The 4 Ways that I have applied the 12 laws of karma to a recent break-up.

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I honestly never thought that I would have ended my last relationship until it became too difficult to be in. I thought that he was my soulmate and, maybe he is? However, for self- preservation and restoration, separation between him and I is necessary.

I was always told that love is kind. So, it is hard for me to stay with someone who continues to do something unkind to me after I have told him how it upsets me.

It hasn’t been easy. Is it ever easy? However, I am applying some of the laws of karma to this break-up. Which I have found helpful and, this is how:

1. I need to be the person who I want to be with.

I was in a yoga class when the teacher read out the laws of karma, I started crying. I cried because I promised to hate my ex and hurt him how he had hurt me. I was going to get even, even if it meant stealing my peace and some of my time. She read out The Law of Creation, when we change ourselves; our lives change too.

As the tears poured, I imagined what would happen if I got revenge and had a bunch of men around as validation, as he does with women. I cried because I knew and truly understood that I am better than that behaviour. If I am truly done with him, I need to elevate my behaviour. Which means rising above what has been done to me.

2. If I let him go, I have to truly mean it. 

It’s been difficult to let go of him because I have been told by a few different psychics that he is my soulmate. I’m not sure why and maybe I will never know. So, I keep letting him go and going back to him because a part of me wants to believe what I have been told.

When the yoga teacher read out The Law of Humility, I had a lightbulb moment: I need to accept that his behaviour is toxic towards me so that I can move forward. His behaviour is toxic because it creates behaviour in me that wants to get revenge, be spiteful and jealous- when there is never a need for any of that.

So, I accept that this relationship is toxic so that I can release the burden of needing to lie when something is weighing me down.

3. Be here now.

After I made the decision to no longer be with him, I asked myself, what if I’m never with my soulmate? And, I became sad. You see, since I was a kid, I have longed for my soulmate. I had a deep knowing and understanding that someone living was another person who I understood beyond the physical. And, when we met, we would understand.

I thought that this happened with this man. That is why I stayed and that is why I dwelled.

However, I was listening to a motivational video this morning, it spoke of our better days are on our way. Which brings me to The Law of Here and Now, progress only happens in this moment. I can’t look to the past and look to the future to be happy and content. I can only be here now.

4. Responsibility manifests through actions.

As I mentioned earlier, I was planning war with him because I know that I could get to him. The hurt me wanted to hurt him. When the yoga teacher read The Law of Resposibility, it reminded me that I need to take responsibility for how I ended up in this circumstance and the responsibility that I will take moving forward.

This man and I have a history of him chasing me and me running away from him. So, it created the atmosphere that we show each other love through him chasing me and by me not being truly present. Honestly, a part of me was afraid to be truly present because I was afraid that once the chase was done, so would we.

The person that I want to be with shouldn’t have to chase me for a few months because I will see their true heart, kind actions and glowing aura. I won’t be continuously afraid of him and run. I won’t need to be convinced to be with someone because that creates a breeding ground for unhealthy behaviour. And, what is love, if we can’t express it through kind actions?

Dear W,

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 Dear W,

Goodbye. I know that I promised to love you forever but it’s become increasingly hard and toxic to love you within close proximity. So, I am choosing now to love you from distance.

I ask that you respect this distance.

Yesterday, I promised that I would hate you but now I understand that in hating you, I only end up hating myself.

So, in the theme of forgiveness, I accept who you are and I let you go. I’m hoping that this time that I let go that I move onto a healthier relationship: one that gives me back what I have given it. First with myself and then, with someone else.

In the spirit of progression, please leave me alone. I cannot handle another interaction with you ever again.

In the spirit of peace, I wish you well! Truly and deeply well because sending you bad wishes is only a reflection of who I am. And, I am trying each day to be kinder, loving and more understanding.

I would say, ‘til later’; however, there is no later.

Goodbye W

I regret. Silver-lining.

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Universe, please help me see the silver-lining because right now, I have deep regret.

I regret ever giving him a chance.

I regret ever meeting him.

I regret ever listening to the possibility that he could be a good person.

I regret everything, absolutely everything.

I regret believing.

I regret caring.

I regret loving.

I regret anything about him and to do with him.

Please, Universe, help me to see the silver-lining? I’m finding it hard to see the silver-lining.

5 cosas que todas las mujeres fuertes necesitan saber sobre las relaciones.

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Como mujer fuerte, he aprendido muchas cosas acerca de estar en relaciones. Uno de los más obvios es la paciencia. Sin embargo, también he aprendido muchas otras cosas.

Estas son las cinco cosas que creo que todas las mujeres fuertes necesitan escuchar acerca de las relaciones:

1. Sé paciente.

A veces no es fácil tratar con las personas, de hecho, tratar con algunas personas puede ser frustrante y molesto. La mayoría de nosotros vivimos vidas ocupadas y lo último que queremos hacer es darle a alguien otra oportunidad a veces. Pero, ¿quién sabe a dónde puede llevarte esa otra oportunidad? Podría ser la única oportunidad que te acerca a alguien. Nunca lo sabrás a menos que lo intentes.

2. Los límites son herramientas; no armas

Cuando muchos de nosotros pensamos en los límites, pensamos en ser malos y rudos. Sin embargo, sin límites, ¿cómo sabrás las intenciones de alguien? Los límites no tienen que ser expresados  con profanidad y una vez que haya tenido suficiente. De hecho, pueden mencionarse como parte de quien eres. Lo que estás dispuesto a aceptar y lo que puedes manejar es parte de quién eres. Está bien expresarlo.

3. Escucha a alguien más.

Hablando honestamente, este no es mi punto fuerte. Entonces, estoy aprendiendo esto contigo. Escuchar requiere más de estar presente y escuchar a alguien salir; sin necesidad de decirle algo a esa persona. Como mujeres fuertes, estamos tan listos para responder con una respuesta. Sin embargo, a veces la fuerza significa estar abierto. Ser lo suficientemente vulnerables como para abrirnos a algo que es diferente de lo que pensábamos. En las relaciones, anteriormente he pasado gran parte de mi tiempo cortando hombres que parecían intentar herirme. Ahora, estoy aprendiendo a no asumir. Preguntar cuáles son las intenciones de alguien. Las intenciones le mostrarán hacia dónde se dirige esa persona y su relación.

4. Mantente abierto.

Cuanto más viejo me hago, más me cuesta mantenerme abierto. Es una práctica diaria. Una que requiere que no se haga. Aprendiendo del pasado y deshaciéndolo. Deshacer el dolor, el dolor y la pérdida que nos hacen más fuertes pero también nos cansan. Como mujeres fuertes, a veces confundimos fuerza con estar encerradas y vigiladas. Sin embargo, tengo que seguir recordándome que la fuerza consiste en no dejar que el pasado te agote: en tu mente, en tu cuerpo y en tu espíritu. Mantenerse abierto requiere fuerza pero fuerza que te hará sentirte más feliz y más en paz contigo mismo y con los demás.

5. El amor lo es todo.

Hay muchos tipos de amor: amor desordenado, amor destructivo, amor rudo, amor pacífico, amor respetuoso, amor insustituible, amor de cachorros, amor de bebés, amor sexy ... la lista continúa y -en.

En todos estos tipos de amor; ninguna es más importante que la otra. Todo tipo de amor tiene un propósito. A veces, cada relación experimentará la imagen más amplia del amor. El amor no siempre es rosas y sol. Las rosas y el sol es genial; sin embargo, atravesar la dificultad puede demostrarse lo fuerte que es tu amor el uno para el otro. Obviamente, hay una diferencia entre una relación no saludable y una sana; sin embargo, las relaciones sanas a veces pasan por pruebas. Los juicios no siempre significan renunciar a una relación. A veces, las pruebas significan salir más fuertes de lo que hiciste en el otro lado juntos.

5 Things all strong women need to know about relationships.

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As a strong woman, I have learnt many things about being in relationships. One of the most obvious ones is patience. However, I have learnt many other things, too. 

These are the five things that I believe that all strong women need to hear about relationships:

1. Be patient.

Sometimes it is not easy dealing with people, in fact dealing with some people can be frustrating and annoying. Most of us live busy lives and the last thing that we want to do is give someone another chance sometimes. But, who knows where that other chance can take you? It could be the one chance that brings you closer to someone. You will never know unless you try.

2. Boundaries are tools; not weapons.

When a lot of us think of boundaries, we think of being mean and harsh. However, without boundaries, how will you know anyone’s intentions? Boundaries don’t have to be expressed with profanity and once you have had enough. In fact, they can be mentioned as a part of who you are. What you are willing to accept and what you can handle is a part of who you are. It’s okay to express it. 

3. Listen to someone else.

Honestly speaking, this is not my strong point. So, I am learning this with you. Listening requires more of being present and hearing someone out; without needing to say something back to that person. As strong women, we are so ready to fire back with an answer. However, sometimes strength means being open. Being vulnerable enough to open ourselves up to something that is different than we thought. In relationships,  I have previously spent a lot of my time cutting men off who appeared to try and hurt me. Now, I am learning to not assume. To ask what someone’s intentions are. Intentions will show you where that person and relationship is headed.

4. Stay open.

The older that I get, the harder it becomes for me to stay open. It’s a daily practice. One that requires un-doing. Learning from the past and un-doing it. Un-doing the hurt, pain and the loss that makes us stronger but also makes us jaded. As strong women, sometimes we confuse strength with being closed off and guarded. However, I have to keep reminding myself that strength is about not letting the past wear you down: in your mind, in your body and in your spirit. Staying open requires strength but strength that will leave you feeling happier and more at peace towards yourself and others.

5. Love is everything.

There are many types of love: messy-love, destructive-love, tough-love, peaceful-love, respectful-love, irreplaceable love, puppy-love, baby-love, sexy-love... the list goes on-and-on.

In all of these types of love; not one is more important than the other. Every type of love has a purpose. Sometimes that every relationship will experience the broader picture of love. Love is not always roses and sunshine. Roses and sunshine is great; however, going through difficulty can prove to each other how strong your love is for one another. Obviously, there is a difference between an unhealthy relationship and a healthy one; however, healthy relationships sometimes go through trials. Trials don’t always mean giving up on a relationship. Sometimes trials mean coming out stronger than you did on the other side together.

Izinto ezingu-15 engizifundile ngothando

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Njengomuntu osanda kushada, ngezinye izikhathi ngiphuthelwa uthando nothando oluvela kumlingani wakho. Ngemuva kobuhlobo obuncane obungakapheli ngokuphelele ezimweni ezinokuthula kakhulu, ngaphambi kokuba ngilahlekelwe ukholo othandweni lobuhlobo nokusebenzisana ngifuna ukuzikhumbuza ngalokho engikufundile kulobu buhlobo. Ukuze ngikwazi ukuqhubeka phambili ngothando nokuvuleka.

Lezi ezimbalwa zezinto engizifundile ngothando:

1. Ukuhlala uvulekile.

2. Ukuthemba isithombe esikhulu.

3. Ukuthethelela.

4. Ukuvumela ukuhamba kokulindelwe.

5. Ukuzizwa.

6. Ukungathathi izinkinga zabanye abantu kanye namazwana ngabanye.

7. Ukuhlala manje.

8. Ukuthanda manje.

9. Ukucaca.

10. Ukuba nemingcele.

11. Ukukhumbula kodwa hhayi ukubamba intukuthelo.

12. Ukwamukela uthando.

13. Ukuphumula.

14. Lobuhlobo obuseduze busekelwe ekwamukelweni.

15. Ukuthi kukhona njalo uthando ngemva kothando.

15 Things that I have learnt about romantic love.

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As a newly-single woman, sometimes I miss the affection and love from a partner. After a few relationships that haven’t exactly ended in the most peaceful circumstances, before I lose faith in romantic love and partnerships I want to remind myself of what I have learnt in these relationships. So that I can move forward with love and openness.

These are a few of the things that I have learnt about love:

1. To stay open.

2. To trust the bigger picture.

3. To forgive.

4. To let go of expectations.

5. To feel.

6. To not take other people’s issues and comments personally.

7. To live now.

8. To love now.

9. To be clear.

10. To have boundaries.

11. To remember but not hold a grudge.

12. To accept love.

13. To relax.

14. That intimacy is based on acceptance.

15. That there is always love after love.

Tengo la esperanza de encontrar el amor verdadero y el respeto.

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 Tengo la esperanza de encontrar el amor verdadero y el respeto.

Tendrá la forma de alguien amable, valiente y considerado.

Él estará en la forma de alguien que es amable y amable. Amoroso y sabio Estable pero aventurero.

Tengo la esperanza de encontrar el amor verdadero y el respeto.

Él será alguien que ponga a "nosotros" primero y me recuerda que su atención y admiración no son para ningún otro. Confiaré en que él se mantendrá fiel y verdadero.

Él será alguien que se enamora de mi mente y mi alma. Como resultado, apreciaré mi cuerpo también.

Tengo la esperanza de encontrar el amor verdadero y el respeto. Él será alguien honesto, que vivirá según su sabia verdad y me recordará que viva en la mía.

Él se mantendrá firme en sí mismo y no necesita elogios ni aprobación externa para completarlo.

Aportará valor a mi vida y a otras personas, y esto hará que yo quiera elegirlo a él y solo a él con quien pasar la vida.

Les 3 raisons pour lesquelles j'ai décidé d'abandonner ma flamme jumelle.

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Mon histoire Twin Flame a été une histoire de complexité et d'aventure. Si vous n’êtes pas au courant de mon parcours avec une flamme jumelle, veuillez vous reporter à l’article intitulé «5 choses que j’ai apprises au cours de mon voyage avec une flamme jumelle».

Récemment, j'ai décidé d'abandonner ma flamme jumelle. Ce n’est pas une décision facile à prendre, mais c’est la meilleure chose à faire à cause de ces 3 choses:

1. Je mérite d'être en paix.

Pour moi, rien ne devrait vous coûter la paix et, si c'est le cas, vous devez le laisser partir. La relation entre ma flamme jumelle et moi était devenue coûteuse pour ma paix. Vous voyez, dans mes espoirs et aspirations d'être avec lui, j'ai oublié une chose: cette vie se passe maintenant. La vie n’arrive pas demain, la semaine prochaine ou l’année prochaine. La vie se passe maintenant. Pendant que j'attendais ce que les médiums m'avaient annoncé, mon niveau d'anxiété a commencé à augmenter. J'ai commencé à être impatient et je me suis demandé pourquoi cela ne s'était pas encore produit. J’ai renoncé à une relation et au temps qui me séparait de lui et il n’a pas donné les résultats escomptés. Pourquoi?

En toute honnêteté, je ne sais pas pourquoi cela n’est pas arrivé, mais je sais une chose. Chaque jour est trop précieux pour que l’on s’inquiète pour une personne qui n’est pas dans ma vie. Alors, pour honorer la paix et le moment présent, j'ai choisi de le libérer de ma vie.

2. Je fais confiance à l'univers.

Chaque fois que j'oublie, on me rappelle que l'Univers est mon dos. L'Univers a tout notre dos, nous devons simplement permettre à l'Univers de prendre soin de nous. Je suis un partisan et j'aime que les choses soient en ordre; Cependant, avec l'ordre de l'Univers, mon sens du contrôle peut parfois me gêner. Il n'y a pas de meilleur chemin que celui que Dieu a pour moi et, quand les choses deviennent trop difficiles à gérer pour moi, je dois le libérer.

Je ne suis pas sûr de savoir pourquoi Dieu m'a envoyé tous ces signes concernant ma flamme jumelle et pourquoi je me sens toujours comme si lui et moi ne signifiaient rien pour chacun d'eux, mais je sais que je fais confiance à Dieu. Complètement et complètement. Alors, comme je respecte cette confiance, je le libère. Je le libère pour que je puisse sortir de mon propre chemin.

3. Le chemin sur lequel il se trouve est différent de celui sur lequel je veux être.

Comme je l'ai déjà mentionné, il est DJ / producteur et je dois me battre contre son style de vie. Ce mode de vie est celui dont je faisais partie quand j'étais plus jeune. Faire partie de ce style de vie m'a coûté beaucoup: ma paix, ma confiance en moi et ma vérité. Je ne sais pas pourquoi il continue de faire partie de ce style de vie, mais je sais que mon parcours est beaucoup plus sain que celui que j’étais auparavant.

Je vois ma flamme jumelle et moi sur deux chemins différents. L'un n'est pas meilleur que l'autre; Cependant, j'ai trop travaillé en interne pour revenir à ma vie passée. Il y a trois ans, j'ai prié pour que je veuille seulement être dans des relations qui me rapprochent de Dieu et de l'illumination. Cette relation entre lui et moi ne semble pas en être une. Par conséquent, il est temps de le libérer et de le libérer. C'est un homme merveilleux, bon au cœur, beau et gentil et je l'aime. Avec tout l'amour que j'ai pour lui, je lui pardonne et je le laisse partir. J'espère qu'il est aimé comme il mérite d'être aimé sans que je ne l'oblige à être différent ou à changer qui il est et comment il choisit de passer son temps.

The 3 reasons why I have chosen to let go of my Twin Flame.

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My Twin Flame story has been one of intricacy and adventure. If you are not up to speed with my twin flame journey, please refer to the article entitled, ‘5 things that I have learnt on my twin flame journey’.

Recently, I have decided to let go of my Twin Flame. It has not been an easy decision but it felt like the best thing to do because of these 3 things: 

1. I deserve to be in peace.

To me, nothing should ever cost you your peace and, if it does, you must let it go. The relationship between my Twin Flame and I had become costly of my peace. You see, in my hopes and aspirations of being with him, I forgot one thing: that life is happening now. Life doesn’t happen tomorrow, next week or next year. Life is happening now. While I was waiting for what psychics had told me would happen to occur, my anxiety levels started to rise. I started to become impatient and asked myself, how come it hasn’t happened yet? I gave up a relationship and time to be with him and it hasn’t turned out how I wanted it to. Why?

In all fair honesty, I am not sure why it hasn’t happened but I do know one thing. Each day is too precious to spend worrying about someone who isn’t in my life. So, to honour peace and the present moment, I have chosen to release him from my life.

2. I trust The Universe.

Every time that I forget, I am reminded that The Universe has my back. The Universe has all of our backs, we just have to allow The Universe to take care of us. I am a go-getter and I like things to be in order; however, with the order of The Universe, my sense of control can sometimes get in the way. There is no better path than the one that God has for me and, when things become too much for me to handle, I must release it.

I’m not sure why God sent me all these signs about my twin flame and why I still feel like he and I aren’t meant for each but, something that I do know is that I trust God. Fully and completely. So, as I honour this trust, I release him. I release him so that I can get out of my own way.

3. The path that he is on is one that is different to the one that I want to be on.

As I have mentioned before, he is a DJ/ Producer and I have an internal battle with his lifestyle. That lifestyle is one that I used to be a part of when I was younger. Being a part of that lifestyle cost me a lot: my peace, my self worth and my truth. I’m not sure why he continues to be a part of that lifestyle but, one thing that I do know is that the path that I am on now is a lot healthier than the one that I was on before.

I see my Twin Flame and I on two different paths. One is not better than the other; however, I have done too much internal work to go back to how I used to live. Three years ago, I prayed that I only want to be in relationships that bring me closer to God and enlightenment. This relationship between him and I doesn’t appear to be one that does so. Therefore, it is time to release him and it. He is a wonderful, kind-hearted, beautiful and kind man and I love him. With all the love that I have for him, I forgive him and I let him go. I hope that he is loved the way that he deserves to be loved without me forcing him to be different or change who he is and how he chooses to spend his time.

I have hope that I will find true love and respect- part 3

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I have hope that I will find true love and respect.

He will be in the form of someone kind, brave and considerate.

He will be in the form of someone who is gentle and kind. Loving and wise. Stable yet adventurous.

I have hope that I will find true love and respect.

He will be someone who puts ‘us’ first and reminds me that his attention and admiration is not for any other. I will trust that he will stay faithful and true.

He will be someone who falls in love with my mind and soul. As a result, will appreciate my body too.

I have hope that I will find true love and respect. He will be someone who is honest, who will live by his wise truth and remind me to live in mine.

He will stand firm in himself and doesn’t need praise or outside approval to complete him.

He will bring value to my life, and others, and this will make me want to choose him and only him to spend my life with.

Pourquoi est-ce que je veux le laisser partir?

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Pourquoi est-ce que je veux le laisser partir?

Parce que j’ai assez donné notre relation et que j’ai maintenant l’impression de ne plus pouvoir donner.

Je veux le laisser partir parce que je veux vivre dans le flux de la vie.

Je veux le laisser partir parce que ma paix ne vaut aucune relation ni aucune autre personne. Dernièrement, cela m’a coûté ma paix de traiter avec lui et la paix est la chose la plus importante pour moi.

Je veux le laisser partir car, même si on m'a dit qu'il était mon âme-sœur, je n'en suis pas sûr.

Je veux le laisser partir parce que j’ai fini de prouver que je suis digne de l’attention de quelqu'un d’autre et que j’ai le sentiment que je ne suis pas le seul à recevoir son attention.

Je veux le laisser partir parce que je ne suis pas sûr du résultat. Tout ce que je sais, c'est que je fais confiance à l'Univers et que la séparation me semble préférable en ce moment.

Je veux le laisser partir parce que je veux réserver mon énergie et mon temps aux gens et aux situations qui me permettent d'embrasser pleinement l'amour.

Je veux le laisser partir parce que c'est l'une des meilleures décisions que j'ai prises depuis un moment. Il est sur un chemin sur lequel je ne me vois pas et ça va.

Je l'aime, je lui pardonne et je le libère.

Why do I want to let him go?

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 Why do I want to let him go?

Because I have given our relationship enough and now I feel like I am at the point where I can’t give anymore.

I want to let him go because I want to live in the flow of life.

I want to let him go because my peace is not worth any relationship or other person. Lately, it has cost me my peace to deal with him and peace is the most important thing to me.

I want to let him go because although I was told that he is my soulmate, I am not sure.

I want to let him go because I am done proving that I am worthy of someone else’s attention and feeling as though I am not the only receiving his attention. 

I want to let him go because I am not sure of the outcome, all that I know is that I trust The Universe and separation feels best right now.

I want to let him go because I want to reserve my energy and time for people and situations that allow me to embrace love fully.

I want to let him go because it feels like one of the best decisions that I have made in a while. He is on a path that I don’t see myself on and it’s okay.

I love him, I forgive him and I release him.

4 raisons pour lesquelles je ne serai pas fâché contre ma récente rupture.

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Cest drôle de voir comment nous pensons être en relation avec celui-là jusqu’à ce que tout à coup nous ne le soyons plus. Je suis coupable de croire que la relation dans laquelle je suis est «la seule» parce que je suis romantique et que je crois que l’amour a une chance.

J'ai récemment mis fin à une relation amoureuse et même si c'était difficile à faire, je pense que c'était mieux. Quand j'étais plus jeune, je mettrais fin aux relations et me distancerais des gens s'ils m'avaient blessé. Ce qui, maintenant, n'est pas toujours le cas.

Parfois, deux personnes peuvent être merveilleuses mais avoir le mauvais timing ou des projets différents pour l’avenir. En vieillissant, je me rends compte que l'amour n'est pas suffisant pour faire durer une relation malgré les difficultés. Donc, maintenant, quand je traverse une rupture, je ne suis plus en colère contre elle.

Voici 4 raisons pour lesquelles je ne serai pas fâché de ma récente rupture:

1. C'est un bon gars.

Si je pouvais choisir un partenaire idéal, ce serait lui. Il est gentil, aimant, mature, compatissant et plein de sagesse. Je sais dans mon cœur qu’il rendra quelqu'un heureux, mais que ce ne sera pas forcément moi. L’expérience de la vie m’a appris que le fait que quelqu'un soit formidable ne signifie pas qu’il est formidable pour vous.

C’est un concept difficile à saisir parce que nous voulons conserver des choses qui nous sont bénéfiques et nous entourer de bonnes personnes. Cependant, deux bonnes personnes indépendantes ne correspondent pas toujours à un bon couple.

2. La colère peut être égarée.

Au cours de notre rupture, je me suis égaré perdre ma colère. Je commençais à être fâché de la façon dont d'autres hommes m'avaient traitée et j'ai commencé à me l'envoyer. Mon passé n’est pas son problème et, s’il n’a rien fait pour que je sois fâché contre lui, il ne mérite pas ma colère.

3. Nous avons de bons souvenirs.

Je pourrais passer mes journées à regarder le passé et à compter ce qu’il a mal fait, mais cela ne serait injuste pour aucun d’entre nous car nous avons tous ensemble de très bons souvenirs. Je choisis de me souvenir des bons souvenirs parce que nous en avons beaucoup plus que des souvenirs blessants. Les bons souvenirs me rappellent pourquoi j'ai choisi d'entrer dans la relation et je choisirai d'en entrer une autre à l'avenir.

4.Je referais tout si je pouvais

Même si c'est fini, je referais tout. Je m'ouvrirais de nouveau à lui, je parlerais au téléphone tous les jours, je lui tiendrais la main, je ris de nouveau avec lui, je le tenais de nouveau et lui envoyais de nouveau des notes d'amour. Parce qu'avec l'amour, il y a toujours une chance que ça finisse. Le fait que cela se termine ne signifie pas que nous cessons d’aimer et que nous devenions amers, mais que nous donnons à tous notre conscience du fait que nous sommes reconnaissants d’avoir quelque chose que tous ne possèdent pas.

4 Reasons why I will not be angry about my recent beak-up.

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It’s funny how we think we’re in a relationship with the one until, all of a sudden, we aren’t. I am guilty of believing that the relationship I am in is ‘the one’ because I am a romantic and I believe in love having a chance.

I recently ended a romantic relationship and although it was difficult to do, I feel that it was best. When I was younger, I would end relationships and distance myself from people if they had hurt me. Which, now, is not always the case.

Sometimes, two people can be wonderful but have the wrong timing or different plans for the future. As I grow older, I realize that love is not enough to make a relationship sustain through difficulty. So, now when I go through a break-up, I am no longer angry about it.

Here are 4 reasons why I won’t be angry about my recent break-up:

1. He is a great guy.

If I could pick a perfect partner, it would be him. He is kind, loving, mature, compassionate and full of wisdom. I know in my heart that he will make someone happy but that someone doesn’t have to be me. Life experience has taught me that just because someone is great, doesn’t mean that that someone is great for you.

It’s a difficult concept to grasp because we want to hold onto things that benefit us and surround ourselves with good people. However, two good people that are independent do not always equal a good couple.

2. Anger can be misplaced.

During our break-up, I noticed myself misplacing my anger. I started to feel angry about how other men had treated me and started placing it on me. My past is not his issue and, if he has not done anything for me to be angry at him for, then he does not deserve my anger.

3. We have great memories.

I could spend my days looking at the past and counting what he did wrong but that wouldn’t be fair to either of us because we have so many great memories together. I am choosing to remember the great memories because we have many more great memories than hurtful ones. The great memories remind me of why I chose to enter the relationship and I will choose to enter another in the future.

4. I would do it all again if I could.

Even though it has ended, I would do it all again. I would open myself up to him again, talk on the phone everyday, hold his hand again, laugh with him again, hold him again and send him love notes again. Because with love, there is always a chance that it will end. Just because it will end, doesn’t mean that we stop loving and become bitter, it means that we give our all knowing how grateful we are to have something that not everyone has.

Izinto ezingaphezulu ezingu-6 ngifisa sengathi ngingayazi ngaphambi kobudlelwano bami bokuqala.

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Isiko laseNtshonalanga liye labonisa umqondo wokubambisana. Kusukela lapho siyizingane, sikhuliswa ukuba sikholwe ukuthi impilo futhi asanele kuze kube yilapho sithola omunye umuntu.

Ngakho-ke, iningi lethu lithemba ukuthola umuntu ukuthi afane nemibono yethu yalokho lo mlingani. Ukuba nomlingani kuhle; Nokho, lesi siko sothando asikhulumi ngezinto eziningi ezibalulekile. Okuwukuthi okudingeka uvikeleke ngaphakathi kwakho ukuba ube nobuhlobo obuhle kuqala.

Nazi ezinye izinto eziyisithupha engifisa ukuthi ngizozifunda ngaphambi kobudlelwano bami bokuqala.

1. Impilo iza kuqala.

Ngichitha iminyaka eminingi ngicabanga ukuthi othandweni lobuhlobo luza kuqala. Yebo, uthando lubalulekile; Nokho, injabulo kuqala. Ngeshwa, ungamthanda umuntu owenza ungathokozi futhi uthande umuntu ongathokozi. Ubudlelwano bungaphezu kokuthandana: ukuhambisana, ukwethenjwa, ukwethembeka, inhlonipho nenjabulo nakho kubalulekile ebuhlotsheni. Abantu ababili abangajabuli ebuhlotsheni kuyinhlekelele futhi bayamelana ne-Universe; Kodwa-ke, abantu ababili abajabulayo basiza ukubuyisela nokuphakamisa amandla weThe Universe.

2. Gcwalisa wena.

Enye inganekwane yokuthi sithengiswa ebuhlotsheni yilelo, omunye umuntu angakuqedela. Iqiniso ukuthi nguwe kuphela ongaziqedela wena. Ngaphandle kokuthi ukholelwe ukuthi unelisekile, othile angakunxusa futhi ngeke uliqonde. Ukuze senze okuthile, sidinga ukuyiqonda ngokugcwele futhi okufanayo kuya kulokhu. Gcwalisa wena kuqala ngaphambi kokuzama ukuqedela omunye umuntu futhi ulindele ukuthi omunye umuntu akuqede.

3. Yenza okungaphezu kokushumayela kwakho.

Kwangithatha ubuhlobo obuncane ukuqonda ukuthi indlela oziphatha ngayo ebuhlotsheni kubaluleke kakhulu kunalokho okushoyo ukuthi uzoziphatha. Nginecala lokutshela lowo owayengumlingani wami ukuthi ngizobonisa futhi cha. Ebudlelwaneni bami bamanje, ngiye ngaphawula ukuthi uma ngibonisa futhi ngivulekile, kunjalo naye. Ngendlela efanayo. Izwi elithi, 'khombisa ngesibonelo' liphinde lisebenze ebuhlotsheni ngoba ubudlelwane buyisibonelo salokho okubekayo, ubuyela emuva.

4. Amageyimu afanele izingane; hhayi abantu abadala.

Ngichithe isikhathi esiningi ngidlala imidlalo ebuhlotsheni: ngizama ukuxhaphaza izimo ngokungafuni. Kuzo zonke izidakamizwa engake ngadala ngokudlala imidlalo, ngafunda ukuthi nginguye kuphela ohluphekayo. Uma ngingamanga futhi ngiphatha kabi, ngingahle ngiphile ngokuzisola uma izinto zingasebenzi. Futhi emidlalweni, isikhathi esiningi, ubuhlobo abusebenzi ngoba omunye uzama ukulawula omunye. Ngokuvamile azisebenzi ngenxa yokuthi inhlonipho yomunye umuntu iphuma efasiteleni. Ngezinye izikhathi lapho umlingani wami engaphenduli emilayezo yami, ingxenye yami iyangena futhi ithi, 'singamthola kanjani ukuba aphendule?' Kodwa-ke, ngikhulula isidingo sokumlawula ngoba lokho esinakho kubaluleke kakhulu kimi ukulahlekelwa ngaphezu komdlalo.

5. Ukunamathela komunye umuntu akuphilile.

Kuyinto evamile ukuthi uma uthola okuthile, ungase ufune ukubambelela kuwo futhi ungawushiyi. Nokho, lokhu kungabetha abantu. Abantu badinga indawo ukuze babe ngabanye futhi bakhule. Ukubamba komunye umuntu uhlobo lwe-codependency futhi ubudlelwano obuphilile abukwenziwe ngokusekelwe ku-codependency. Zakhiwa ngokusekelwe enhlonipho nasekuthandeni, hhayi ngokuphoqa umuntu ukuba abe nawe.

6. Yiba nesibindi futhi uze njengoba ukhona.

Kungaba umonakalo ekuqaleni kobudlelwane, uzibuze ukuthi unelungelo lomunye umuntu. Ikakhulu uma uthanda lo muntu okuningi. Kodwa-ke, uma othile ethanda noma ethanda ngombono wakho ngokuphambene nawe, akulungile kuwe noma omunye umuntu. Kungase kusabe ukuthembeka futhi ukuthi ungubani ngempela ngoba kudinga ukulimala. Kodwa, uma unganiki umuntu wakho weqiniso futhi awusebenzi, ungase uphendule futhi uzisole uma ubuqiniso. Kuzwakala i-clichéd ngoba kuyiqiniso: uma umuntu engakuthandi ngawe, bese ushiya isikhala somuntu owenza ngoba kukhona umuntu ngaphandle lapho owenzayo.

I have found true love and respect.

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I have found true love and respect. He is in the form of someone who believes in the order of life. He believes that everything happens for a reason, and that we have met for a reason.

His belief is shown through his behaviour towards life and me. He wakes up enthusiastic about life and what he has to offer life. Thus, appreciating what life has to offer him.

He believes in equality so for the first time in my romantic life, I am not the only one giving my time and energy this time around.

He sees the silver-lining in clouds during stormy times. When difficulties arise between one another he, just like I, will look to the light to make it out of stormy weather.

Because he believes in peace& love and he has no reason to belittle me, name-call me or disappear when things are not going his way.

He goes out of his way to appreciate the things in his life- including me.

I have found true love and respect.

6 more things I wish I had learnt before my first relationship.

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Western culture has romanticized the idea of partnership. From the time that we are kids, we are raised to believe that life and we are not enough until we find someone else.

So, many of us are desperate to find someone to match our ideas of what that partner is. Having a partner is great; however, this romantic culture does not mention many important things. One being that you need to be secure within yourself to be in a healthy relationship first.

Here are six more things that I wish I’d learnt before my first relationship.

1. Health comes first.

I spent many years thinking that in a relationship love comes first. Yes, love is important; however, happiness is first. Unfortunately, you can love someone who makes you unhappy and love someone who you make unhappy. Relationships are about more than love: compatibility, trust, loyalty, respect and happiness are also important in a relationship. Two unhappy people in a relationship is a disaster and a disservice to The Universe; however, two happy people help to restore and raise the energy of The Universe.

2. Complete yourself.

Another myth that we are sold in relationships is that, someone else can complete you. The truth is that only you can complete yourself. Unless you believe that you are enough, someone can yell it to you and you won’t understand it. In order to practice something, we need to fully understand it and the same goes for this. Complete yourself first before you attempt to complete someone else and expect someone else to complete you.

3. Practice more than you preach.

It took me a few relationships to understand that how you behave in a relationship is more important than how you say you will behave. I have been guilty of telling a former partner that I will show up and not. In my current relationship, I have noticed that if I show up and am open, so does he. Vice versa. The saying, ‘lead by example’ also applies to relationships because relationships are an example of what you put out, you get back.

4. Games are for kids; not adults.

I’ve spent a lot of time playing games in relationships: trying to manipulate situations by being insincere. In all the mess that I once created by playing games, I learnt that I’m the only one that suffers. If I am untrue and manipulative, I might have to live with regret when things don’t work out. And in games, most of the time, relationships do not work out because the one is trying to control the other. They usually don’t work out because respect of the other person goes out the window. Sometimes when my partner doesn’t reply to my messages, a part of me sneaks up and says, ‘how can we get him to reply?’ However, I then release the need to control him because what we have is too important to me to lose over a game.

5. Clinging to someone is not healthy.

It’s normal that when you find something, you might want to cling to it and never let it go. However, this can smother people. People need space to be themselves and to grow. Holding onto someone else is a form of codependency and healthy relationships are not formed based on codependency. They are formed based on respect and love, not forcing someone to be with you.

6. Be sincere and come as you are.

It can be overwhelming in the beginning of a relationship, wondering if you are enough for someone else. Especially when you like the person a lot. However, if someone likes or falls in love with an idea of you as opposed to you, it is not fair to you or the other person. It might be scary to be sincere and who you really are because it requires vulnerability. But, if you don’t give your true self and it doesn’t work out, you might question and regret if you were authentic. It sounds clichéd because it’s true: if someone doesn’t like you for you, then leave space for someone who does because there is someone out there who does.

Why do I want to forgive myself.

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 Why do I want to forgive myself?

Because holding grudges against myself is self-inflicted torture.

I want to forgive myself because now I know better than how I did before.

I want to forgive myself because forgiveness is true freedom.

I want to forgive myself because I fell into the trap of feeling less than and unworthy. I am out and I am grateful.

I want to forgive myself because even though I had to learn the lesson again, I have finally learnt that who a man is to the world and how much money he has, does not make him worthy of my love.

I want to forgive myself because freedom is a mental state. It is completely free; all that I have to do is change my mindset.

I want to forgive myself because my previous anger showed me what I needed heal and it might take a lifetime of healing.

I want to forgive myself because today is too precious to hold onto yesterday.

I want to forgive myself because only I can truly hold myself back from this present moment.

Qu'est-ce qu'il a fallu pour vous atteindre.

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Il m'a fallu me ramollir pour vous atteindre.

Il m'a fallu que je vous apprécie pour vous rencontrer.

Il a fallu un vrai pardon pour vous atteindre.

Il a fallu un respect fondamental pour vous avoir.

Il a fallu relâcher le contrôle pour vous atteindre.

Il a fallu vous laisser entrer pour vous rejoindre.

Il m'a fallu être en paix avec moi-même pour vous avoir.

Il m'a fallu baisser la garde pour vous atteindre.

Il m'a fallu pardonner mon passé pour vous atteindre.

Il m'a fallu entendre ce que vous avez à dire pour vous atteindre.

Il m'a fallu accepter l'amour pour vous atteindre.

Il m'a fallu croire pour te rejoindre.