3 Things that I wish I’d known about anger before I became an adult.

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I have spent a lot of time being angry. In retrospect, who knows if it was warranted or not; however, I do know that most of my anger was a waste of my time. I’m not saying that being angry isn’t natural; however, I am also saying that the mindset of someone who is angry is limited because when we are angry, our focus is like a bull with a red target and we forget to appreciate what is around us. 

Over the years, I have learnt how to calmly my anger down or acknowledge it and then move forward from it. 
Here are 3 things I wish I’d known about anger before I became an adult: 

1. Don’t let anger get in the way of your future. 

My teenage years and early twenties were spent being angry and full of rage. Even though, for the most part, I perceived myself to be happy and put well together, I had a lot of inner anger. Now that I have grown, I can sum up being angry as a result of how I felt I was treated by men. In my mind, I was a victim and therefore I had a right to be angry at how men had treated me throughout my life. 

Little did I know is that all that anger was only hurting me. 8 years ago, I decided to leave my anger behind because I noticed how it was self-inflicted and stopping me from achieving anything valuable in my life. Once I released my anger, I noticed a big shift in my life. I went from being a perpetual victim to a victor and took a stand in the right direction towards healing and forgiveness. 

2. Anger triggers our bodies’ stress receptors. I am a yoga teacher and spiritual guide. What I have learnt in myself and others is that being angry releases stress receptors into our bodies and creates inflammation which internally has tremendous negative effects on our health.

One of the foundations of yoga is calming the body down to unify it with our mind and soul. I noticed that anger stopped me from unifying my body and took it out of its natural state: well-being. When we are at peace, our bodies can do what they are meant to do without being bombarded by fear and anger.

 3. The best way to have control is to be at peace about something. One of the most fundamental turning points of when I was in my twenties is when I decided to stop blaming men for the reason why my relationships had not been working out. You see, I had adopted the toxic female ideology that all men are bad and it created deep anger within me and it blocked any man coming into my life because I was convinced that all were bad.

So even if a good and wholesome man entered my life, I was stuck on being angry and dating men who triggered this emotion in me. After this moment of realization, I have had my angry moments yes! However, I can feel my anger arise and choose if I want to partake in it or not. Sometimes anger is useful but being angry all the time is not the direction of where I want my life to be in. I want to aim for peace and surrender so that I can leave situations knowing that there is only so much I can do and I leave the rest up to God. 

What it took to get to me- June 2020.

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It took me releasing my self-imposed victimhood 

To get to me

It took me understanding that people who don’t like me might never like me

To get to me

It took me releasing people who are meant to be love me but ridicule me

To get to me

It took me seeing real as real and fake as fake 

To get to me

It took being real as real

To get to me

It took me sitting in deep regrets and grievances

To get to me

It took me looking to the light 

To get to me

It took me trusting in God 

To get to me

It took me understanding that empowerment is self-governed 

To get to me

It took me being at peace in my own skin

To get to me

It took me understanding situations, people and things from all angles

To get to me

It took me letting go of the need to condemn and forsake others

To get to me

It took me choosing a better life for myself

To get to me.

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9 Choses que j'apprends.

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L'une des plus grandes choses que je dois admettre en tant qu'adulte est la façon dont nous avons été conditionnés pour penser d'une certaine manière. Ce qui devient évident lorsque quelqu'un qui ne pense pas comme les masses exprime son opinion. Ils sont souvent accueillis avec rage, jugement et critique. C'est très inutile.

Bien que je n'aie pas toujours agi sur ce point, je crois en l'individualisme et à la pensée critique, car ce qui fonctionne pour vous peut ne pas fonctionner pour un autre. Dans la société occidentale, nous avons le choix de nous responsabiliser avec nos pensées et nos actions. Parfois, nous oublions cela.

J'ai appris beaucoup de choses, mais voici seulement 9 d'entre elles:

1. Ce qui me convient n'a pas besoin d'être approuvé par quelqu'un d'autre.

2. C'est à moi de faire ce dont j'ai besoin.

3. Attendre qu'une autre personne me voie ou me valide est une perte de temps.

4. Réagir à une personne négative donne à l'autre le pouvoir.

5. Tout le monde ne comprend pas la valeur de la paix.

6. La croissance est toujours possible. Je dois juste le faire étape par étape.

7. Parfois, la santé est un effort physique, oui! Mais, parfois, il abandonne des personnes qui ont laissé le poison et la peur les contrôler.

8. Faites confiance à ce que vous savez. Pas ce qui vous a été forcé à la gorge.

9. Nous ne pouvons atteindre notre plein potentiel qu'en guérissant de l'intérieur vers l'extérieur.

9 Things I am learning.

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One of the biggest things that I have to admit as an adult is how we have been conditioned to think a certain way. Which becomes evident when someone who doesn’t think like the masses voices their opinion. They are often met with rage, judgement and criticism. It is very un-necessary. 

Although I haven’t always acted on this, I believe in individualism and critical thinking because what works for you might not work for another. Im Western society, we have the choice to empower ourselves with our thoughts and actions. Sometimes we forget that. 

I have been learning many things but here are just 9 of them: 

1. What is right for me doesn’t need to be approved by someone else. 

2. It is up to me to get what I need done. 

3. Waiting on another person to see me or validate me is a waste of time. 

4. Reacting to a negative person gives the other person power. 

5. Not everyone understands the value of peace. 

6. Growth is always possible. I just have to take it step-by-step. 

7. Sometimes health is physical effort, yes! But, sometimes it is letting go of people who have allowed poison and fear to control them. 

8. Trust what you know. Not what has been forced down your throat. 

9. We can only reach our full potential by healing from the inside out. 

9 Ways to de-stress.

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We are in some pretty hectic times and although life can’t always be easy and smooth, we must remember that stress has a direct correlation to the increase of illnesses and deaths because it impacts our immune system. 

So, please make sure that you are taking steps to calm yourself so that your body can restore. Physical trauma can leave un-necessary wear and tear. 

Here are 9 ways to de-stress: 

1. Meditation. 

2. Light lavender candles. 

3. Place lavender droplets on your bed. 

4. Massage your body with lavender oil. 

5. Yin Yoga, great for restoration: joint and tissue relaxation. 

6. Burn some sage, lavender incense or palo santo. 

7. Breathwork. 

8. Journaling: write down who you forgive and what you you want to let go of. 

9. Pray. Surrender your stresses to The High Power.

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9 Choses que j'ai dû admettre quand j'ai décidé de guérir.

La guérison est un processus et un voyage à vie. Je ne suis pas ici pour vous dire que je sais tout et que je suis meilleur que vous. Je suis humain et, tout comme vous, j'ai eu des hauts et des bas. C'est la vie et je questionne quiconque pense le contraire. Cette dernière année a été l'une des périodes les plus révélatrices et guérissantes de ma vie parce que j'ai découvert des schémas abusifs dans les relations, les familles et les situations de travail.

Avec cette décision de guérir vient le moment où je devais être honnête avec moi-même sur tout, mon passé, le présent et ce que je veux pour l'avenir.

Voici 9 choses que je devais m'avouer lorsque j'ai décidé de guérir:

1. Vous pourriez vous retrouver seul la plupart du temps mais vous n'êtes pas seul. Dieu est avec toi.

2. Certaines personnes peuvent devenir jalouses et penser que vous allez mieux, mais c'est leur projection.

3. Vous éprouverez beaucoup de regrets du passé sur la façon dont vous avez géré certaines choses, pardonnez-vous.

4. Vous ne voudrez peut-être pas faire le travail, mais cela rapporte toujours.

5. L'intention ne suffit pas. Nos actions doivent également correspondre à notre intention.

6. Vous pourriez perdre des amis et des membres de la famille pour différentes raisons. Tout le monde n'est pas censé vous accompagner là où vous allez. C'est d'accord.

7. La croissance n'est pas pour les timides et irrationnels.

8. Les gens qui veulent vous faire taire ne vous méritent pas.

9. Respirez et pardonnez. Pardonnez-vous, aux autres et à tout ce qui vous entrave. Vous méritez la liberté et cela vient une fois que vous avez été honnête avec vous-même.

9 Things that I had to admit to myself when I decided to heal.

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Healing is a process and a lifelong journey. I’m not here to tell you that I know it all and I am better than you. I am human and, just like you, I have had my ups-and-downs. That is life and I question anyone who thinks otherwise about this. 

This past year has been one of the most revealing and healing times of my life because I have been uncovering abusive patterns in relationships, families and work situations. With that decision to heal comes the point when I had to be honest with myself about everything, my past, the present and what I want for the future. 

Here are 9 things that I had to admit to myself when I decided to heal: 

1. You might find yourself alone a lot of the time but you are not alone. God is with you. 

2. Some people may become jealous and think you are better but that is their projection. 

3. You will experience a great deal of regret from the past of how you dealt with some things, forgive yourself. 

4. You might not want to do the work but it always pays off. 

5. Intention is not enough. Our actions have to match our intent, too. 

6. You might lose some friends and family members for different reasons. Not everyone is meant to come with you to where you are going. It is okay. 

7. Growth is not for the faint-hearted and irrational. 

8. People who want to silence you, do not deserve you. 

9. Breathe and forgive. Forgive yourself, others and anything else that is shackling you. You deserve freedom and that comes once you have been honest with yourself.

I forgive myself- 5/24/2020

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I forgive myself. 

I forgive myself for ever thinking that I had to sacrifice my morality and self-worth to be accepted. 

I forgive myself for allowing my kindness to be understood as weakness and not standing up for myself when necessary as a constant. 

I forgive myself for allowing negative energy to enter my space. 

I forgive myself for ever believing people who devalued me and tried to bring me down. 

I forgive myself for thinking that everyone wanted the best for me because not everyone does. 

I forgive myself for taking on others’ burdens as my own. 

I forgive myself for believing that evil is just as powerful as good. When good always wins. 

I forgive myself for accepting my own and other people’s broken pieces as whole. We work and better ourselves to become whole. 

I forgive myself for thinking that someone else’s crumbs were enough for me to accept as a whole cake. 

I forgive myself for allowing jadedness to affect me. 

I forgive myself for allowing some people’s abusive words to hold power when God’s word is the only one that defines me. 

I forgive myself for ever going back on a boundary that was set for my own and other’s betterment. 

I forgive myself for trying to be accepted by the unacceptable. 

3 Things that I have learnt about vultures.

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As hard as it is to admit this about life, a lot of it comes with vultures. People who take from others and are incapable of thinking of anyone else but themselves. All of us have aspects of this within- that is how we survive. However, there are some who lack the ability to look within, apologize and decide to give to someone without using it against that person in the future. 

These are vultures and they exist in all realms of life: family, friends, romantic relationships and work life. I’m not a psychologist or have studied psychology. However, I am a certified health coach and a spiritual guide. I have had many experiences with this behaviour, with others and even with myself. Until I chose to better myself, I was a vulture, too. 

Here are a few things that I have learnt about vultures: 

1. They give and love with conditions. 

Unfortunately, most of us are raised in a very selfish way of thinking. Many of us were taught and conditioned to believe that if I give to you, you owe me or I can use it against you in the future to make myself feel like a better person. I used to think this way. I have given and loved with conditions, tit-for-tat. This kind of conditioning is exhausting. I saw that when I expected others to give to me, it tired me because I was waiting on a day that night never come to me. 

Once, I learnt to give from a place of abundance, I released the need to get back. There is a difference between always giving and never receiving in return and, giving with the sole purpose to receive. The former is allowing ourselves to be used and the latter comes from a self-centered place. Vultures feel entitled to receive, so giving from abundance is not worthy of them doing. 

2. They can never really be happy. 

Have you ever been in the presence of someone who always has something negative to say about others? Sometimes I notice myself being that person and ask myself to focus on gratitude. I’m not sure why this is the case but, as a whole, we have a tendency to look to the negative. There have been studies that suggest we derive this from our biological nature to survive and need to be critical so that we can understand what we are up against in order to evolve as a species. 

However, I have learnt and am still learning that only pointing out the negative aspect of people is exhausting- not for them; for me. A long time ago, a friend asked me, ‘Are you ever happy with a situation?’ And, I had to be honest with myself, the answer was no. I had been conditioned and had a tendency to look to the negative. That’s when I started to meditate and consciously focus on the things are positive. There is a difference between complaining about something and acting on it to make it better vs. perpetually seeing the wrong in situations and not doing anything about it. 

3. They are just around to use you. 

This has been a constant theme in my life and I’m sure it’s a common theme in most people’s lives. I am not perfect- I don’t want to be. But, something that I take pride in is that I like to live in positivity. I believe in betterment and progression through self and hard work. Not everyone thinks like this and they don’t have to. However, when you think like this, vultures want a piece. 

You see, vultures want a piece of what you have created and what you will create at any cost because they lack the capability to do it for themselves and have a sense of jealousy towards others. If you notice there is someone who is in your life who tells you what you want to hear, disappears when you need them and is never really happy for you, you might have a vulture in your life. Notice how they respond to boundaries because they don’t take well to them and will intrude on perimeters you have set because their purpose is not to bring anything valuable into your life but to take as much as they can.

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9 Choses pour lesquelles je suis reconnaissant aujourd'hui.

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En cette période d'incertitude et de tendance à se concentrer sur le négatif, la pratique de la gratitude est importante. La gratitude soulève nos vibrations et nous rappelle tout le bien de notre vie.

Cela ne signifie pas que nous ne travaillons pas sur nos problèmes et ne nous sortons pas d'une position, mais parfois nous devons nous souvenir de la positivité pour pouvoir y travailler. Voici 9 choses dont je suis reconnaissant en ce moment:

1. Mon corps.

2. Mon esprit.

3. Le temps de faire une pause et de réfléchir.

4. Situations que j'ai abandonnées.

5. Cette fois pour grandir.

6. Cette fois au pardon.
7. L'éveil qui s'opère en moi et chez les autres.

8. Les gens et les choses pour lesquelles je n'étais pas, vice versa.

9. La grâce de Dieu. Consultez notre notre école d'élévation, ici.

9 Things that I am grateful for.

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In this time of uncertainty and tendency to focus on the negative, the practice of gratitude is important. 

Gratitude lifts our vibration and reminds us of all the good in our life. That doesn’t mean that we don’t work on our problems and get us out of a position but sometimes we need to remember positivity so that we can work towards it. 

Here are 9 things that I am grateful for right now: 

1. My body. 

2. My mind. 

3. The time to pause and reflect. 

4. Situations that I have let go of.

5. This time to grow. 

6. This time to forgiveness. 

7. The awakening taking place within me and others. 

8. People and things that I was not for, vice versa. 

9. God’s grace. 

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Dear Hali- a letter to my inner child.

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Dear Inner Child, 

There will come a time when you come to understand for yourself that there is only so much others can do for you- you have to do for yourself. 

The World is made up of Egos and facades and, unfortunately, we are raised to feed that but please don’t give into that. It won’t always be easy but it is necessary. There will come a time when you will be misunderstood and shamed into thinking and being like others but, please hold onto your authenticity. That is how your light will shine. 

I know that sometimes you wish you had role models who showed you how to love in a healthy way but somethings we have to learn for ourselves. It’s not up to who raised you to define you or validate you, it is up to you. 

I know that sometimes you feel like a small dot in The Universe because you are. Instead of that frightening you, let it humble you. So that no matter what you accomplish or don’t, you can still be grateful. 

There will be people who are around to teach you: family, friends and boyfriends who at times will be kind, at times will press your buttons and, at times will hurt you to your core. Their words are not God’s word. Yes, continue to work on yourself but do not be shackled by what you did a year, ten years or a lifetime ago. Apologize, forgive yourself and create healthy habits. Because life is too precious to live it ashamed, guilted and manipulated into. 

There is power in truth and please don’t forget that. Secrets fester in the dark, truth is light. Sometimes it blinds us but then we find our way. Whatever that way is, do it in the light. 

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9 Things that I have had to re-learn and learn about forgiveness.

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Life is about growth. Learning, unlearning and then sometimes re-learning. In the last past year, I have had to break down a lot of emotional abuse I have endured growing up, saw how I enabled people who continued to abuse me and how I contributed to the bigger picture of those who took from me as opposed to had genuine reciprocal relationships. 

It has been a journey that I didn’t ever know would take place but when I found myself in the same cycle of attracting narcissists, I had to look within. I had to start from the beginning regarding relationships. I had to re-learn what a healthy relationship is and create new habits so that I wasn’t falling into the same trap. 

You see, I had always believed that if I had a good attitude and gave more than I got then I would be loved but that is a false statement that led to me attracting emotionally abusive people in my life.

The biggest lesson that I have learnt is about forgiveness. Self-forgiveness and then forgiveness for others. Here is what I have learnt about it: 

1. Forgiveness is not a pass. 

2. Forgiveness is freedom and a gateway to peace. 

3. Forgiveness is not about anyone else but me. 

4. Forgiveness sometimes means saying a firm, ‘no.’

5. Forgiveness is usually not easy and requires practice. 

6. Forgiveness is worth working towards. 

7. Forgiveness is about uplifting the vibration, little-by-little at a time. 

8. Forgiveness is a form of a healthy boundary. 

9. Forgiveness allows us to process and be present. 

9 Remplacements que je fais dans ma vie.

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Au cours du week-end, j'ai lu une citation qui parlait des remplacements que nous devons faire dans notre vie pour réussir. Cela m'a inspiré.

Souvent, lorsque nous pensons au succès, c'est généralement en référence à l'argent. Cependant, pour moi, il prospère dans tous les aspects de votre vie. À quoi sert l'argent si vous l'accumulez et vivez dans l'isolement? Nous sommes des êtres communautaires qui prospèrent grâce à l'amour, la santé et la créativité. Et c'est ma définition du succès.

Voici les 9 remplacements que je fais dans ma vie:

1. Remplacer de faux amis et membres de la famille par des personnes authentiques.

2. Remplacer l'égoïsme par l'altruisme.

3. Remplacer le manque de frontières par des frontières saines.

4. Remplacer le besoin de penser et d'agir comme tout le monde pour embrasser mes propres pensées et capacités.

5. Remplacer les personnes passives agressives par des personnes qui communiquent depuis un lieu de compassion.

6. Remplacer les faiseurs de promesses vides par des gens qui suivent.

7. Remplacer les choses enfantines par la maturité.

8. Remplacer le ressentiment par la compréhension.

9. Remplacer la honte et la culpabilité par l'amélioration.

9 Replacements that I am making in my life.

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Over the weekend, I read a quote that was about replacements that we need to make in our lives to be successful. It inspired me.

Often when we think of success, it is usually in reference to money. However, to me, it is thriving in all aspects of your life. What good is money if you hoard it and are living in isolation? We are communal beings who thrive off of love, health and creativity. And, that is my definition of success. 

Here are the 9 replacements I am making in my life: 

1. Replacing fake friends& family members with genuine people.

2. Replacing selfishness with selflessness. 

3. Replacing lack of boundaries with healthy boundaries. 

4. Replacing the need to think and act like everyone else to embracing my own thoughts and capabilities. 

5. Replacing passive aggressive people with people who communicate from a place of compassion. 

6. Replacing empty promise- makers with people who follow through.

7. Replacing childish things with maturity. 

8. Replacing resentment with understanding. 

9. Replacing shame and guilt with betterment.

I forgive myself.

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Why do I want to forgive myself? 

Because now that I know better, I am doing better. 

I forgive myself because sometimes growth comes in the form of making mistakes and learning from them. 

I forgive myself because I refuse to be shackled to my low moments in life. I choose to vibrate higher and see the silver-lining in every situation, including the choices that I have made. 

I forgive myself because aiming for perfection isn’t helpful and doesn’t allow me to connect with others. 

I forgive myself because a lot of life is about getting back up again, even when we don’t think it’s possible. 

I forgive myself so that I can hold myself accountable today, tomorrow and in the future- without emotionally labelling myself. 

I forgive myself because mental and physical freedom is not free, sometimes I have to fight for it. 

9 Forms of strength that are worth embracing.

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When the word strong appears in my mind, I often think of physical strength. Which, is a real thing, yes! However, sometimes I forget about the other ways that we can develop our strength, mentally or physically. 

Evolution of any circumstance requires strength because we have to decide whether or not we can pull through and make it to the other side. 

Especially during this time, I have been reminded that strength shows up in many different forms and here are a few of them that are worth embracing: 

1. Listening- we all want to be heard but very few take the time to listen. 

2. Kindness- genuinely. Not for a prize or for others but so that we can feel good about who we are as contributors in This World.

3. Commitment- we can all give up. But, what do we have to show for ourselves if we do? 

4. Self-awareness- looking at ourselves and what we can do to be better is empowering because the we can do something about it. 

5. Accountability- that way once we have started something, we finish it. 

6. Morality- defining what we stand for, clearly, so that we have purpose. 

7. Devotion- Committing to the betterment of a situation or person so that we know that we gave it our all. 

8. Differentiating when to fight for something or to let it go- it’s a balance that when mastered, you will become unstoppable. 

9. Giving peace it’s value- only through stillness can we absorb all of the other forms of strength within ourselves. 

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Lo que desearía haber sabido sobre estos 3 tipos de personalidades.

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La vida es un viaje y tenemos cartas que podemos usar para beneficiarnos o trabajar en nuestra contra. Es posible que haya escuchado esta analogía a menudo. Pero ¿qué significa esto? Para mí, significa que haré lo mejor de la vida sin importar lo que me arrojen. Trabajaré duro, pensaré de manera inteligente y haré lo que pueda para ser lo mejor posible, independientemente de mi procedencia, el color de mi piel o el hecho de haber nacido mujer porque mi poder está en mis manos.

Tener esta mentalidad me ha metido en mucha agua caliente. Admito que no siempre soy sensible y compasivo en algunas áreas, en las que estoy trabajando. Sin embargo, he aprendido que hay tipos de personalidad que prefieren quejarse que trabajar, quejarse en lugar de corregir y desafiar la verdadera libertad en lugar de definirla por sí mismos.

A medida que avanzo, aprendo más y más, que no puedes ayudar a aquellos que no quieren que te ayuden.

Aquí hay más de lo que desearía haber sabido sobre estos 3 tipos de personalidades:

1. Los que se niegan a crecer.

El crecimiento es opcional y cuanto más envejezco, más puedo diferenciar claramente entre las personas que se esfuerzan por evolucionar y las que se quedan estancadas. Yo era una de esas personas que sentía que podía permanecer igual y que nada me cambiaría a mí ni a mi punto de vista sobre la vida. Pero, rápidamente aprendí que solo me lastimaría si no estuviera abierto a ver la vida desde una perspectiva diferente.

Negarse a crecer va en contra del ciclo de nuestras vidas. Al igual que los árboles arrojan hojas, estamos destinados a arrojar una parte de nuestra personalidad y adquirir otra. Eso está evolucionando. Comprender qué funciona y qué no. Si no evolucionamos y descubrimos lo que no funciona para nosotros, solo nos dañamos a nosotros mismos porque estamos recreando la misma vida, una y otra vez, y esperamos resultados diferentes. Que es una forma de locura.

2. Los que culpan de lo que les ha sucedido a otras personas.

Un amigo compartió una cita en Instagram que decía: "El mundo podría ser responsable de su dolor, pero usted es responsable de su propia curación". Y me resonó profundamente. Conté la cantidad de veces que culpé de ser mujer, ser de color o ser criada en un país en desarrollo. Entonces, recordé lo bien que se sentía tener poder de todos modos.

A pesar de lo que mis antepasados ​​(independientemente de su herencia) habían experimentado, hoy estoy aquí. Eso es una prueba de que más está yendo bien que no. El poder está en usar lo que pensé que eran mis desventajas como mis ventajas. Me conecto con personas que se sienten aisladas porque una vez lo hice y entiendo completamente que el aislamiento a veces es externo, pero generalmente es autoimpuesto. Podemos pasar nuestro tiempo culpando o trabajando para estar completos y llenos de amor. Puede ser injusto, sí! Pero, ¿quién pierde si no lo hacemos? Definitivamente no es la persona a la que culpamos, lo hacemos.

3. Gente que nunca será feliz conmigo.

Solía ​​sufrir profundamente la necesidad de hacer felices a las personas a mi alrededor. Cuando me di cuenta de esto, pensé que era para salvar a la persona que quería hacer feliz. Sin embargo, me di cuenta de que era para servirme a mí y a mi Ego. Verá, si tuviera que estar cerca de alguien que no estaba contento conmigo, me sentiría mal porque quería parecer una buena persona. Durante la última década, he estado sanando esta parte de mí mismo. El lado que quiere parecer "bueno" porque he aprendido que si vivo de verdad, no todos estarán contentos conmigo. He tenido que aprender que a algunas personas no les agradaré, especialmente cuando no sigo a las multitudes y defiendo lo que es moral y está alineado con la palabra de Dios.

No es mi trabajo agradarme y liberarme de la necesidad de ser rehén de las opiniones de otras personas es liberador. Podría pasar por la vida sin que los demás me entiendan, pero mientras viva una vida que alabe a Dios, sea éticamente sólida y esté orientada a la salud, no tengo que buscar la aceptación de los demás. Puedo buscar dentro de mí todo el abrazo que necesitaré.

What I wish I’d known about these 3 types of personalities.

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Life is a journey and we are dealt with cards that we can either use to advantage us or work against us. You might have heard this analogy often. But what does this mean? To me, it means that I will make the best of life no matter what is thrown at me. I will work hard, think smart and do what I can to be my best, regardless of where I have come from, the colour of my skin or being born a woman because my power is in my hands. 

Having this mindset has gotten me into a lot of hot water. I admit to not always being sensitive and compassionate in some areas- which I am working on. However, I have learnt that there are personality types that would rather whine than work, complain rather than correct and, defy true freedom rather than define it for themselves. 

I am learning more and more as I go and mostly, that you can’t help those who do not want to be helped. 

Here is more of what I wish I had known about these 3 types of personalities: 

1. Those who refuse to grow. 

Growth is optional and the older that I get, the more that I can clearly differentiate the difference between people who make an effort to evolve vs. those who stay stagnant. I was one of those people who felt like I could stay the same and that nothing would change me or my view on life. But, I quickly learnt that I would only hurt myself  if I was not open to seeing life from a different perspective. 

Refusing to grow works against the cycle of our lives. Just like trees shed leaves, we are meant to shed a part of our personality and acquire another. That is evolving. Understanding what works and what doesn’t. If we don’t evolve and figure out what isn’t working for us, we only hurt ourselves because we are recreating the same life, over and over and expecting different results. Which is a form of insanity. 

2. Those who blame what has happened to them on other people. 

A friend shared a quote on Instagram that said, ‘The World might be responsible for your pain but, you are responsible for your own healing.’ And, it resonated with me deeply. I recounted the amount of times that I had blamed things on being a woman, a person of colour or being raised in a developing country. Then, I remembered how good it felt to be empowered anyway.

Despite what my ancestors (regardless of heritage) had experienced, I am here today. That is proof that more is going right than not. The power is in using what I thought were my disadvantages as my advantages. I connect with people who feel isolated because I once did and I understand fully that isolation is sometimes external but is usually self-imposed. 

We can spend our time blaming or work to being whole and full of love. It might be unfair, yes! But, who loses if we don’t? Definitely not the person we blame, we do. 

3. People who will never be happy with me. 

I used to suffer deeply from the need to make people around me happy. When I became self-aware of this, I thought that it was to save the person that I wanted to make happy. However, I came to realize that it was to serve me and my Ego. 

You see, if I had to be around someone who wasn’t pleased with me, I felt badly because I wanted to appear like a good person. Over the past decade, I have been healing this part of myself. The side that wants to appear ‘good’ because I have learnt that if I am living truthfully, not everyone will be happy with me. 

I have had to learn that some people won’t like me, especially when I am not following the crowds and stand up for what is moral and in alignment with God’s word. It is not my job to be liked and releasing myself of the need to be held hostage by other people’s opinions is liberating. I might go through life never being understood by others but as long as I live a life that praises God, is ethically sound and health-orientated, I don’t have to look to others for acceptance. I can look within for all the embrace that I will ever need. 

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9 Izinto engizibongayo.

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Ukuzibonakalisa ukubonga kungitholile ezintweni eziningi. Kungisizile ukwehlisa ukukhathazeka kwami ​​futhi ngigxila esithombeni esikhulu. Ngikholwa ngokweqiniso ukuthi yonke into isebenza ngendlela yethu, noma ngabe siyayithanda noma cha.

Futhi, ukwamukela ukuthi izimo zingasizuzisa kanjani kunamandla noma ngabe ingqondo yethu yokucabanga iyakhathazeka futhi izwa ukungakwazi ukulawula. Kwesinye isikhathi, kudingeka nje sinikele esimweni esithile futhi sibheke zonke izinto esidinga ukubonga ngazo.

Nazi izinto eziyi-9 engijabule ngazo:

1. Umzimba wami ophilile.

2. Ingqondo yami ephilile.

3. Isikhathi esengeziwe sokuhlala nami futhi ngibhekane nezinkinga ebengizibalekela.

4. Umphakathi wami.

5. Abangani bami abamangalisayo nomndeni wami.

6. Abantu abangiphonsele inselelo, ukuthi ngabe basekhona yini empilweni yami noma cha.

7. Izinselelo zempilo ezingenze ngathola amandla ami ngaphakathi.

8. Noma ngubani oke wangabaza kimi, wacabanga kancane ngami noma wazama ukungiyekisa amandla ami aphelele.
9. Noma ngubani owangikhuthaza, wangisekela, wangivuma futhi wangikhumbuza ukuthi ngingafinyelela ikhono lami eliphelele.