Together, we rise! With Alena Wertalik.

Alena Wertalik

1. What has been a big part of your growth as a woman?

Growing up, I was trained by an ex-captain of the Mexican calvary horseback riding. I worked with him from when I was 8-years old to about 18-years old. He taught me how to build an impenetrable wall and be “bulletproof”. I was very clear on what this meant: that whatever hit me, physically, emotionally, mentally, it would bounce right off me, and I would keep going. 

I was proud of this armor, and am grateful for the process of building it up, because it ingrained in me the discipline and stamina that I have today. I am also just as grateful for the processes and experiences that asked me to do the painful work of breaking that armor down, which mostly happened in my last 10 years as a yoga teacher. The best way I can describe how this working of “breaking down” has shifted me is in how it has changed my definition of what it means to be bulletproof – I no longer see it as something hitting me and bouncing off before I keep going. Now, when “it” hits, it penetrates. I feel it fully. And I keep going. 

2.    Who, which person (s) has inspired you to stay true to your role in your divine feminine?

Someone who I have yet to meet – my unborn daughter. At the time of writing this I am five months pregnant. In the last five months I have seen and felt so much of why my body was designed how it was, and it has changed my relationship with it. I thought I had learned to love my body through the practice of celebrating it, but the love I have for it now is unconditional. This baby has taught me how to respect not only my boundaries, but to see what I am capable of. And, I know that her greatest moments of inspiration have yet to come. One of them will be when I give birth in March 2021, because the times when I have felt my most divine feminine have been in my moments of complete surrender, and I know that giving birth will be a great experience of this feminine power. 

3. What other women have supported you when you needed it the most?

I have a support system of women that I am in awe of. They are stunning, strong and encompass what I strive to be every day. I do give myself some credit for having chosen the women I surround myself with, but I actually have to give most of that credit to my mom. My mom has four daughters who have all chosen unique paths and have walked them with fierce independence. She has instilled in us what it means to love fully, take responsibility for our choices, and commit to doing the right thing, whatever the cost. 

4. What has been the hardest part of being a strong woman? 

To notice when I’m teetering that line between being strong and being tough. The difference between the two, to me, is that to be strong there has to be an element of vulnerability, which I feel is an innate ability that women are often taught to suppress.  On the surface, this makes some sense; if you look up “vulnerable” in the dictionary, it says “susceptible to emotional or physical attack or harm,” which I imagine doesn’t seem desirable to most. However, I have noticed that the mechanisms and experiences that have asked me to be the most vulnerable have been the ones that have allowed me to connect and grow. My truest moments of vulnerability have turned out to also be the strongest I have experienced.

5. Where do you see yourself evolving in the next few years? 

I, like most, have seen and experienced a lot of destruction this year. On a personal level, this included the loss of my job, my apartment, and many of the people I considered friends. But from destruction comes evolution, and I am already seeing signs of it. One major way of course is becoming a mother and a wife in the next year. I am also in the process of getting my applications ready to start law school next fall, and pursue something that has been a dream of mine for a long time. And I will keep teaching yoga! I’m very excited to be working with a childhood friend of mine on a barre/yoga virtual studio called Better Balance Fitness that will be launching in the next couple of weeks.

6.  What imprint would you like to leave on the world? 

Probably one that no one will ever notice because it happens as a byproduct of the collective consciousness – of us each choosing to see ourselves in one another and committing to lifting each other up to be the best versions of ourselves. 

7. What is your social media or ways that we can keep up with you and your work? 

My instagram is @onebreath_onemovement.

9 banderas rojas de una narcisista.

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No lo sé todo. Sin embargo, cuando aprendo, me gusta enseñar desde un lugar de experiencia y sabiduría. He pasado el último año y medio, estudiando y sanando relaciones narcisistas como resultado de estar en muchas.
Algunos en mi vida amorosa, otros en mi familia y trabajo. Ha sido un viaje y uno continuo.

Ha requerido autorreflexión, crecimiento y estar dispuesto a ver cómo desempeñaba un papel para poder seguir adelante. Verá, todo narcisista necesita a alguien o algo que les proporcione una falsa sensación de ser y una autoestima exagerada porque en el fondo se sienten indignos.

Eso no es lo único que convierte a algunos en narcisistas. A continuación le proporcioné una lista de si podría estar tratando con uno para que pueda obtener el profesional que necesita para seguir adelante con su vida de esta persona. Aquí hay 9 banderas rojas de narcisistas:

1. Te bombardean con amor un día y te rechazan al siguiente.

2. Tienen muy poca autorreflexión.

3. Nunca es culpa de ellos. Los encontrará culpando a otros por lo que han hecho.

4. Proyectan sus intenciones sobre ti. Por ejemplo, te engañan en una relación, pero luego están celosos de la perspectiva de que los engañes.

5. Te sientes incómodo y usado cuando (o después de estar) en su presencia.

6. Solo hablan mal de los demás.

7. Eligen carreras en las que son el centro de atención, como enseñar, actuar o bailar. No todos los artistas son narcisistas, pero se necesita un nivel de narcisismo para querer que los demás te vean en público; no es malo tener algunas tendencias narcisistas.

8. Tienen dificultad para disculparse.

9. Carecen de empatía o compasión. Usar frases como "Deberías haberlo sabido mejor" cuando necesitas confianza.

9 Red flags of a Narcissist.

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I am not all-knowing. However, when I learn, I like to teach from a place of experience and wisdom. I have spent the last year and a half, studying and healing from narcissistic relationships as a result of being in many. Some in my love life, others in my family and work. 

It has been a journey and a continuous one. It has required self-reflection, growth and being willing to see how I played a part so that I can move forward from it. 

You see, every narcissist needs someone or something to provide them with a false sense of being and exaggerated self-worth because deep down, they feel unworthy. That is not the only thing that makes some a narcissist. I have provided a list below as to if you might be dealing with one so that you can get the professional that you need in order to move on with your life from this person. 

Here are 9 red flags of Narcissists: 

1. They love-bomb you one day and reject you the next. 

2. They have very little self-reflection. 

3. It is never their fault. You’ll find them blaming others for what they have done. 

4. They project their intentions onto you. For example, they cheat on you in relationship but then are jealous of the prospect of you cheating. 

5. You feel uneasy and used when (or after being) in their presence. 

6. They only speak ill of others. 

7. They choose careers where they are in the spotlight, like teaching, acting or dancing. Not all performers are narcissists but it does take a level of narcissism to want others to see you on a public level- it’s not bad to have a few narcissistic tendencies. 

8. They have difficulty apologizing. 

9. They lack empathy or compassion. Using phrases like, ‘You should’ve known better’ when you need confiding. 

9 Signs of a narcissistic parent.

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We all know one, or a few. I went to a private school for most of my life and they are magnets for narcissistic parents. Those who use their kids for show and lack empathy and compassion towards them. 

You see, many people have children as an extension of themselves and this is dangerous because kids are who they are- an extension of God and not that person; no matter who’s DNA they may share. 

I could tell you personal stories of dealing with narcissistic parents. However, I would like to keep this short. One day, I will elaborate on this. 

For today, however, here are 9 signs of a narcissistic parent:

1. They shame their children in public. 

2. They gloat about how their child has done well. 

3. They compete with their children for attention. 

4. They guilt their children into doing better instead of encouraging them. 

5. If their child(ren) speaks up, they are told to be quiet with no explanation as to why. 

6. They make their children feel unworthy. 

7. They use their children for money or guilt the child into taking responsibility for things that they are too young to comprehend. 

8. They covertly or overtly dominate the child’s life. 

9. They can never take criticism of their parental skills. They respond back with phrases like, ‘I did everything I could for you’, or,  ‘You are ungrateful’, whenever you feel mistreated. 

9 Cosas que preferiría ser otra que rica.

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A veces me encuentro atrapado en la necesidad de ganar dinero para sentirme digno y luego recuerdo que el dinero no lo es todo.

Es solo una herramienta. Sí, nos puede brindar oportunidades; pero también pueden hacerlo nuestros cuerpos, nuestras mentes, nuestras relaciones y nuestra mentalidad. Tener dinero no está mal, es lo que hacemos con él y cómo lo obtenemos lo que puede llevarnos por un camino destructivo.

Entonces, aquí hay 9 cosas que preferiría ser además de rico:

1. Humilde.

2. En paz conmigo mismo.

3. En sincronía con la vida.

4. Un hijo de Dios.

5. Ricos en mente y manifestaciones.

6. Una persona genuina y sincera.

7. Alguien que apoya a otros.

8. Alguien que me mantenga.
9. Alguien que hace limonada con limones, ¡en sentido figurado, obviamente!

9 Things that I would rather be other than rich.

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Sometimes I find myself being caught in the need to make money in order to feel worthy and then I remember that money is not everything. It is just a tool. Yes, it can provide us with opportunities; but so can our bodies, our minds, our relationships and our mindsets. 

Having money is not bad, it is what we do with it and how we obtain it that can lead us down a destructive path. So, here are 9 things that I would rather be other than rich: 

1. Humble.

2. At peace with myself. 

3. In-sync with life. 

4. A Child of God. 

5. Wealthy in mind and manifestations. 

6. A genuine and sincere person. 

7. Someone who supports others. 

8. Someone who supports myself. 

9. Someone who makes lemonade out of lemons- figuratively obviously! 

9 Banderas rojas de amigas falsas.

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Soy Acuario y está en nuestra naturaleza, en su mayor parte, querer muchos amigos y ser amigable con todos. Aunque esto me ha permitido conocer a las personas más increíbles; También he sido un imán para amigos mal intencionados.

Me costó ver y demostrar que tenía algunos amigos a mi alrededor que eran amigos míos porque estaba saliendo con un productor famoso para establecer límites y ser honesto conmigo mismo. Estaba cansado de estar ahí para las personas que no estaban ahí para mí o que si lo estuvieran me criticarían. Entonces, tomé la ruta veraz y ya no atraigo a amigos que me usan.

No cuento todo lo que los amigos hacen por mí, pero me doy cuenta de quién está ahí para mí cuando recibirán algo de él en lugar de hacerlo porque realmente disfrutan de mi compañía o están en mi misma vibración. Para mí, nunca puedes ser demasiado amable o demasiado abierto. Es a quién nos estamos abriendo lo que hace una gran diferencia.

Aquí hay 9 banderas rojas de un amigo falso:

1. Te iluminan al no escucharte o desaparecen cuando los necesitas.

2. Sientes que no puedes hablar en su presencia.

3. Se acercan a usted para criticarlo o pedirle algo que necesitan.

4. Copian tu estilo o las ideas que tienes.

5. Nunca te sientes seguro y escuchado a tu alrededor.

6. Son negativos sobre tu futuro y lo que tienes para ofrecer a los demás.

7. Hablan mucho de dinero y usan a otras personas. Pssst ... algún día, te usarán.

8. Te sientes física o emocionalmente agotado cuando los dejas.
9. Cuando lo haces bien, dudan de ti. Cuando los necesita, no los hay. Pero, cuando eres mediocre, acuden en masa a ti porque están felices porque no creces ni eres auténtico.

9 Red flags of fake friends.

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I am an Aquarius and it is in our nature, for the most part, to want lots of friends and to be friendly with everyone. Although this has allowed me to meet the most amazing people; I have also been a magnet for friends who are ill-intended. 

It took me seeing and being shown that I had some friends around me who were friends with me because I was dating a famous Producer for me to set up boundaries and be honest with myself. I was tired of being there for people who weren’t there for me or if they were, would criticize me. 

So, I took the truthful route and no longer attract friends who use me. I don’t count everything friends do for me but I notice who is there for me when they will receive something from it versus because they genuinely enjoy my company or are on the same vibration of me. 

To me, you can never be too nice or too open. It is who we are opening ourselves up to that makes a big difference. 

Here are 9 red flags of a fake friend: 

1. They gaslight you by not listening to you or disappearing when you need them. 

2. You feel like you can’t speak up in their presence. 

3. They reach out to you to criticize you or ask you for something they need. 

4. They copy your style or ideas that you have. 

5. You never really feel safe and heard around them. 

6. They are negative about your future and what you have to offer others. 

7. They speak a lot about money and use other people. Pssst... one day, they will use you. 

8. You feel physically or emotionally drained when you leave them. 

9. When you do well, they doubt you. When you need them, they are not around. But, when you are mediocre, they flock to you because they are happy with you not growing or being authentic.

3 Things I wish I was told as a kid.

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I have recently overcome the pain and trauma associated with my childhood. It has taken being truthful, finding forgiveness and making peace with the past so that I can process it- in a gentle and loving way. 

This is not to blame anyone but I think as a child, we are often not told some things that can be vital for our growth. As I have forgiven my parents, particularly one parent, I have let go of the need to criticize them and add to that pain. I feel like enough people have judged me and held me to an impossible expectation for me to do it another. 

Ultimately, we forgive so that we are forgiven and I am not an angel. Like I mentioned, this is not about blame but it is about truth and honesty is the only way forward because secrets manifest into physical and/or emotional abuse, trauma and damage that can be detrimental to the fabric of our souls and beings. 

I made a choice in my life to be honest to break the generational trauma that had been passed down to me. The biggest one is that you don’t tell people what you’re going through because no one must know how you really feel. There is freedom in confronting the truth and in helping others do the same. 

So, here are 3 things that I wish I had been told as a child: 

1. You are not crazy, your school teacher(s) might not like you but I support you and am willing to speak up for you. 

I can countlessly remember when I would come home (as a child) and express how I felt picked on by my teachers. In all honesty, I hated school. I was bullied a lot, mostly by my teachers. But, you see, in traditionally African families, bullying is meant to be ignored. 

I have recently overcome the immense resentment that I carried to many of my teachers when I recently saw some of them and saw insecure people who just wanted to be liked. Hence, why they were bullies. I would be lying if I said that when I would tell my parents that my teachers were bullying me that it didn’t leave intense scarring on my emotional well-being. But, what is done is done! 

I wish I had heard that I wasn’t crazy when a teacher would tell me to sit down because the speech that I had spent so much time on was, in her words, ‘appalling and not worth listening to’, after I spoke one sentence of it. These experiences are painful and un-necessary- no matter who tells you that you need them to become stronger. So, I ask all parents to listen to your children if they feel like their teacher is bullying them. They are worthy of being listened to.  I would have had more trust in the education system and trusted authority more if I had felt heard, seen and listened to. 

It is a myth to think that teachers do not have an influence on what and how your child learns, pay attention to any feedback your child has about them. 

2. You don’t need to attend college to be successful at something that you want to do. 

I am an advocate for education and learning. I probably read a book a week. My thirst for knowledge is something that has been a common thread in my life. Something that I have learnt from absorbing tons of information is that you have to want to learn what you are consuming. 

We are in the Information Age and we have the fortune of being able to learn at the top of our fingertips- yet most people are still ignorant and unaware. I am grateful to have been born to two Scientists and have learnt a lot from them. Particularly my Father who’s brain is like a high-tech machine, he is truly a genius and revolutionary. 

However, their path and mine is different. They were able to be the first in their family to attend college and I applaud them but it is not for everyone. I have a few certifications and have spent years in tertiary education, which I am grateful I have been able to do. But, there is not one path to success. Some of the most successful people attended trade schools, didn’t finish college or took a coding class instead of attending traditional college. 

As long as you are giving your all, thriving and headed forward in the direction that you are mean to, I support whatever route you take. 

3. There is no age to success. 

Both my parents taught me many lessons but my Dad’s words of wisdom have stuck with me when I really needed them. I am grateful to have a Father like him. 

I am not sure where I learnt this conditioning of needing to ‘Keep up With The Joneses’ but I used to suffer from it and every time I had a birthday, I would become depressed. Every year, this feeling dissipates more and more but I can say now when the feeling of seeming unaccomplished comes along, I know it is not true. Not because of what I have accomplished but because the need to compete with others, when it is not for fun, is based on a lie.

The lie that looking at what someone else’s life will bring me happiness and joy when happiness is a choice. What I have or haven’t had is meant for me: whether it’s in the form of lessons or materials. I am grateful for everything in my life, including opportunities that I have ‘missed out on’. 

9 choses que j'apprends pour un enseignant spiritue.

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Il y a près de 8 ans, j'ai commencé mon parcours en tant que professeur de yoga puis coach de santé et maintenant professeur d'orientation spirituelle. J'ai des souvenirs de qui j'étais quand j'ai commencé à enseigner et je me sens comme une personne complètement différente parce que je le suis.

Vous voyez, quand j'ai commencé à enseigner, j'étais plus faible mentalement et émotionnellement, j'avais peu de limites et j'avais peur de parler en mon nom. Si quelqu'un m'avait dit que je serais là où je suis aujourd'hui, je serais choqué de pouvoir endurer autant en tant qu'enseignant parce que ce n'est pas pour les faibles ou l'insécurité. En fait, au fil du temps, votre personnage (ou son absence) est révélé.

C'est pourquoi de nombreuses personnes arrêtent d'enseigner le yoga. Il y a environ 5 ans, j'ai pris la décision de renoncer à la nécessité de m'intégrer dans la pensée de groupe de l'enseignement parce que j'ai vu beaucoup de mes collègues remplis de douleur et de douleur, ce n'était pas abordé. J'ai décidé de me regarder dans le miroir et de faire le vrai travail, en tant qu'enseignant, et de laisser aller le besoin de dire aux autres ce qu'il fallait faire si je ne faisais pas de même. La meilleure façon d'enseigner est d'être un exemple. Un dont je m'efforce tous les jours.

Au cours de ce processus, j'ai désappris beaucoup de choses en tant qu'enseignant spirituel. En voici 9:

1) Que mes déclencheurs sont la faute de quelqu'un d'autre.

2) Que tous mes élèves apprendront de moi.

3) Que je peux imposer mon opinion aux autres.

4) Que l'enseignement d'un lieu d'insécurité me procurera une sécurité. Il n'y a pas de faux sens de soi.

5) Que si quelqu'un se plaint de moi, cela vaut la peine de le mériter.

6) Que si je dis aux autres quoi faire, je suis immunisé pour la responsabilité de ma propre vie.

7) Que le yoga guérira miraculeusement tous mes problèmes.

8) Que je dois supporter l'incohérence et l'absence de limites.
9) Je dois m'accrocher à la douleur ou à la douleur de quelqu'un d'autre pour l'aider à la surmonter. Je suis libre de corps, d'esprit et d'esprit. Je n'ai pas besoin d'être alourdi par des fardeaux.

9 Things I am unlearning as a Spiritual Teacher.

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Almost 8 years ago, I began my journey as a yoga teacher then health coach and now spiritual guidance teacher. I have memories of who I used to be when I first started teaching and I feel like a completely different person because I am. 

You see when I started teaching, I was mentally and emotionally weaker, I had little boundaries and, I was afraid to speak up for myself. If someone had told me that I would be where I am today, I would be shocked that I could endure so much as a teacher because it is not for the weak or insecure. In fact, overtime your character (or lack of) is revealed. That is why many people quit teaching yoga. 

About 5 years ago, I made a decision to let go of the need to fit into the group-thinking of teaching because I saw a lot of my colleagues filled with pain and hurt, that was not being addressed. I decided to look in the mirror and do the real-work, as a teacher, and let go of the need to tell others what to do if I was not doing the same. 

The best way to teach is by being an example. One of which I strive for everyday. Along this process, I have been unlearningmany things as a spiritual teacher. Here are 9 of them: 

1) That my triggers are someone else’s fault. 

2) That all of my students will learn from me. 

3) That I can enforce my opinion on others. 

4) That teaching from a place of insecurity will provide me security. There is no faking sense of self. 

5) That if someone complains about me, it is worth giving merit. 

6) That if I tell others what to do, I am immune for the responsibility of my own life. 

7) That yoga will miraculously cure all of my problems. 

8) That I need to put up with inconsistency and lack of boundaries. 

9) That I need to hold onto someone else’s hurt or pain to help them get through it. I am free, in body, mind and spirit. I do not need to be weighed down by burdens. 

Why do I want to forgive her?

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Why do I want to forgive her? 

Because, truthfully, not everyone is coming from a genuine place. 

I forgive her because a lot of us have been conditioned to operate from a place of fear and, I too, was like that. 

I forgive her because she has shown me that she is not a friend. And, better to know now than down the road in my life. 

I forgive her because my intuition was right. I knew that she was inauthentic and would not be there for me when I needed her. 

I forgive her because I can’t control her so I choose to send her love from a distance where I know that her actions will not affect me anymore. 

I forgive her because her hurt is like hot lava and will spread and hurt anyone around her, by proxy. 

I forgive her because I am too old to deal with passive communication. I try my best to communicate from a place of integrity and then move forward with love. 

I forgive her because life is too short to dwell on people and situations that would rather see you upset than happy most of the time. 

Lo que se necesitó para llegar a mí.

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Me tomó admitir que he tenido expectativas innecesarias para mí y para los demás para llegar a mí.

Me tomó comprender que la lujuria y los enamoramientos no son amor real, para llegar a mí.

Me tomó estar en paz conmigo mismo, para llegar a mí.

Me tomó dejar de culpar a todos los hombres vivos por algunos que se habían equivocado, para llegar a mí.

Me tomó entregar mi corazón, alma y cuerpo a Dios, para llegar a mí.

Me tomó aceptar que la intuición es real para llegar a mí. Me costó dejar ir la necesidad de competir con otra mujer por la atención de un hombre, para llegar a mí.

Me tomó comprender el poder del perdón para llegar a mí.

Me tomó aceptar que la salud en las relaciones es atractiva para llegar a mí.

What it took to get to me-September 2020

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It took me admitting that I have had unnecessary expectations for myself and others, to get to me. 

It took me understanding that lusting and crushes are not real love, to get to me. 

It took me being at peace with myself, to get to me. 

It took me letting go of blaming every man alive for some who have been misguided, to get to me. 

It took me surrendering my heart, soul and body to God, to get to me. 

It took me accepting that intuition is real, to get to me. 

It took me letting go of the need to compete with another woman for a man’s attention, to get to me. 

It took me understanding the power of forgiveness, to get to me. 

It took me accepting that health in relationships is attractive, to get to me. 

9 façons de définir des limites claires.

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Je suis un ardent défenseur des limites saines. J'ai beaucoup grandi en étant une personne «oui» et cela m'a privé de ma présence, m'a maudit d'anxiété et, par-dessus tout, m'a volé la paix. Sous mon besoin de plaire à la mentalité, il y avait le besoin de contrôler ce que les gens ressentaient et pensaient à moi.

Dans ma logique précédente, si j'étais la personne «parfaite», personne ne m'intimiderait, ne discuterait avec moi ou ne rendrait ma vie problématique. J'avais tort. Mon ancien manque de limites m'a conduit à être un paillasson pour ceux qui ont vu qu'ils pouvaient l'utiliser contre moi dans tous les domaines de ma vie: famille, travail et relations amoureuses.

Les fondements du Yoga et cette pratique m'ont aidé à fixer des limites parce que je consacrais 90 minutes par jour pour moi, mon esprit et mon corps - pour être loin de toute autre chose. J'ai mis en œuvre des croyances yogiques comme l'abandon, la méditation et la reconnaissance que mon corps est un temple dans ma vie quotidienne.

Alors que je commençais à m'ancrer dans ma pratique quotidienne, j'ai commencé à me tenir plus grand et plus fier de qui j'étais - me permettant de fixer des limites claires. Soudain, mon «oui» était oui et mon «non» était non sans culpabilité, colère ou besoin de plaire. Voici 9 façons de définir des limites saines:

1. Dites ce que vous devez dire en toute confiance.

2. Prenez de grandes respirations avant et après avoir parlé avec conviction.

3. Ne prenez pas personnellement la réponse de l’autre personne à votre limite.

4. Commencez à pratiquer le pardon afin de pouvoir parler à partir d'un lieu ancré et non de colère ou d'irrationalité.

5. Lâchez le besoin d'avoir raison.

6. Laissez tomber le besoin de se tromper.

7. Comprenez que vous ne pouvez pas changer le passé, mais que vous pouvez créer votre avenir par des limites claires.

8. Lâchez le besoin de l'autre personne de comprendre d'où vous venez et définissez la limite pour vous.

9. Acceptez qu'il est normal de prendre soin de vous-même et de renoncer à toute culpabilité liée à la communication de votre frontière à un autre.

9 Ways to set clear boundaries.

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I am a huge advocate for having healthy boundaries. I grew up being a ‘yes’ person a lot and it robbed me of being present, cursed me with anxiety and, over all, stole my peace. 

Underneath my need to please mentality was the need to control how people felt and thought about me. In my previous logic, if I was the ‘perfect’ person than no one would bully me, argue with me or make my life problematic. I was wrong. My previous lack of boundaries led me to be a doormat for those who saw that they could use it against me in all areas of my life: family, work and romantic partnerships. 

The foundation of Yoga and this practice helped me to set boundaries because I set aside 90 minutes a day for myself, my mind and my body- to be away from anything else. I implemented yogic beliefs like surrender, meditation and acknowledging that my body is a temple into my daily life.

 As I began to ground myself in my daily practice, I started to stand taller and prouder of who I was- allowing me to set clear boundaries. Suddenly, my ‘yes’ was yes and my ‘no’ was no without guilt, anger or the need to please.

 Here are 9 ways to set healthy boundaries:

 1. Say what you need to say with confidence.

 2. Take deep breaths before and after you speak with conviction.

 3. Don’t take the other person’s response to your boundary personally.

 4. Start to practice forgiveness so that you can speak from a grounded place and not anger or irrationality. 

5. Let go of the need to be right. 

6. Let go of the need to be wrong. 

7. Understand that you can’t change the past but you can create your future by clear boundaries. 

8. Let go of the need of the other person to understand where you are coming from and set the boundary for you. 

9. Accept that it is okay to take care of yourself and let go of any guilt attached to communicating your boundary to another. 

9 Things that I am done doing ever again.

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Time is essential. Especially after the past few months, I will not spend my time on things that are irrelevant. There is enough going on in life to worry, be negative or dwell on the past. 

I have made a pact to myself that I will not focus on some things moving forward in my life. 

Here are 9 things that I am done doing ever again: 

1. Feeling sorry for myself. 

2. Fearing the unknown. 

3. People who receive joy from bringing others down. 

4. People who play games. 

5. Insensitive people. 

6. Being manipulated or playing into manipulation. 

7. What happened in the past. We learn, we grow and we move forward. 

8. Inconsistent people. 

9. Unsupportive people and situations. 

4 types de personnes que j'ai décidé d'éviter lors de mon voyage spirituel.

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Avec le recul, j'ai toujours été capable de voir des choses qui n'étaient claires que pour le troisième œil et non pour l'œil clair et visible, j'ai toujours eu une intuition profonde et une connaissance de certaines choses. Cependant, cela est devenu plus prononcé lorsque j'ai décidé de me lancer dans un voyage spirituel de santé holistique et de guérison émotionnelle.

Ce fut un voyage incroyable et que je ne reprendrais jamais. Cela a révélé beaucoup de choses et surtout sur qui je suis et que toutes les réponses dont j'ai jamais eu besoin se trouvent à l'intérieur. Cela étant dit, plus j'ai appris à me connaître, plus j'ai dû accepter que tout le monde n'est pas pour moi et que je ne suis pas pour tout le monde.

Pour mon bien-être, j'ai dû me détacher de certaines personnes - pas parce que quelque chose ne va pas chez elles; nous sommes juste sur des chemins différents.

Voici 4 types de personnes que j'ai dû éviter au cours de mon voyage spirituel:

1. Des gens qui me forcent à être heureux.

Quand j'ai eu mon moment ultime de réalisation de moi, j'ai senti que je devais être parfait pour m'intégrer dans la communauté spirituelle. Vous connaissez le dicton: «Quand vous faites des plans, Dieu rit»? C’est ce qui me vient à l’esprit lorsque je pense à la façon dont je prétendais être saint et éclairé pour les autres alors que je n’avais pas abordé tous les aspects de la spiritualité.

L’amour de Dieu est la vérité et les gens qui veulent que vous ignoriez cela ne vous aiment pas pleinement. Je devais accepter que tout le monde ne comprendrait pas mon cheminement spirituel complet et qu’ils n’avaient pas à le faire. Mais, ce n'est pas à mon avantage ou au leur de mettre un faux sourire tout le temps - je vivrais un mensonge. Le fondement de la croissance spirituelle est la conscience, pas une dissimulation pour les autres, mais pour que je puisse être honnête avec moi-même et progresser en tant que personne.

2. Les gens qui parlent de moi dans mon dos.
Les gens qui parlent de vous et non de vous sont l'un de mes bêtes noires. Je suis une personne très directe et je ne comprends pas toujours bien, mais je fais de mon mieux pour communiquer avec quelqu'un que je connais et pas à leur sujet. En tant que collectif, nous sommes devenus trop lâches et cela a un effet sur nos piliers fondamentaux de vérité. Parfois, nous préférons sourire à quelqu'un plutôt que de lui faire savoir que nous ne sommes pas satisfaits de lui.

Il n'est pas nécessaire non plus que ce soit l'extrême opposé. Nous pouvons communiquer notre vérité avec compassion et amour. L'amour est la vérité et si les gens ne peuvent pas être honnêtes avec moi, il n'y a pas de place pour eux dans ma vie car la trahison est une forme d'énergie vibratoire basse. Cela n'aidera personne à vibrer plus haut.

3. Les gens qui n'écoutent pas.

L'une des plus grandes leçons que j'ai jamais apprises est d'écouter. En tant que personne passionnée et quelqu'un qui a beaucoup à dire, ce n'est pas mon fort et quelque chose sur lequel je travaille toujours. Quand j'ai commencé à travailler sur cette compétence, j'ai remarqué que peu de gens écoutent réellement ce que vous avez à dire.

Trop de gens veulent des solutions rapides pour les autres dans leur vie et aiment être entendus mais n'écoutent pas. La communication fonctionne dans les deux sens. Si vous parlez toujours et ne permettez pas aux autres de parler, vous n'êtes pas dans une conversation, vous êtes dans un monologue avec vous-même.

4. Les gens qui me gaspillent.

Avez-vous déjà quitté une conversation où vous avez exprimé ce que vous ressentiez d'un lieu de préoccupation et d'authenticité, mais où vous avez rencontré une énergie qui n'est pas favorable et combative? C'est une forme d'éclairage au gaz. Et, il peut être utilisé pour différentes raisons et à ma manière.

En fin de compte, quand quelqu'un vous gaspille, cela vous fait remettre en question ce que vous savez être vrai. Le genre d'éclairage à gaz que j'ai récemment reconnu se situe dans le monde de la spiritualité et du bien-être où si l'on parle de quelque chose de préoccupant ou de vrai, on rencontre des dictons comme: `` Ça ira bien '', `` ne vous laissez pas déranger '' ou «essayez d'être reconnaissant». Nous pouvons être reconnaissants et toujours préoccupés par quelque chose que nous devons changer, les deux peuvent être vrais.

Je n’ai pas à être heureux tout le temps et je n’ai pas besoin d’être triste tout le temps. Je choisis de m'entourer de personnes qui n'essaient pas de redéfinir ce que je ressens pour se sentir mieux ou me contrôler. Je choisis d'être avec ceux qui me soutiennent et je fais de même pour eux.

4 Types of people I have decided to avoid on my Spiritual Journey.

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Looking back, I have always been able to see things that were only clear to the third eye and not the clear visible eye, I have always had deep intuition and knowing about certain things. However, this became more pronounced when I decided to embark on a spiritual journey of holistic health and emotional healing. 

It has been an amazing journey and one that I would never take back. It has revealed a lot and mostly about who I am and that all the answers I have ever needed are within. 

With that being said, the more I have gotten to know myself, the more that I have had to accept that not everyone is for me and I am not for everyone. 

For my wellbeing, I have had to detach myself from certain people- not because anything is wrong with them; we are just on different paths. 

Here are 4 types of people that I have had to avoid on my spiritual journey: 

1. People who force me to be happy. 

When I had my ultimate self-realization moment, I felt like I had to be perfect to fit into the spiritual community. You know the saying, ‘When you make plans, God laughs’? That is what comes to my mind when I think of how I used to pretend to be Holy and enlightened for others when I hadn’t addressed the full aspects of spirituality. 

God’s love is truth and people who want you to ignore that don’t love you fully. I had to accept that not all people will understand my full spiritual journey and they don’t have to. But, it is not for my benefit or theirs to put on a fake smile all the time- I would be living a lie. The foundation of spiritual growth is awareness, not a coverup for others but so that I can be honest with myself and progress as a person. 

2. People who talk about me behind my back. 

One of my pet peeves is people who talk about you and not to you. I am a very in-your-face person and I don’t always get it right but I do my best to communicate to someone I know and not about them. As a collective, we have become too cowardly and it is having an effect on our fundamental pillars of truth. Sometimes, we would rather smile at someone than let them know we are not happy with them. It also doesn’t have to be the opposite extreme. We can communicate our truth with compassion and love. 

Love is truth and if people can’t be honest with me then there is no room for them in my life because betrayal is a form of low vibrational energy. It won’t help anyone vibrate higher. 

3. People who don’t listen. 

One of the biggest lessons I have ever learnt is to listen. As a passionate person and someone who has a lot to say, it is not my forte and something I am always working on. When I started working on this skill, I noticed how few people actually listen to what you have to say. 

Too many people want quick fixes for others in their life and love to be heard but don’t listen. Communication works both ways. If you are always talking and not allowing others to speak, you aren’t in a conversation, you are in a monologue with yourself. 

4. People who gaslight me. 

Have you ever left a conversation where you expressed how you felt from a place of concern and genuineness but, were met with energy that is non-supportive and combative? This is a form of gaslighting. And, it can be used for different reasons and in my ways. 

Ultimately, when someone gaslights you, it makes you question what you know to be true. The kind of gaslighting I have recently come to acknowledge is in the spiritual and wellness world where if one speaks of something concerning or true, they are met with sayings like, ‘It will be fine’, ‘don’t let it bother you’ or ‘try to be grateful.’ 

We can be grateful and still be concerned about something that we need to change, the two can both be true. I don’t have to be happy all the time and I don’t have to be sad all the time. I choose to surround myself with people who aren’t trying to re-shape how I feel to make themselves feel better or control me. I choose to be around those who support me and I do the same for them. 

Lo que se necesitó para llegar a mí: agosto de 2020

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Lo que se necesitó para llegar a mí: agosto de 2020

Me tomó aceptar la voluntad de Dios Para llegar a mi

Me tomó perdonar a mis padres Para llegar a mi

Me tomó curar a mi niño interior Para llegar a mi

Me tomó liberar la necesidad de imponer mi opinión a los demás. Para llegar a mi

Me tomó estar quieto Para llegar a mi

Me tomó abrazar a mi familia Soul Para llegar a mi

Me tomó entender que la felicidad es una práctica Para llegar a mi

Me tomó apreciar la masculinidad divina Para llegar a mi

Me tomó dejarme llevar Para llegar a mi

Me tomó renunciar a la idea de que lo sé todo Para llegar a mi