facade. The facade is very visible. It is visible that standing in front of a mirror pains you and that pain you spread through gossip, passive aggressiveness and lack of sincerity.

Just like with anything else, the facade fades and when it does, what will you leave behind? One day, no one will care what you have to say because the smile that you wear holds no sincerity and genuineness. People are smarter than you think.

So, instead of spreading fake love and fake compliments. Maybe try being real? Seek real love and support within yourself so that you can spread it to others.

What we accumulate in our minds, bodies and our souls spreads energetically. So, don’t be surprised if right now you have fake friends and people around you who are flakey. Only once you learn to stand in your truth can you/ will you be able to spread genuine love and kindness.

So, start today because each moment is too important to spend seeking things to complete us. Your true power stands in knowing and understanding that you are enough. Your genuine self is enough, even if others don’t accept it. You don’t need their acceptance. You are the only one who needs to accept you.